The Mob Princess
by PonderRose
Summary: I have a very important secret- I am a mob boss's daughter. No one knows; not my best friend Kate, not my detective other best friend, and not my new overprotective boss Christian Grey. None of them knows the danger I'm truly in, and I have the scar to prove it. Told by Anastasia Steele's P.O.V. (most of the time). Enjoy!
1. You Will Succeed Me

_My previously winced eyes slowly opened when I realized what had not happened. I was laying on the ground with my arm still protectively raised up in front of me. I fell backwards but nothing happened to me…. nothing happened. That's when I heard the sound of her heaving heavily. _

_My eyes grew larger than they ever had before. There, standing protectively ahead of me was a girl, a woman. I didn't see her face; the hood of her light pink hoodie was up. All I saw was a few strands of very long brown hair waving out in front of her. She was clutching at her front; a pool of blood beginning to drip down her sides, coagulating around her feet. The two men who just stabbed her looked mortified. _

"_Dude, do you know who she is?!" She…. saved me. "Oh hell! We're done for!" She got in the way just now; I…. I didn't even see her standing there. "What should we do?! Take her to the hospital?!" "It's too late for that! Come on, let's get outta here before the others catch us!" She jumped in the way, getting stabbed instead of me. And I didn't even know what she looked like…. I couldn't see her face. She somehow managed to take off before I could stop her; see her… I tried to catch up, to find her, but I never did. And she's haunted me ever since. _

_The faceless angel who saved me._

Eight Years Later:

I came through the front doors of the manor house. I didn't come here often; Daddy installed me in my own apartment in a fancy neighbour across town. And I didn't like coming here either; I only did when Daddy summoned me to see him. He'd usually come see me on more casual occasions. The "family" butler held the office door open for me. "This way, Miss Steele." "Thanks, Jerome," I grinned back at him before going inside. Daddy was sitting at his place by the gigantic fireplace at the one side of his study. He smiled up at me and set down his brandy.

"Hello, sweetheart," Daddy came over to give me a big hug. "Hi, Daddy," I embraced him back. We got the formalities quickly out of the way and he went to sit behind his large, dark-wood desk. He took out a thick, brown envelop and slid it in my direction. "You're tuition. Go put it in the bank tomorrow and then transfer it to your UK account." "Thanks, Daddy…. But you really don't have to do this." "Course I do. It was my idea that you go to university in the first place." "Undergrad, but not PhD," I countered softly. He looked at me for a moment, then smiled. "It's good you're in school; makes you look normal." "I am normal, Daddy. I'm just a postgrad." "For now, maybe. But I'll be retiring sooner than later. It's time we start thinking about things, sugar."

My smile began to fade. Ever since I was small, Daddy wanted me to take his place as head of his mob. Of course there was the obvious problem that I was a girl, but seeing as I was Daddy's only child, he fought it tooth and nail. It didn't matter how I felt about the situation; this was all preordained for me…. Despite me wanting nothing to do the mob. I was getting a PhD in literature; I wanted to be a writer…. In other words, I didn't see myself living the mob-life, especially as the head of it. Daddy, on the other hand…..

"Daddy, I already told you. I don't want to be head of the mob; that's not for me." "Sure, it is; you're my daughter. They'll accept it eventually. And besides, it's the most protective spot for you," his eyes started to narrow onto me. "I don't want to be protected; I want an ordinary life. I don't want to be in a position where I have to be protected." "Oh, it's already way too late for that; that was sealed the day you were born. You're my daughter, Ana; that's enough for any rival gang, whether I'm still in charge or not." "Then I'll move; I don't have to stay in the city." "It doesn't work like that, sweetheart. Once in a gang, always in a gang." "But I'm not in the gang!" "You're my daughter; that's practically sufficient. Come on, Ana; don't make this harder than it already is," he leaned back in his chair and clasped the bridge of his nose.

No… just no. I wasn't about to let my father's profession dictate my life. I never signed up for that. I drew a deep, deep breath; my hands balled into fist. "No, Daddy; I'm not going to do it. I wasn't made to lead anyone, and I definitely wasn't made for this. You'll just have to find someone else to replace you." His glaze immediately sharpened on me; he was visibly annoyed. "I don't care if you can lead or not. The safest place for you is here like this. I don't want anything to happen to you, Anastasia. And you know better than anyone how dangerous it is for people like us. You were stabbed once already, remember?" My lips tightened. Of course I remember that; I still have the scar….

"Ana, the sooner you come to terms with things, the better. This isn't a punishment; I just want what's best for you. We can't rely on police protection; it goes far deeper than anywhere they can reach. You're going to replace me, Anastasia." "No, I'm not." "Then you're going to marry whoever does! No matter what, you need to stay at the center; you're my daughter. Do you have any idea the target that paints on your back? It's your choice, kiddo; either you succeed me or marry the man who does.

That's the best way to keep you safe now."


	2. I Deserve Better

I walked down the street in a sort of daze. It was getting dark out now; probably should have put my hood up. But… I didn't. I didn't do anything but walk…. Walk and think. _"You're my daughter. Do you have any idea the target that paints on your back? It's your choice, kiddo; either you succeed me or marry the man who does."_ Why? My legs began to move faster on their own accord. Why does it have to be this way? I never asked for any of this. I failed to realize that I was full-on running right now. I just ran down the street, aimlessly…. like I was trying to run away from someone… or something.

Oh, god; why me? I can't run a mob. I don't want to… Don't I get a say? Why can't I have a say? It's not fair. Tears started to well up my eyes. It's totally not fair! Don't I get a say? Why does it always have to be this way? Why? I guess I was running so hard that I accidently ran into someone. The impact was so bad that both of us stumbled back in opposite directions. Why me? "Hey!" The burly man spun around to glare at me. Why can't I just be normal? "S-sorry…" My lips spoke on their own; my brain was in a weird place right now. The man glowed at me for a moment before his hollow face lit up.

"Oh shit, I know you." You did? Cause I certainly didn't know you. "You're Ray's girl, aren't you?" And just like that, everything snapped to. I blinked up to see a thug who was likely in a rival gang; I forgot this was their turf. I should have known much better than to come here…. I should have been paying attention. My blood grew cold when he took a step closer. And I didn't have my pepper spray on me! Dammit, Ana! What have you done to yourself just now?!

"Well, lookie who we have here, boys! Got us a treat!" My lips actually parted as two more lackies emerged from behind the corner. Their expressions went from confused to viciously sadistic. "Awe, did the widdle Dollar lose her way home?" "This here's our turf, girly; or did you forget?" "I'm not… I'm not a Dollar," I took a terrified step backwards. I'd been in situations like this before; they never ended well. "Sure, you are; I'd know that pretty face anywhere." "Hope it's still pretty by the time we're done with it," one leered lustfully; I had to resist the urge to vomit.

"G-get away from me," I didn't sound as confident as I wanted. I considered running, but there were three of them and one of me; if they caught me after I tried to escape…. "We're not gonna hurt cha'," the first guy took another step towards me. "Well, we might a little. It depends on how much you squirm," the other tacked on. Ah, screw it; I'd take the risk. I spun around to make a dash for it. Bad move. Within seconds, I found myself being tackled to the ground.

We both landed on the concrete with this thud. The first guy sat on me, pinning me down by the waist. He proceeded to take hold of both my wrists. The sickest, most twisted leer ran across his lips. "Boy, is Ray going to be mad." No… No, I'm so sick of this; I'm so sick of being a pawn, a target in someone else's game. I never wanted this… "G-get off!" I whispered; that was all I could manage at the moment. "Not a chance," he hissed, pinning both my hands roughly on the ground beside my head. No, no; I can't live like this. Getting stabbed, attacked, running for my life… Don't I deserve better? I deserve better- I deserve a life.

With a sudden burst of adrenaline, I began thrashing around as hard as I could. The man on top of me started to struggle, cursing at me annoyed. "Get off of me! Get off!" "Shut up!" "Someone, help! Please! Help me!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. Someone would hear me; this wasn't a secluded street or alleyway. The other lackies began to look nervous, while their boss grew more determined. He tried desperately to get a hold of me. "You stupid bitch! I'll rip your tongue out!" "Help! Help! I'm being attacked! Help, please!" I think that's the loudest I've ever screamed in my life. If my planned worked and a Dollar found them, they better say their prayers now. But to my surprise, someone else arrived.

"Get away from her!" The man overtop me was suddenly tackled off. It was his turn to crash onto the pavement, accidently knocking his head against it- hard. I gasped for a second and quickly sat up to gaze at my savior. It was not at all who I was expecting. I thought a Dollar would rescue me but here was this business man. That's the best way I can think to describe him. He was wearing a grey suit and tie; his shoes were of the expensive make. He obviously had money; was probably some big-time lawyer or something. He was pale, slender, and very strong. His eyes went from the brute currently on the ground over to me and we simply stared at each other for a moment. Oh… oh god.

He was gorgeous! Like, even Adonis would be jealous of him. He looked to be roughly my age, maybe a year or two older. Man, his face was chiselled; it was like a Greek god statue come to life. And here I was, laying all dirty on the pavement like some helpless baby. Still, he had such concern in his eyes that I couldn't help but get lost in them. Perfect blue; they were the most perfect shade of blue. I don't know how long we stared silently at each other like that- likely ten seconds or so- before he rounded up the other two freaks. By then the cops had arrived and we were all being escorted to the police station. My savior, hereby dubbed Mr. Gorgeous until further notice, demanded that I go to a hospital instead, in case of injury. We hadn't even said one word to each other, and he was already threatening the cops on my behalf. I guess this guy had power- or money; one of the two. Most likely both.

Eventually, while I remained with a junior officer in the back, they convinced Mr. Gorgeous that they would personally escort me to the hospital themselves if I was indeed hurt. I don't think I was but that may be the adrenaline talking. I might wake up with a fractured skull or sprained ankle tomorrow; who knows. We all piled in different police cars and were driven off. This was one trip I definitely wouldn't be telling Daddy about. Funny though… I had just experienced something quite traumatic, and the whole way to the station, all I could think about was Mr. Gorgeous's sapphire eyes. I have no clue why but every time I tried to think of something else, there they were.

There they were.


	3. The Kindness Shown to Me

"Ok, Miss Steele. I'm just going to ask you a few questions," one of the cops who brought us in was interviewing me. Mr. Gorgeous was also being interviewed separately, while the three men were thrown in a holding cell. "So you said you were going home from your father's place?" "Yes." "Can you give me his address?" I hesitated for a second; I technically wasn't supposed to give the manor's location to anyone, particularly the cops. "I-I don't remember it exactly. We just moved here not too long ago." "I understand. Can you give me your address?" "Um, I think it's fifty-eight Leith Street?" I knew my address, but I had to sound convincing. He nodded and wrote this down.

"Ok, so you were walking home when you ran into these three men, right?" "That's right." "And they attacked you in the middle of the street?" "Yes." "We've verified this with the local security cameras; you've got nothing to worry about, Miss Steele. They won't be bothering you again," he tried to sound as reassuring as possible. His hand scribbled down some more and then he grinned up at me. "Are you alright?" "I think so…" "Any injuries? Does it hurt anywhere?" "N-no, I'm fine… I think." "Ok, good. You were knocked down pretty hard back there, and Mr. Grey's insisting we send you to the hospital for a scan." "Mr. Grey?" Who's that?

Before he could answer, the office door slid open. Another older officer and Mr. Gorgeous entered. Mr. Gorgeous flawless blue eyes immediately locked onto me. "Officer Doyle?" The other cop asked my questioner. "Got everything we need, sir. Don't worry, Miss; we'll press charges on your account. You don't have to do anything else." "And I'd like to offer my lawyer to represent her case," we all blinked stunned to Mr. Gorgeous. Whoa! Personal lawyers aren't cheap; why would he offer that to me? Even the police seemed stunned by such generosity. "Um, sir; that's not really necessary. The state provides a lawyer." "Nevertheless, I'd prefer if she was represented by mine. This will be a quick case; there's overwhelming evidence. The cost will be nothing to bear." "Uhhhhhhh," both policemen just looked at each other dumbstruck. "W-well, ok then. I'll have a statement sent to their office." "Please do. Now, if you please, I'd like a word with Miss Steele." Wait, how'd he know my name? Who is this guy?

The cops just glanced at one another again before shrugging. "Alright, we'll go fill in these reports. Call us if you need anything, Miss Steele." "Some water for her would be great, gentlemen," Mr. Gorgeous directed. "Erm, yes sir," they said, shutting the office door behind them; they left it open a crack, just in case. Mr. Gorgeous waited until we were alone before gazing down at me; his expression much softer this time.

"How are you feeling, Miss Steele?" "Um, a-alright, thank you?" "That was quite a fall you had back there. After we're done here, I'll have them take you to the hospital for examination." "Oh, no! That's ok; I'll be fine, really!" My hand shot up in protest. He did not look amused. "Miss Steele, you hit your head on the concrete. You may have a concussion, even if you don't feel it now." "Uh…. um…. ok?" I…. didn't really know what to say to that; maybe I did have a concussion, after all. That's when I remembered….

"Erm, sir… t-than-…. thank you, for saving me back there." Mr. Gorgeous didn't say anything for a second, instead electing to watch me intently. Eventually his stance softened. "No thanks required. I acted on impulse." "Your impulse was to tackle the guy?" I immediately regretted asking this. I shouldn't have said that…. Oh god, Ana; what's wrong with you today? He didn't answer right away again, still gazing down at me. His eyes narrowed a sliver.

"I misspoke; my body acted on its own accord. I saw him holding you down and just… acted." I guess that's all the explanation I'm going to get. Good enough! "Well, thank you, sir. You….. really did save me." Another natural pause fell over us; it didn't feel so awkward this time… for some reason. Soon enough, his mouth finally opened again. "It's ok if you're not ok right now, Miss Steele. Take your time recovering from this, especially if anything comes up at the hospital." Ok, this was getting weird; I had to address the elephant in the room sometime. Now seemed like as good a time as any. I drew in a big breath and peered up at him a bit shyly.

"Um, can I ask you something?" "Yes." "Why are you being so kind and attentive to me?" "What?" The lines on his face began to tighten. "I-I mean, we don't know each other. Why do you care? Why did you offer me your lawyer?" To my surprise and horror, Mr. Gorgeous didn't respond right away. His eyes scrolled off into space, looking almost like he didn't have an on-hand answer to my question. After a while, his lips parted just a tad and he spun around. With his back facing me, he eventually found the answer he was looking for.

"I cannot give you an adequate answer, Miss Steele. It's a personal story, but it deeply irritates me seeing mobsters hurt women." A personal story? I wonder if he saw someone get hurt in the past. "I'm sorry I can't offer a more satisfying response," he then gazed back over his shoulder to me with those endless blue eyes. "Oh! No, it's fine; I understand." Maybe he saw someone get hurt in the past and is trying to compensate what she went through by being kind to me. It's impossible to say…. But I hope that's not the case. I hope it's nothing like the story of me getting stabbed eight years ago for this one guy. Funny, I never think about it, but I didn't even see what he looked like. Hope he's doing ok now too.

"Your worries are over now, Miss Steele. I'll handle everything from here on; all you have to do is go to the hospital and do whatever the doctors say. Do you understand?" "Uh… w-well, thank you, sir. But I'm a grown woman; I can deal with stuff on my end." His lips seemed to fight both smiling and frowning at the same time; as if they wanted to do both. I don't think he was used to being told "no" a lot. "I said I will handle it. Just leave it to me; I'd prefer to oversee matters myself." "Really, you don't have to do that. It's too much trouble for you to do for a stranger like me." "I'll be the judge of that." "I…."

"Anastasia!" We both suddenly turned to see the office door ram open. A heaving and sweaty Paul Clayton was standing there, staring at me with the widest of eyes. He had this aura of worry about him. And it didn't take long for him to dash over to my side.


	4. Paul Meets Mr Gorgeous

"Are you hurt? Ana, look at me. Look at me," my overprotective friend repeatedly scanned me for injury. "I'm fine, Paul; really." "No, you are not fine." Oh boy, here we go. Paul didn't even acknowledge Mr. Gorgeous's presence; his eyes were firmly locked onto me, him squatting in such a position that we were level.

"What were you doing out alone, Ana? And after dark too." "I just walking home from Daddy's. I didn't think anything would happen." "But something did happen. You were attacked, Anastasia. Don't you get it? It's just simply not safe out there; particularly in that area. It's infamous for this gang. You've probably never heard of them, but they're called the Dollars, and they're dangerous." "Uh, right…." I inwardly cringed at the irony of it all. Mr. Gorgeous tisked softly and planted his hands on his hips.

"Why are you telling her this? No gang you name is going to mean anything to her." We both blinked over to Mr. Gorgeous, who was very unimpressed with Paul's behavior up until now; I could read it in his face. Paul immediately straightened and the two men studied each other for a second. I sat in between them quiet for a moment, gazing back and forth at one another. Paul's frown was equally unimpressed as Mr. Gorgeous's.

"Who are you?" "I'm the man who stopped the assault," Mr. Gorgeous didn't skip a beat, keeping his face firm and fixed. Paul's expression followed suit. "Have you made a statement?" "Yes." "Good, then you can leave. I'll take care of things from here," Paul didn't hide the venom in his tone. I have no clue why these guys seemed to automatically hate each other; they didn't even know the other at all. Oh man, the look on Mr. Gorgeous's face just now….. He's not going anywhere.

Paul also saw the determination in Mr. Gorgeous's eyes. But before my savior could get in a word, Paul reached down to yank up my hand. "Come on, Ana. We're going to the hospital." "Uh! Um! W-wait! Wait a minute, Paul!" I struggled- in vain- to free myself from his iron-clad grasp. I also thought Mr. Gorgeous's head was going to explode.

We were stopped within seconds by the office door sliding open once more. One of the previous cops- the older gentleman- entered, blinking rather confused at the scene. "Uh, detective?" He asked Paul; he was holding the cup of water Mr. Gorgeous asked them to get me. Is it wise for the daughter of a mob lord to have a police detective as a close friend? Probably not, but I trusted Paul; that, and he clearly didn't know anything. Paul scowled and motioned to Mr. Gorgeous with his shoulder, not even looking back at the man.

"He's filed a statement. See him out, please." "I… I don't understand; I thought we were supposed to send a copy of the report to his lawyer? And here's your water by the way, Miss Steele," with a friendly smile, he handed me the cup. "Thank you," I grinned thankfully back at him. All eyes shifted from me back onto Paul, who still had my other hand in his. "Um, where are you going with Miss Steele? Aren't we taking her to the hospital?" "That's what I'm doing, Jones. She's had a long night; I don't want her to wait longer. So if you excuse us….."

"What?! You're not going, are you? We need your help with the report, Clayton. Let Doyle take her; you need to stay here." "But I…" "I don't like being ordered around, detective Clayton," with his arms securely at his sides, Mr. Gorgeous came over to stand with us; he and Paul were glaring daggers. I wonder if this is a macho thing. Kind of like a male show-off? But if so, why here and why now? Didn't make sense to me. Or maybe I had it totally wrong- who knows.

"You take orders from police in a police station, "sir"," Paul emphasized his "sir". Oh gees, Paul; can't we be mature about this? I mean we're all grownups here. If looks could kill….. Mr. Gorgeous was not having any of this either. "I have the right to leave when I think it is appropriate to do so. I will go after I see Miss Steele off to the hospital safely." "I can do that. There's no reason for you to stay." "So wait? Should I warm up the wagon to go then?" Officer Doyle raised his hand up a little. Uh, weren't all of these guys forgetting about something? Namely what I thought of the situation; I am the party they are wasting time arguing about, after all. Plus I didn't think there was anything wrong with me really; I was just really, really tired.

"Or I could just go home?" "No," I was immediately shot down by all males in the room. Oh boy, this was something like out of a novel; it was getting so ridiculous. They all somehow forgot that I'm a twenty-eight year old woman; not a eight year old child. But this was the Victorian era, after all; insert inward eye roll. "Don't worry, I'll take Miss Steele. Come with me, dear," Officer Doyle then grinned back at me. "But…." "Go with him, Ana." "Yes, and do whatever the doctors prescribe." Oh look, they're finally agreeing on something. But I knew this harmony was not to last. Then again, maybe it didn't matter; I'd likely never see Mr. Gorgeous again after tonight. The idea made my lips part open a sliver. That's right; I'll walk outside this room and never see him again…. My savoir- the Adonis with the stunning sapphire eyes.

"Thank you again, sir," my mouth said without my brain's permission. When he didn't say anything to this, electing instead to watch me incredulously, my smile simply grew. Don't worry, Mr. Gorgeous. "Thank you for saving me tonight." I don't know your name, but I won't forget you. You or your beautiful, blue eyes.


	5. Ready or Not

"I'm telling you, Ana; Paul likes you." "No, he doesn't." "Yes, he does. It's so obvious to everyone." Kate and I were currently in Lush. I… I don't know; I'd been in this weird funk for the last couple of days. Nothing turned up at the hospital, thank goodness. But I still wasn't feeling completely one hundred percent yet. I don't think it was the attack either; well that might have had something to do with it. But…. _"Either you succeed me or marry the man who does."_

No matter what I did, Daddy's words kept ringing through my head. They're the whole reason I started running that night in the first place…. Most daughters- especially adult ones- could probably just move far away and that would be the end of it. But my situation was different. Daddy was powerful; very powerful. And he usually got what he wanted- and that was me safe in the best way he saw fit. There was no room for my thoughts on the matter…. No room at all.

I had to give my head a hard shake, as if physically attempting to banish it all from my mind. "Ana? You ok?" Kate looked over to me with concern. She was always there for me, even though she too had to be kept in the dark. "Y-yeah, I'm fine." I told her that I ran into Paul the other night; I just omitted the whole police station part. Whenever I got into a weird funk like this, we went to my favorite shop in the whole world together- Lush. I'd pick out something sweet-smelling or that would make my skin soft. Something, anything to remind me that life can be good, and I can feel good. That I'm allowed to feel good….. I had to stop my bottom lip from quivering, or I would have burst out into tears in the middle of the store.

"Face it, Ana. Paul's has a thing for you." "He's the one who rejected me, remember?" Good, let's talk about something else; anything else….. "That was back in high school; he's different now. Things have changed. Hey! What do you think of this scent?" She sprayed some Amelie Mae perfume in the air. "Nice," I grinned and reached for Vanillary body spray. Ah yes; vanilla is such a nostalgic, warm scent- just what I need right now.

"Looking for something to wear to your interview on Monday?" Kate asked me, still busy testing out perfumes. "Not really. I just wanted… to come here; get something new." New and comforting. "Ah, it doesn't it matter; I think you'll get it. You're perfect for the job, though I don't know why they want PhD candidates for interns. You seem really overqualified, but who cares! I heard Christian Grey pays his interns and really well." "Grey…..?" This made me pause for a second. Where have I heard that before? I can't put my finger on it, but that name sounds familiar….

I was about to reply until the silent buzzing of my other phone interrupted me. I had two phones; one personal and one….. for the Dollars. It was an old flip phone; one that couldn't be traced to me if I lost it. Oh, now what do they want? "Um, I'm gonna go look at the bath bombs, Kate!" I was instructed to answer the phone in public whenever possible; makes it look less suspicious than me slinking away somewhere. With a double-check to make sure Kate was still at the perfumes, I quickly pulled out the phone to answer it.

"What?" "Celestial?" That was my code name. Daddy let me pick it; course I chose something from Lush. It was a precaution just in case our phones ever got tapped- no names over phone calls, ever. "Hi, Hound," I sighed. "We're having a family dinner at Versailles tomorrow night. Masterpiece wants you present." That was all code; I'm sure it's not that hard to decipher. "Alright, I'll be there," there's no refusing Daddy. Jerome hung up without another word. I pulled my phone back from my ear, staring at the blank screen for a minute. I don't even have to remind myself; they do that enough for me… Daddy's right; my fate's sealed. Unless I can think of something- perhaps a miracle- my destiny's already been decided.

With a deep, deep breath in, I shoved my phone back into my pocket before Kate could see. She came over to me with her perfume and my Vanillary in her hands. She was smiling so warmly at me, so kind… "Ready to go?" "Yeah." Whether I like it or not, yeah….. I had to be.

_There is only one woman I can love; my heart won't even let me consider another. Long, brown hair, a slender figure, and pale skin….. I don't know what she looks like otherwise or who she is, but I will find her; that's what I've told myself for years. No matter how long it takes…. _

_I'm going to find the woman who bled for me, and I'm going to marry her._


	6. The Sacrificial Cost

"Ok, Masterpiece. I'll be right over after my appointment." "Don't worry, Celestial. It'll be fine," Daddy tried to sound as uplifting as he could. "I'll see you later," I said quickly before hanging up. He was so sure everything would be ok; I however….

What is it like to be a damaged person? Like physically damaged beyond repair? I hope that's not my case. But I have no one else to blame but myself if it is. I'm the one who got in the way of the knife; I'm the one who made a choice. It wasn't me they wanted to stab… I'm the one who got in their way. I probably saved that guy's life, since they were aiming at the chest… I guess that's worth whatever cost it inflicts on me. They didn't stab my chest…. They pieced somewhere else.

"The doctor will see you now, Miss Steele," I had an appointment with the gynecologist at the hospital. I was rushed here half a year ago when something fell out of me… something big and fleshy; I won't get into gross details. I saw down on the medical bench and anxiously waited. The doctor- male- came in; he was not smiling.

After some small talk and questions from him, he stared down at his clipboard for a long time. Eventually he made himself look up at me, reluctantly meeting my gaze. "We've found the reason you haven't had your period in almost a year, Miss Steele; and why you had that discharge last summer," he sounded…. he sounded….. His mouth opened but nothing came out for a second; his eyes had to shift away from mine. "We can help with the discharge but…. after reviewing your x-rays…. Your womb is damaged beyond repair." The next three seconds were some of the hardest in my life. He looked at me with the most sympathetic of stares. "I'm sorry, Miss Steele; you won't be able to have children."

My eyes moved on their own accord as the world me grew deafless. I felt like I was sinking into a white abyss. Empty, bloodless, devoid…. I knew. This only confirmed what I already knew deep down. Funny…. The knife had to hit me in just the exact spot. It was a big, jaded blade; it did a number on me. My lips started to quiver; my body began to tremble uncontrollably. No kids…. I'll never get pregnant or give birth; I'll never be able to give a man children. The Ray family line stops with me…. Tears unconsciously swelled up in the corners of my eyes.

There's no one to blame but myself. I made the choice; I'm fully responsible for it. I chose to run in front of the knife…. And now I have to live with the consequences. Still, it's better than an innocent man dying, but…. Actions have consequences, kids; real life isn't like the movies. If you choose to jump in front of a knife, bullet, car, whatever- that action has consequences you'll have to bear. The man I saved will never thank me or know what I sacrificed for him. But then, I never thought getting stabbed would make me infertile….. I just wanted to save him; that's all that went through my mind at the time. Yes, I had a choice- to either do something or nothing. So I did something, and this is what happened. I'd do it all over again in a second, but man…. A teardrop dripped onto my leg. What a price I have to pay for my choice….

The doctor waited for a minute before breaking the harsh silence. "Are you alright, Miss Steele?" I didn't respond, continuing to stare out into the void in front of me. Yes, the deep, long void in front of me….. "I'll give you some information for our clinic's support group. And I can recommend a couple of therapists we have here." "T-th… thank you," I managed a whisper. His eyes softened upon me; we both expected but didn't want to believe… I remember peering out of the window while he wrote up the stuff for me. There were a few birds fluttering around and playing in the nearby tree. They looked so happy, so free…. What could I give the world now except myself? Whatever I could make and do with my brain and hands? That's all I could give now….. My eyes lowered gently onto the gleeful birds. I guess the world would have to be satisfied with that. The world and I…..


	7. Jack Hyde Saw Me, And Knew

_Guilt; overwhelming guilt. I should have died; that knife should have killed me…. _

_And every time I look at a brown-haired girl, I can't help but think what it must have done to her. _

"What's wrong, sweetheart? You've haven't said a word all night!" Daddy roughly patted my back. He and the other gang members were having a grand old time. I didn't respond, instead looking at the untouched dessert out in front of me. Daddy gave it second before his expression morphed to one of concern. "Wait… nothing happened at the doctor's did it? It's not anything bad, right?" My lips opened a sliver as my mind went blank for a moment. Oh god…. "I… I don't want to talk about it right now." "Ah, sugar! Don't worry; everything will be fine! It always is." You mean most of the time…. I can't stand this…. I can't.

Daddy blinked over to me as I quite suddenly got up from my chair. With no second glance to him or anyone else in the room, I turned to head for the door. I went to the bathroom where I could wash my wash. Ok, Ana- I thought gazing up at my reflection in the mirror. You need to get it together; you've had a rough couple of days, but you've still got an interview on Monday. Please, please just try and get a hold of yourself. Wait until after Monday, then you can do all the crying you need to. Just please… please….

I was sweating so much that I lifted off my shirt for a moment. My eyes unintentionally scrolled to the scar on my lower belly; it was big but faded by now. My bottom lip couldn't help but tremble at the sight; my stare locked onto it in the mirror. _"I'm sorry, Miss Steele; you won't be able to have children."_ I didn't even think in that second; those words echoed in the hollow chamber that was my mind on repeat. Though I tried, tears began to drip down both my cheeks. I just stood there motionless, staring at the scar in my reflection.

When I finally emerged some time later, my vision was still a little blurry from the tears. Needless to say, my mind was now full; too full. Daddy telling me that I would succeed him, the attack, going to the police station and hospital in the same night, finding out I'm infertile…. It was too much; much too much in this short amount of time. I needed things to change, I couldn't keep on like this. Why…. what did I ever do to deserve all this? I suddenly remembered being pinned on the ground and sat on that night. I remember what thoughts ran through my head then….. _I deserve better- I deserve a life._ Isn't that still true? Can't I have at least a little say in my own future? I can't have kids…. and I can't run away from the mob. What can I control? What do I deserve? Isn't it better than this?

"Why are you crying?" I was so lost in my own mind that I failed to notice anything going on around me. My eyes rapidly blinked and I was almost surprised to find myself in the side of a long hallway; my hand was pressed up against the wall- I guess I had stopped walking at some point. I was alone, or at least it appeared that way for the first few seconds. My head slowly spun around to see an unfamiliar man standing behind me. He was roughly my age, tall, pale, and thin. He was fairly handsome, but nothing to write home about. His hands were buried in his jean pockets; I already knew he wasn't one of the Dollars by the way he was dressed. But wait. If he wasn't one of Daddy's gang, what was he doing in the Dollars' manor. He merely approached me, not taking his solemn, dark brown eyes off mine.

"U-uh…. uh… oh, sorry! I didn't realize I was crying," I quickly wiped my eyes with my sleeve. His stoic expression didn't change. "You're that sad," he said this with such sincerity and keen observation that I had to stare at him dumbfounded. Yeah, I was… but I didn't expect him to pick up on that so swiftly. We don't even know each other….

"Um, well; I guess I am… a little." His gaze just sharpened down upon me. Gees, this guy was intense; it was like he was studying me or something. "I see….. You've been in pain for some time now, and you have the scar to prove it." Whoa! Talk about a left-turn in a conversation, if you could even call it that. Who is this guy? If he's not a Dollar, then who is he? A prospective member, perhaps? But that doesn't explain why he's able to read me so well. I wasn't that obvious, was I? No, I would know…. right?

Seeing my startled reaction, this mystery man softened his stance a bit; though his gaze didn't grow less intense. "My name is Jack Hyde. I am here visiting your father, Ray." "Jack? Uh, nice to meet you. Daddy didn't tell me we were having visitors tonight," no need for me to introduce myself; if he knew who Daddy was, then he knew I existed. "Let's call my arrival a "pleasant surprise". You must be Miss Anastasia Steele- the mob princess." I hated that label; ever have since I was a child. But Daddy loved it, so I had to grin and bear it. That's exactly what I did now; I forced a small, polite grin and nodded my head. "Yep, that's me."

Jack didn't respond right away, instead electing to watch me again. It was a little weird, but I decided not to address it. There was something about this guy… I couldn't put my finger on it, but he felt off to me. Maybe "off" isn't the right way to describe it; more like dangerous… It's like… I'm sure this man could be dangerous if he wanted to be. I'd met people like that before and I never got truly comfortable around them; always felt like a ticking-clock situation. I hope that wasn't the case with Jack.

It was the oddest thing. After staring at me for a long- uncomfortably long in my opinion- moment, he out of nowhere spun right around to head down the opposite way of the hall. Before leaving, he paused to peer back at me over his shoulder. "Do not worry. You may be in pain right now, princess. But life is about to get very good for you; I'm sure you'll be happier than you've ever been, despite everything." "Huh? W-what are you… talking about? How do you… know that?" My hand instinctively rose up to my chest. His eyes glossed over with this knowing apathy- all directed at me. "Well there is always a calm before the storm." "W-what do you mean by that?" Calm before the storm? What storm? And what calm is he talking about? Just who is he? And why do I feel like he doesn't have the best intentions towards me? He's not even a Dollar….. yet.

His eyes simply, effortlessly lowered onto mine; it was eerie how little effort he put into his significant expression. "We'll meet again, princess; I'm sure of it. Though it may not be for a while, I'll remember you… I'll remember."


	8. Interview with Mr Gorgeous

_How does one find a faceless angel?_

In the end, I gave into myself and spent the weekend crying in bed. I didn't even go out to buy food; all I did was cry. No preparing for my interview, no showering, no doing laundry- nothing. Eventually I got up, cleaned, dressed, ate, and ready to go come Monday morning. I went from looking haggard to very lovely and professional. And most surprising of all, I actually felt a little better! Who knew that sobbing nonstop would actually help things? I still wasn't back to normal yet, but much better today; at least I looked better.

My phone alarm looked went off and I got ready to go to Grey Enterprises. I walked from my apartment to downtown; it wasn't hard to find the big, tall, grey building. Mr. Grey's office was on the eighth floor, not that I'd be meeting him. This was an intern position for PhD candidates; it didn't make sense for me to meet the owner of the company for something like this. Besides, I didn't know who Mr. grey was; probably some old, rich man.

I came through the front door, only to immediately meet a receptionist. Admittedly I was a bit intimidated by this whole business setting; this wasn't my realm. I'm an academic above all else; and I do mean all else. The man- yes, it was a man- smiled up at me warmly. "Hello, love." "Hello. I have an interview with Grey Enterprises." "The internship?" "Yes." "What's your name?" "Anastasia Steele." "Anastasia….." He typed something into the computer, then gazed back up at me.

"There are you. Yes, please come with me," the receptionist got up and led me towards the elevator. He unlocked it with his key card and held his hand out for me to enter; I was surprised to see him press the eighth floor. Ok… Maybe I'm being interviewed by Mr. Grey's personal assistance. The receptionist escorted me upstairs, holding every door open for me. I was equally as surprised to find that Grey Enterprises was full of men and some women; women were definitely the minority, and the ones who were there were all blonde. Mmmmmm, I wonder if this is a warning sign; maybe Mr. Grey is a misogynist and bigot. Maybe I don't want to meet him…. He probably wouldn't like someone super progressive and educated like me.

Irony: the moment I thought this, the receptionist led me to these two giant steel doors with the label "Christian Grey, CEO" beside it. Whoa! Wait a minute! What are we doing here? The receptionist just grinned back at me before opening the door. "Good luck," he said before opening one of the doors for me. Oh…. oh boy… oh no, nope! I'm not ready for this! I've never met anyone like Christian Grey; there a huge difference between a godfather and billionaire CEO- the biggest being that one can sue you up shit creek and the other can toss your wacked body in it. I was much more familiar with the latter kind. But this….

Remembering to breathe and realizing that I was supposed to go inside, I hesitantly made my feet move in front of each other. When I was finally in, the door slammed behind me. I spun around to see it now shut, making me understand that I was now alone in a billionaire's office. It took all my willpower to spin back and see Mr. Grey for the first time. And while my jaw dropped stunned, he simply smiled.

Mr…. Mr. Gorgeous?! I couldn't believe my eyes. Here I was, standing across from Mr. Gorgeous again! The same Mr. Gorgeous from the police station; the one who rescued me! The one who had a manly clash with Paul….. uh oh. "Mr. Gor-…. Mr. Grey!" I had to automatically correct myself. "It's good to see you again, Miss Steele," he spoke with such sincerity and kindness… "Wh-… um… how… wha-…." I was so stunned, I couldn't even formulate a sentence. This seemed to amuse him slightly.

"How did everything go at the hospital?" Hospital? "Huh? Oh! Uh, fine! No concussion or anything." "You're ok?" "Y-yes," well, as ok as I'm going to be now; this is my new normal, I guess. He appeared relieved a bit; huh, was not expecting that. Then he held out his hand toward the white couches in front of his long desk. I sat down on one and he sat opposite me. Well, it wasn't as awkward now but still, I wasn't sure what to say or do. He just leaned back and kept his gorgeous eyes onto me.

"So, you are a PhD candidate? Was uninformed of that at the police station." "Uh, y-yes; I'm a PhD in literature." "Literature? You want to be author?" He perked up a bit. "Oh, yes; I was a born writer. I'm currently working with fiction; specifically learning from fiction." "That's very interesting, and difficult. You must be smart." "Oh! No, I wouldn't say that," my head gave a little shy shake. "You have an MSc in philosophy," he wasn't convinced. "Erm, well…. I'm not dumb, I suppose," I shrugged, still embarrassed. "That's obvious." Awe, that made me grin at him.

"Why did you apply for the internship here, Miss Steele?" Ok, full-on interview time; I can do this. "Experience, and the money would be nice before I start my studies. I'm a full-time student, so I'll be teaching undergrad while doing my research. This will be good experience before that." "You'll be teaching?" He rubbed his finger under his lip ponderingly. "Just first year philosophy and fiction courses. I really want to teach children's fiction." "Why that?" "I love fairy tales, fables, anything like that." "Interesting…"

A natural pause fell over us. I waited for Mr. Grey to say something, and he- a little later. He was clearly thinking, considering to himself; keeping his finger rubbing back and forth. Gave me the opportunity to ogle at his beauty- seriously, he was like a living Greek god. At least in my eyes. Finally, he smiled- a knowing, clever smile.

"I've read your masters and honours dissertations. You are very good." "You… you what?!" He did what?! Well, technically he didn't do anything wrong, but still! Who reads a dissertation for an internship interview? Once again, Mr. Grey seemed delighted with my shocked reaction. "Forgive my ignorance but… this is standard practice, sir?" He looked at me for a second before chuckling very softly. "No. I just read yours." "Uhhhhhhhhhhh?" What? Just… what? Am I supposed to be this confused? Was this a nefarious plan or something? I didn't… understand at all. And yet, Mr. Grey looked to be totally comfortable right now. His grin grew firm and serious; the same expression I saw in the police office.

"I admire your fortitude, Miss Steele. But I recall instructing you take your time recovering from your traumatic experience last week." This… this caught me off-guard. Was he allowed to talk to me like that? It didn't help matters that I was naturally submissive; I am not dominate or confrontation at all. That's what happens when you grow up surrounded by a sea of powerful, deadly men. You learn to obey without question….. expect in the case of my father and the succession; I knew he wouldn't kill me if I said no. I was a princess, but I was under no illusion- I knew how controlled I was. And… I actually had a thing for strong, dominate men too. But I can't let that get in the way now! Ok, focus- you can be professional, Ana. Just answer the questions honestly and to the best of your ability. Mr. Grey observed me straighten up, clasp my hands on my lap, and grin politely at him.

"I appreciate your concern, Mr. Grey; but I'm alright, honestly. Nothing came up at the hospital." "I know." "What?" I blinked, surprised for like the millionth time this afternoon. His beautiful eyes sharpened onto mine. "I got a copy of the hospital's report." "Wha-….. why would you…?" "My lawyer is representing you. I would ensure that those thugs get more time if you were hurt; we would use the report as evidence in that case." "Oh… I see," my gaze began to wander. I guess that makes sense… This world of legitimate money and lawyers was still so foreign to me. Mobs don't have lawyers; they have hitmen.

This CEO analyzed me for another moment before leaning forward and planting his arms on his legs- the "serious" position. "Alright, here's what going to happen, Miss Steele. You're going to go home and take the rest of the week off. You're going to report here directly to me next Monday; I'll have my secretary send over the contract." "Uh….. w-wait, does this mean… I've got the internship?" He grinned and nodded; looking brilliant as he did so. "Really?! But wait, like… isn't there… I've never been interviewed for an internship before, but I thought there'd be more of a process." "Well, if I didn't hire you, I would be out an intern." "Huh?" And his smile grew…. He smiled at me. "I've cancelled all other interviews. You are my last." "W-why would you do that?" I didn't understand…

"When I saw your name on the prospective internship list, I deleted the rest. You have on key advantage above the others, Miss Steele. We've already met, and I knew when I saw… I already knew."


	9. I Want Him Near

I sat at my desk, passively watching an HBO documentary on Elizabeth Homes. I say "watching" loosely. My mind was currently on my new job…. and boss. What am I going to do? I thought while nibbling on my thumbnail. How am I going to tell Daddy I got the internship?... How am I going to tell him I can't have kids?

My eyes scrolled out of my window; it was dark out- getting late. I wonder what Mr. Grey will have me do? What does a CEO need a PhD candidate for anyway? Ah, who cares; it's money and I won't be there long. I'm sure it won't be horrible…. hopefully. I think I liked who Mr. Grey was. Sure, he was hot and rich, but that combo is nothing new to me. But I liked his character…. He seemed to genuinely care for me, even if he was a little overprotective.

My train of thought was broken by my phone buzzing on my desk. Curious, I checked to find a message from Paul. [Paul: Come outside. I'm at your place] Huh! Well what do you know? This was so like Paul; he wasn't into formalities. [Ana: K, coming] I threw my phone onto my bed, grabbed my keys, and headed downstairs. Paul was waiting for me right outside my front door; his hands buried in his pockets and his jacket open. He looked at me, though didn't smile.

"Hi, Paul. What's up?" "What happened at the hospital?" "Uh…? Oh, right! Nothing; no, I'm fine," that was the second time that tricked me up today. I don't know if I'd ever tell him about my condition; it's very, very personal. "You sure?" He pressed. Why wouldn't I be sure? It was my body, after all. "Yes." "Good- here," I blinked astonished as my friend proceeded to hand me this weird, black, brick-like thing. I wasn't quite sure what it was at first sight. When I didn't take it, he gave it a small jiggle.

"It's a taser; I want you to carry it at all times." "A… taser? Don't you need like a permit to carry one of these?" "Don't worry about that. We had some at the office; everyone knows who's getting it. Just take it; take it and keep on your personal always, ok?" "Uhhhhhhhh, ok? Thank you," I finally took it; was heavier than expected. "Keep it, but don't get yourself in a situation where you need to use it, understand?" "I understand," my hands lowered, and I flashed him a grateful smile. Of course, he didn't mirror my expression; I think "stoic" was Paul's default mode.

He stared at me for another moment before tisking and giving his head a shake; his eyes scrolled off in the distance for a second. "Are you really alright, Ana?" "Yes, Paul; I'm perfectly ok." "Don't do that again." "Do what?" That was a stupid question. Paul just turned back to me, meeting my puzzled gaze. "Don't scare me like that." Oh! Maybe it wasn't a stupid question. When I didn't reply, he let out a sigh, running the palm of his hand over his face. "I nearly had a heart attack when I heard. You're driving me crazy…."

Paul… My lips parted the tiniest bit. _"I'm telling you, Ana; Paul likes you. It's so obvious to everyone."_ Could she be right? Could Paul actually have a thing for me? But…. no. He always acted so serious and mad with me; I was more like a nuisance than a crush to him. He couldn't possibly like me like that; I would know…. I think I would know.

"Thank you, Paul, for this. I promise to keep it on me, but I'll try my best to not be in a senecio where I have to use it," I grinned over at him. This man…. Paul, my friend; even if he didn't like me that way, he was still precious to me. He was a loyal, close friend; I could trust him… Well, with almost anything, anyway. This precious fellow just blinked back to me with an aura of confliction; I think he was debating whether he should stay longer or not. With one last head shake, he sighed deeply.

"I have to get back to work; this is technically my break." "You're on break now?!" I gasped. He came all this way from the station just to give me a taser? Awe, that's so sweet; so….. out of character for him. No, that's wrong; Paul was always sweet- just in his own, unique "Paul" way. He didn't smile much but he didn't have to; I knew he cared. Everyone did.

"I'm heading back. Remember your promise, alright?" "I will; thanks again." "No need. Now go back inside; don't forget to lock your door." Oh god, why did I have to be attracted to dominate men? It made me melt inside when he said stuff like that, though it wasn't at all romantic in his eyes. "Ok! Have a safe night," I waved at him as he took off down the street. When he was gone, I smiled down at the taser in my hand. Yes, Paul is kind… he is a good friend to me. If friends are all he wants to be, I'm alright with that; just so long as he stays nearby. I want him near me….. I don't care how; I just want him in my life.


	10. First Day

I sprayed on some Vanillary and headed off to my first day. Just like before, the receptionist escorted me up to the eighth floor and I went straight to Mr. Grey's office. After a couple of knocks on the door, it opened from the inside. Mr. Grey was there, grinning welcomingly and holding out his hand to the interior. "Good morning, Miss Steele. Please come in." "Good morning, Mr. Grey," I did as instructed and went to stand right in the middle; I didn't know where he wanted me just yet. He shut the door and came to take my backpack from my arms. He set it down beside the white couch where he had interviewed me. Our eyes met and we smiled at one another.

"Did you have a restful week?" "I did; thank you, sir." "Good; I'm going to need your undivided attention." "Yes, sir." "My secretary, Jason Taylor, will be here any minute with your new key card and laptop." "Laptop? Sorry, sir; did you say laptop?" Mr. Grey blinked over to me perplexed. "What else would you work on?" "Um, ok; I assume it's a company laptop, then?" He chuckled. "It's a laptop, Miss Steele; it's like a pen or office cup to me. It's yours; you keep it indefinitely." "Mr. Grey!" I gasped incredulously. "Think of it as a welcoming gift. Besides, you're a student; you'll need material for your research and writing." Well, yeah but still…. My hand slowly lifted up to my chest as I continued to stare his way. This man….. I wish he was easier to read. I found myself wandering, searching behind those deep blue eyes of his; trying to decipher what they hid down inside. And what's more- I think he liked the way I studied him just now.

"Mr. Grey?" I jumped a little at his office door opening. We turned to see this older man entering; he was probably in his early to mid-thirties. "Ah, Taylor. Miss Steele, this is my secretary, Jason Taylor," Mr. Grey motioned me to come closer. I did so and Mr. Taylor stuck out his hand. I shook it, smiling over at him. "Pleased to meet you, Miss Steele." "Likewise, Mr. Taylor." "Ugh, Mr. Taylor is my father. Call me Jason," his grin widened. Jason… huh, I think I liked him too. You could see by the way he and Mr. Grey acted with one another that they were fairly close; at least in the business sense. Jason then gave me a pink macbook and key card on a pink necklace. Huh, lots of pink… It's my favorite color but how did Mr. Grey know that?

As if reading my face, the lines on Mr. Grey's face relaxed. "All my office equipment is pink; well, the laptops, pens, and stuff like that." This revelation made me blink up at him again. That's…. a weird choice. Why pink? Your name is literally "grey"; isn't that a more serious color? "Christian has this thing with the color pink," Jason chimed in, realizing that this needed explanation. "You do?" "It's my favorite color," Mr. Grey nodded. "Oh! That's… different. Don't get me wrong! It's a brilliant color; it's my favorite, in fact. It's just…. uh….." What am I saying? It's just a color; there's nothing weird about that. Both men observed me give a little head toss and grin back at Mr. Grey.

"Thank you for the laptop, sir," nice save, Ana! "Taylor will buy you a cover this afternoon. I'm sure you can take care of it until then." "I will, sir. Thank you." That's when I saw Jason give Mr. Grey a side-grin. "She's polite, this one." Mr. Grey responded with one of those "looks" before turning back to me. "I have some reports I want you to look over. I took the liberty of going over your transcript." He what? How much access to my personal information did this guy have?! Uh oh…. Wait a minute, that could be bad. What if he accidently discovers that Daddy is head of the Dollars?

"Miss Steele?" "Yes! Sorry! Sorry, please continue." He eyed me for a short moment until he decided I was paying enough attention to keep going. "I saw you took some logic courses." "Uh, yes; in undergrad and masters. Nothing too advanced though," logic's not really my strong point. "You have enough experience. I want you to look over the structure of these reports; don't pay attention to the content. Just write up some logic equations to discover if they add up. Use Boolean algebra if you have to."

Wow! How does Mr. Grey know so much about philosophical and mathematical logic formulas? Formulas were actually one part of logic I really enjoyed; I was that loser that would do all the logic problems in the textbook for fun. That being said, I knew how to convert sentences into equations but wasn't really good at it; once again, I'm going into fiction- not math or logic. Still, I was admittedly excited to have such a task on my first day; I'd just get some fellow students to check them over once I was done.

"Yes, sir!" I happily took the reports he was now holding out for me. Both he and Jason grinned at the unexpected delight in my face, then the latter gazed to the former. "Where is she going to work?" "Find her an office space nearby; I want her close to me." This made me almost accidently drop the content in my arms. Their heads turned to me alarmed, but I pretended not to notice continuing to scan over the files. They waited a horrible second before carrying on; I nearly wished the floor would open and swallow me up. Get it together, Ana! He didn't mean anything by that; you're is intern- that's why he wants you um… close.

"Alright, I'll find somewhere. She can work in my office until then." "Thanks, Taylor. Now I need you to help me send this presentation before this afternoon's conference. Miss Steele?" My head shot up to see them staring my way again. Gees! I don't think I'll ever get used to that. Then, like they had the most perfect timing in the world, my phone began to ring; but not my regular phone. The buzzing in my bag almost killed me. Both Mr. Grey and Jason blinked down to my bag, then the pink phone currently sticking out of my pocket and not buzzing. Boy, did they look confused…..

"Is that… your phone, Miss Steele?" Mr. Grey pointed to my backpack. Oh god, I want to die. "Um! That's my…. iPad," it was not my iPad- that was the first thing I could think of. This didn't help their confusion. "J-just ignore that, sir. I'm sure it's nothing important." "Well, if you're sure. Then would you mind fetching us some coffee, Miss Steele?" "Coffee?! Sure, yes, right! Uh…." They simply and silently watched as I ran to grab my bag. I had to force myself to smile back at them while I then headed to the door. "I'll be right back!" "No sugar in mine!" Jason hollered after me just in time before the door shut. I drew in a long, deep breath and shut my eyes once securely outside in the hall. God dammit! No matter where I go or what I do, they just won't leave me alone. They're always there with me- always.

_Pink…. I used to detest the color. I did everything to avoid it as a child. Then I saw that she had on a pink hoodie. She wore pink- my faceless angel. _

_I saw her in pink, and it suddenly became my favorite color. _


	11. The Horrid Elena Lincoln

["Something the matter, Clayton? You seem distracted today," the chief officer asked Paul, who was currently sitting at his desk with his chin resting in his folded hands. "It's Ana; I'm still a bit worried about her." "Ana? Oh, the Steele girl! The hot one." "No! You can't call her that," Paul fired back defensively. "Right; not in front of you." "Not ever!"

"Jesus, what's the deal with you, Clayton? You gave her the taser, right?" "Yeah, but I don't know how helpful it'll be….." Paul gazed down at his hands. "I don't know what you're so worried about. She's a grown woman; not some teenager." "It's just….. the Dollars have been acting up lately. Incidents have been happening near her neighbourhood." "So? She'll call if she has any problems." "She did have a problem, and no, she didn't call," Paul countered unimpressed. The chief frowned, rolling his eyes exasperated. "Ok, if you're so worried about it, we can think of something else. I don't understand why you're bothering so much though; she's isn't even your girlfriend." "No, she's not! But that doesn't matter- I want her safe. Period."]

God, Ana; you are such an idiot. I kept scolding myself the whole way to the break room. Why did I bring that phone? Ok, I know why but seriously! I'm an adult- I don't need to be constantly babysat. Ugh! And they're not even checking in on me; they probably want something. Man! I didn't even want to imagine being their boss….. or being married to their boss.

There was only one other person when I got there; one of the blonde women. This one was a bit older than me and very well-dressed; I looked like a fashion-inept troll compared to her. She was currently sipping on a cup of something- probably coffee- and checking her phone, only glancing up to me when I entered. I tossed my backpack on a chair and turned to the coffee machine. Of course, as if to make things worse, it had to be the most complicated coffee-maker in the universe. Oh god lord, I don't know how to make coffee; I'm a tea-drinker. Could this get any worse right now? "That's the "on" button." I blinked over to the woman who was currently smirking sinisterly at me. I had to ask…

"Uh, thanks; I think I can figure it out," I quickly gazed back to the machine, trying my best to not make the situation any more awkward than it already was. "Who are you?" She had to keep pushing… "Anastasia Steele; the new intern." "Mmmmm," she had the audacity to scan me once over in the most judgement fashion. The ugliest smirk rolled across her red-lipstick mouth. "Boy, he'll hire anyone these days."

"Excuse me?" This earned a sharp glare from me. I could already tell this woman was horrible; pretty on the outside, ugly inside. Your typical office drama queen. "Listen, you're new here, so I'm gonna share a little tip with you." "No, thank you; I can manage," I really didn't want to keep "talking" to her. "Oh, sweetheart; you're not going to get anywhere here with that attitude." "Well, it's a good thing I'm staying in the academic world. I'm just here until I start PhD."

"Mmmmmmm, an educated girl, I see." "Yep!" Come on, coffee; brew faster! "Then you're obviously smart enough to see that Mr. Grey isn't into little women like you." Oh…. oh boy; here we go. I had to look at her by now; she was wearing the most punchable expression. "What?" "I'm sure you've noticed by now. You stick out like a sore thumb here. Don't get me wrong; sore thumbs can be attractive in the right setting too. But dear, your brown hair, your clothes…. Oh well. I'm sure he hired you on because you're not permanent. Don't worry about sticking out in your cute, little way, dear." Cute? Did she just call me cute?

"Um, ma'am; I'm pretty sure Mr. Grey hired me because I'm a PhD student. My education is extensive… and valuable. If you mean "sticking out" in that regard, well I understand." Her smug grin began to fade; I think she was used to being the unchallenged bully around here. Her stupid arms crossed over her ugly grey blouse; she gave her stupid blonde hair a little toss.

"Oh no, love; it looks like you misunderstood me. Your education- however extensive it may be- doesn't make you more valuable around here. You're just an intern; a temporary position." "If education doesn't matter, why did Mr. Grey only interview PhD candidates?" She was full-on scowling by now. "It really wouldn't be wise to act smart around here, darling. Some people might think you have a high opinion of yourself." "If being well-educated means have a healthy confidence, then yes. You're absolutely right, ma'am."

She didn't respond right away, glaring daggers my way. Yeah, I don't think she was used to dealing with people like me. "Well, I'm sure there's nothing to worry about. Mr. Grey will have his time with you, and then you'll be off. No worry at all, really." You know, if I didn't know any better, I'd say she was threatened by me; which was ridiculous. I literally just got here today. The only way she'd be jealous is if Mr. Grey said something about me before….. wait. He didn't… did he?

"Once again, you're right; I will be leaving soon," thank goodness- I definitely was not made for this corporate world. "Oh, you are precious. Maybe Christian just wants something new to "light" up the office for the summer." "Could be," thankfully the coffee was done brewing by now. I poured it into two cups and went to get the milk from the fridge; you put milk in coffee, right? "Best not to get attached, dear. He'll forget about you soon enough; he always does with "little" employees like you."

Ok, I've had enough of her. I reached for the cups before my bag started to buzz again. Ugh, not now; why me? I tried to ignore it for a second, when blonde brat looked at it. "Your bag is ringing." Fantastic. I spun around to fetch it, pulling out the dreaded burner phone. It was a restricted number, though I knew who it was. With the upmost bravery, I turned to face blonde brat. "Um, would you give me a minute, please?" "What's wrong, dear? Private call?" Oh frik; she's not going anywhere. "N-nope!" After turning the volume really low and taking a deep breath, I flipped it open. "H-hello?"

"Celestial! Celestial, come quick! We need your help! Masterpiece isn't around and we need your help with something asap!" Could they be any louder; I had to hold the phone away from my ear. "Can't you get Hound to deal with it?" "No! Masterpiece said we're supposed to ask you when he's not around." Of course he did, my eyes internally rolled. Just another way to manipulate me into accepting the succession. "I can't come right now; I'm… busy." "But we really need to get this figured out! Tell me where you are; Switchblade come get you." "Switchblade?" Blonde brat asked behind me.

I immediately hung up and threw the phone into my bag. Blonde brat looked all too pleased with this; her callous smirk returning to her plump lips. "Who was that? Your brothers?" "You could call them that," I didn't even look back at her. God, why me? Why me? "Sounds like they really need you. You should go to them; I'm sure Mr. Grey will understand." "It's fine!" My feet spun back around to the counter. My hands angrily grabbed the cups and my bag, and I stormed out of the room. That's it! From now on, I'm leaving that phone on silent! And I hope I never see blonde brat again either. Once those two things are rectified, then life will be so, so much better.


	12. Secrets

_Taylor and I were just finishing up with the final details of the presentation. He then went to get the boardroom ready for this afternoon. "Thanks, Taylor," I said as he exited. When I was sure he was gone, I opened my drawer and pulled out my very personal keychain; it was a little light-pink hoodie. Something you'd buy for a doll I'm sure. I held it securely in my palm, leaning back in my seat to stare down at it. My thumb tenderly ran over the front. What are you doing right now? My eyes lowered onto it in the gentlest way possible….. Where are you, my faceless angel?_

_My longing was cut off guard by my office phone ringing. It was my legal department. I had to put the keychain away before answering. "Yes?" "Uh, boss? There's some from the hospital on line two." One of my lawyers informed me. Strange; I expected them to handle all contact with the hospital. "She's asking about some confidential paperwork I can't access without your say so. Should I transfer her?" Very strange indeed. "Yes; thank you, Mark." He proceeded to put me on hold; I soon hear the voice of a young woman._

"_Christian Grey." "Mr. Grey? This is the Royal Infirmary. I need you to sign off on the two reports before we send them to your legal team." "Two reports?" Why would there be two? "You weren't informed about Friday's report?" She sounded equally surprised. "Friday? Miss Steele went to the hospital Wednesday night." "She also came in on Friday. We need to send a copy of this report to your lawyer as well." "Is it from emergency?" I sat up; she neglected to mention anything about that. "No, sir. It's from the gynecologist." Gynecologist? "Is she….?" I didn't want to outright ask if she was pregnant; though I'd find out eventually if that was the case. The nurse seemed to understand._

"_No, sir; she's not pregnant. It's just her x-ray and ultrasound results from a previous hospital visit. We were told to send any documentation to court if Miss Steele had anymore confrontations with registered felons." "Wait….. Something like this has happened before?" This definitely caught my attention. "Yes, sir. She was involved in a criminal lawsuit eight years ago. The judge ruled that if she was ever attacked again and it went to court, we were to send all subsequent reports resulting from her previous encounter." Eight years ago….. This peeked my curiosity._

"_You have my permission to send whatever reports the courts require." "Thank you, sir." "Also, I want to request a copy of the emergency incident report from eight years ago be sent to my office. You do not have to include any personal information." There was a pause. "Is this for your legal team?" "It would help their case, yes." "Give me a minute," she left for a second; to check with her supervisor I bet. My mind was already racing when she returned. "Ok, Mr. Grey. We will fax you a copy of the report." "Thank you; you've been most helpful." We hung up just in time for Anastasia to come through the door. She had two cups of likely luke-warm coffee in her hands and did not look particularly happy. I simply smiled at her. This woman… Just what secrets are you hiding from me exactly?_


	13. Coffee with Mr Grey

[She may not be my girl, but I'll be damned if I let anyone else have her.]

"Where's Jason?" I set the mugs down on Mr. Grey's desk. "He's gone to setup the boardroom. Have you eaten breakfast yet, Miss Steele?" Mr. Grey blinked at me, standing up for some reason. "Uh… well, no; not really." "Come; I want something to drink." "B-but I just brought coffee?" He then turned down to the cups, then back my way; his expression was both unimpressed and vaguely amused. "I want some real coffee. Come have some with me, Miss Steele." And we left the office together. Of course we had to pass blonde brat in the hall, where she gave me the nastiest of glares. Yep; definitely jealously. Though I don't know what she had to be jealous about. As if Mr. Grey would ever even look at someone like me.

We went to this little nearby café. Mr. Grey ordered coffee for himself and tea for me; while he did so, I hastily put my burner phone on silent. I left my personal phone at the office, but I couldn't part from this one. Daddy would have a fit if I even thought about it…. Luckily, I stashed it away in my pocket by the time Mr. Grey returned. I was surprised to see a piece of almond cake on the tray- just one. We both had pink mugs…. Oh yeah! His favorite color is pink. Maybe it was his old girlfriend or mom's favorite color or something. It must come from somewhere…

Mr. Grey first set down my cup, then his. Then he slid the piece of cake over to me. I looked at him confused; he met my expression with a gentle smile. "Eat." "What about you? Aren't you hungry?" "I'm fine, but you need breakfast. Eat." He didn't have to tell me twice; I picked up the fork and chowed down. Mr. Grey watched me for a moment, sitting back in his seat and rubbing his finger under his lip in a thoughtful fashion.

"You're obedient, but you don't seem intimidated by me," he noted outright. And he was right; I wasn't at all intimidated by him. I doubt he ever killed or beat up anyone; why should I be afraid of him? Of all the rich guys I've ever met, he was the least dangerous. Course, he didn't know that. "I'm submissive by nature. Let's just say I'm not the leading type. I'd rather someone else lead for me… then I can focus on my books," my eyes moved down to my cake. That's also true… I wasn't born to lead; whether in the mob or elsewhere. I'm an academic above all else; I'm a writer…..

"You sound so sure about that." "I am," I quickly replied. Mr. Grey considered this for a brief minute. I found his stare locked onto me again, like he was trying to study me. To figure something out…. "You come from money, don't you?" This question didn't surprise me as much as it should have. I simply lowered my gaze again. "It's not "my" money. It's…. the "family's"." "The Steele clan?" "I guess you could say that," Daddy did have the biggest share of wealth in the Dollars.

More intense staring. What was he trying to do exactly? Dive deep inside me or something like that? I pretended not to notice this time, continuing to munch on my cake. "What's your favorite fairytale?" Ok, now this caught me off guard. I just blinked back up to my new boss; he wore a serious yet kind face. "What?" "You said you liked fairytales. Which one is your favorite?" He… remembered that? Awe! Bit of a weird question but I guess this was his way of making small-talk. My cheeks sizzled pink a bit as my hands twiddled excitedly. I love talking about literature- any literature.

"I like Rapunzel; the real version, not Tangled. I… have a thing for long hair." Mr. Grey nodded gently and met my gaze with his flawless blue eyes. Gees, I swear those eyes were like pools I could dive into. I almost worried that if I stared too long, I might get lost in them. "I like long hair too; though I prefer brunettes." "Really?!" "Why does that surprise you, Miss Steele?" "O-oh! Well, it's just…. all the women at your office…. Lots of….. lots of blondes." He looked appalled for a moment, then chuckled to himself; not to me. "You noticed that, did you?" Kinda hard to miss.

"I should correct myself- I like a brunette." "Oh! Is she your….?" I had to cut my sentence; that is super inappropriate to ask your boss about his potential love-life. If Mr. Grey wants me to know, he'll tell me. But to my bewilderment, Mr. Grey grew rather quiet after this; he looked out of the window we were sitting beside and lightly tapped his finger on the table. I could tell he was thinking, but not about me. No, in that brief second, his mind was somewhere far, far away from here. I wonder where he was trying to reach to…. where his mind was going to. Maybe to where an old lover is; like he's trying desperately to find her. Find her…. or forget about her.

I nearly flinched when Mr. Grey unexpected stood up; he didn't look down at me. "I'll be right back, Miss Steele. Stay here." "A-alright," I then watched him turn and walk away from our table. Weird; could he have been just triggered now? I hope he'll be alright; maybe this topic is off-limits. Unsure what to do, I continued slowly eating my cake and sipping at my tea. Mr. Grey…. I felt my eyes gently drift over to his still-full coffee mug. He better hurry back before his coffee gets cold. My gaze lowered a tad. I hope he's ok…. I really want him to be ok.


	14. Fraying with the Dollars

Mr. Grey actually drove me home at the end of the day. He was really apologetic about earlier; he didn't come back to me for a while at the café. I didn't say a word about it; he mentioned something about a personal story back at the police station. It all was starting to add up- the lack of brunettes in his office, his hatred of gang violence towards women, his love of the color pink…. his reluctance to talk about it. Yeah, I knew that something traumatic must have happened in his past; something with a girl he loved or at least cared for. Once I understood that, I knew not to bring it up again. I didn't want to open old wounds…. My hand ran over my stomach sadly; I knew what that felt like.

I decided that since I had some free time tonight, I thought I might do some laundry. Putting on a Youtube video for background noise, I dumped a pile of freshly-washed clothes all over on my bed. While I was busy folding and sorting, my personal pink phone vibrated. A smile rolled across of my face to see a message from Paul. [You better have your taser with you] Awe, this wonderful, stoic man. I simply adored him. [Yes; don't worry, Paul. I won't break my promise] [You better not] With another grin, I shut off my phone and tossed back onto my bed. He's lovely in his own way; protective but endearing.

I perked up at my phone vibrating again. Only… it took me a second to realize it wasn't my personal phone. Hesitantly my eyes peeked over my shoulder to the burner phone on my desk. It was one vibration- a message. I put down the current t-shirt I was folding to check it. It was from an unknown number, obviously. My eyes grew in utter horror as I read. [What did you say to Jack?] Jack? Wait… oh, mother ducker!

Within the blink of an eye, I dropped my phone on the ground, grabbed my coat, and put in on as I ran out of my building. This was bad- very bad! No! That's not what the guys called me about earlier, is it? Ugh! Why?! No; this can't be happening! It took me about ten minutes to reach the vague, in-between territory of the Dollars and Yellow Scarves; this is where most fights usually took place. At first, I didn't see anything; I seemed to be alone in the area, until….

"I knew you'd come." My feet spun right around to see an informant. I don't remember his name, but he was pretty infamous in the underground world; Daddy had worked with him several times. "Y-you texted me?" He definitely wasn't a Dollar, so how did he get my number? That's some informant. He was wearing a dark hoodie with a white interior hood; his jeans were also dark. I immediately noticed the switchblade in his right pocket.

"Don't look so scared, princess. I'm not going to hurt you," my hand rose nervously up to my chest when he took a step forward. He wore a knowing smirk and kept his hands buried in his hoodie's pockets. This asshole, I frowned; he'd knew I come too. That's why he texted me; I thought it was a Dollar who found a Yellow Scarf spy. "W-why you'd text me?" "You know why. You had the pleasure of meeting a mutual acquaintance of ours." "I don't know him; we talked once. That's it." "Well, darling; it looks like you were the last one who did." Oh fock; he's gone underground, hasn't he? No wonder he was hiding out at our place.

My foot instinctively stepped backwards. "You're working for Yellow Scarves, aren't you?" "I have no loyalties, if that's what you're afraid of. But yes; I have clients who are looking for the dick. And you're gonna help me." Yeah, I don't think so; it won't be long now. We both knew time was running out. In fact, reinforcements should be coming in three, two, one….

"Well, well; what's up, Black?" Oh, thank god. We turned simultaneously turned to see a mob bodyguard emerging from the shadows. I think he was a mercenary; not a Dollar, but not an enemy either. He didn't even acknowledge my existence. The informant, Black I guess, rolled his eyes annoyed. "What are you doing here? Last I heard, you were working for Antonio over by the west gate." "Ha, I quit that job ages ago. And didn't I tell you not to set foot in Stix's again?"

"Oh, leave me alone. I've got a gig to do." "Yeah, well you're not doing it here. Get lost, Black; before I beat the shit out of you." Oh, classy; well, this was my que to get the heck out of dodge. But before I could take my first step, a bunch of mobsters ran from behind the corner. One of the suddenly pointed at the informant. "There! That's the guys!" I practically rolled my eyes as we- or rather they- were suddenly surrounded. "No punk-ass bitch goes making fools out of us." "You don't go fraying around with the Dollars."

Welp! Now I know what they were calling about; someone was caught infiltrating our base. While neither the informant nor bodyguard were paying any attention to me now, the gang instantly became aware of my presence. "Hey, it's the princess!" "What are you doing out here?! It's late!" Oh fantastic; and here I was wanting to avoid conflict. I sighed and rubbed my eyes exasperated. "That guy texted me on the burner phone. He lured me out here," I wasted no time pointing at the now furious-looking informant. "You bitch…."

"You did what?!" One Dollar yelled. "Oh, I don't think you know who she is," another- codename Switchblade- growled. "Does the boss know about this?" "No, I ran here after he texted me," I sighed. This was going to get ugly- fast. "Get 'em!" The first Dollar shouted. What proceeded was lots of fighting, smacking, cursing, and yelling. I tried to get away but of course, the noise had to attract even more visitors. Pretty soon a small group of Yellow Scarves found us; it became Dollars vs. Yellow Scarves and informant vs. body guard. All the while, I did my best to stay out of everyone's way. No one paid me any attention by now, but it was still a struggle avoiding the violent sea of male bodies. Now I wish I brought one of my phones; that would have been really useful at the moment. But here I was, once again phoneless and in the middle of a gang scrap. And I thought I'd be here until the end of it until….


	15. Here Come the Cops

_I printed out the hospital report and went over to my chair to read it. Let's see; Miss Anastasia Steele, omitted to the Royal Infirmary on 4 October, 2011. Wait, I know that day…. That day was… My eyes grew gigantic as all the blood in my heart froze in my veins. I kept reading; I had to keep reading…. Miss Steele, suffered severe stab wounds to the lower abdomen. Wearing jeans, Converse, and…. a light pink hoodie when brought into emergency._

_The paper literally fell from my hand. A stream of tears began to unconsciously roll down my cheeks. My eyes simply gazed out of the window to the night sky. All this time… Her image flashed through my mind. After all these years of searching, dreaming of the day when I could have her near…. There she was… She was finally within my reach. My lips parted as I remembered to breathe; both of my cheeks were tearstained by now. I see her… I finally have a face for my angel._

_And she's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen._

"Freeze! Police!" No one stopped at the orders of the cops; thugs didn't really care about cops. What policemen were there had to try and break up the fight- badly. If anything, more fists just went flying. Once again, I remained safely at the sidelines, trying to plot an escape until….

Oh, crap! My eyes widened in horror. Paul! It was Paul; he had come with the other cops. Oh no! No, no, no! This is bad! I gotta get the heck of dodge before he sees me. My beloved friend was presently trying to separate two brutes. Not taking a second look, my body spun around to dash in the other way. I was about to run when one of the upper Dollars- this one codenamed Psycho- made his way over to me.

"Where's the burner phone?" Psycho wasted no time getting to the point. "At my house," I responded. He didn't even nod; he just reached down to take hold of my hand. "We gotta get here." Before I could even react, Psycho was suddenly tackled to the ground. An enraged Paul glared down at him so aggressively, pinning him firmly down. "You're under arrest for attempted kidnapped!" "Uh, Paul; that's really not….."

"Bail!" Switchblade hollered at the top of his lungs out of nowhere behind us. It was enough to get Paul's attention off Psycho for a second; he used the opportunity to push Paul off of him. Paul went stumbling and Psycho was gone in the blink of an eye. Our mob's protocol was that if the cops ever showed up, I was to act as an innocent bystander; no one in the Dollars acknowledged me directly with police around. This was another "protective measure" Daddy issued when I was a teenager. Amongst the chaos, Switchblade sent me a look. I answered it with the silent statement that I was safe now; and I was- Paul was here now, after all. Seemingly satisfied with that, he took off with the other Dollars. Now it was just the Yellow Scarves, informant, and bodyguard still present; along with the feds of course.

While the other policemen took care of the Yellow Scarves, Paul instantly turned around to worriedly inspect me up and down. "Are you alright, Ana?" "Yes, Paul; I'm fine." He breathed a sigh of solid relief, shutting his eyes for a second. "Just wait. I'll help my squad and then I'll drive you home." "Ok, I….."

"You're not going anywhere," both Paul and I blinked over to the informant, who had on the smuggest of smirks. The audacity…. He even said this in front of a cop. "I'm not finished with you yet, princess. We've still got some things to discuss." "What would possibly have to discuss with Ana?" Paul growled dangerously, protectively stationing himself between Black and me; the men glared venom at each other. "Awe, look princess; you got yourself a little guard dog. Won't Ray be happy?"

"Get lost or I'll have you arrested!" Paul practically screamed; I think he was seeing red by this point. "I just wanna talk. What's so illegal about that?" His hands went up at his sides in a questioning stance; he was still smirking. "I said leave- now!" "Alright, alright; you don't have to get so pushy about it." "Black!" The bodyguard's yell rang through the whole area; I guess he figured out where he was again. Before Mr. Bodyguard could reach the informant, he spun around to run for it. But not before he gave me one last smirk; a threatening smirk. "I'll be seeing you soon." And with that, he took off, with Mr. Bodyguard shouting and running behind him.

We just watched them go- quietly, pensively….. I didn't blink at the sudden sensation of something holding onto my hand again. My eyes peered to see Paul's hand securely holding mine; he wasn't even looking at me. His face was stoic, like always, and he was merely staring in the direction where the men had disappeared. Strange- I don't know if he even consciously realized that he took my hand. It's as if he's worried…. worried and wants to sense me physically close to him.


	16. Radiant

Paul was unusually quiet the whole drive home. He kept his eyes on the road and occasionally rubbed under his bottom lip with his finger. This wasn't like him; normally he'd be grilling me or yelling at me for being out after dark alone. But now…. he was just so reserved, like he was lost in his thoughts or something.

When we got to my apartment, Paul shut off the cop car and I invited him inside. He simply nodded and let me lead the way. We ascended the staircase in silence again, and he stood behind me while I fished out my keys and unlocked the door. All the while, I could feel Paul's eyes on me, though I didn't address it. Then, I pushed the door open, ready to go inside. But I was stopped under the doorframe by Paul; he was right behind me now, his chest almost touching my back. I didn't say anything as his hands reached around my arms to hold their fronts in his palms. It's like… it's like he wanted to wrap his arms around me but resisted. We just stayed like that for a while, neither of us saying anything, Paul's hands protectively cupping mine. _"Paul likes you; it's obvious to everyone." _Paul… doesn't like me, does he? Does he….?

This whole silence thing didn't last long. Though he wasn't yelling at me as loud as usual, he didn't hesitate to finally have it in on me later. His voice was constantly seasoned with concern; must be because of my trip to the police last week. These happened so close together. I had just finished making us tea by the end of the lecture/questions.

"I thought I told you not to go out at night alone anymore. You didn't even have your cellphone with you!" "I…. forgot it at home." "You forgot it? Ana, what if something happened and you needed to call me….. t-the police?" "I'm sorry, Paul; it just sort of happened. At least I had my taser on me," I smiled, bringing us over our tea. I gave him his mug and plopped myself down on the couch beside him. He blew on his tea before peering my way.

"Why can't you just make an effort, Ana? I mean seriously- what am I supposed to do?" "Uh, your job?" "No, I mean if something happened to you," his eyes rolled dramatically. This made my cheeks blush a little. He said that in a matter-o-factly tone but… it still sounded super sweet to me regardless. Paul…. "Paul, I know you're worried about me, and I appreciate it. But you don't have to so much; I'm fine, really." "You're wrong, Ana; having an underground mobster talk to you like that isn't fine. Do…. do you know who he is? Have you ever seen him before?" "No, this was the first time tonight," not a complete lie; we had actually never spoken before in person. "What does he want with you? Do you have any idea?" Paul asked me straight on. My mouth shot open to answer, but no words came out right away. It took me a second to think of something decent-sounding. "I… have no idea. I don't know what he'd want with me." "Yeah, me either…." Paul's eyes drifted out into nowhere ponderingly.

A pregnant pause fell over us; I swear I could hear Paul thinking, his mind was so busy. Eventually he blinked up to me, much softer this time. After a moment of quiet staring, he reached over for the remote. This made me blink in surprise as he turned on the tv and pass the remote over to me. Once again, his kind face shown upon me. "You've had a long night. Just put on whatever you like and let your mind relax. Try and fall asleep if you can."

"W-wait, what about you?" This caught me off guard. His gazed lowered onto mine. "I'm not going anywhere; I'll stay here with you, if you want." "I do! B-but…. what if I fall asleep?" And he then flashed me the gentlest, most tender smile; something I hadn't seen from Paul before. "Don't worry. I'll stay until you fall asleep. Just rest; I'll be right here with you." Paul, my eyes began to grow. Has he always been this…. nurturing? Believing him wholeheartedly, I rested back in the couch and put on some mindless cartoons. Paul didn't say anything, though I know he felt good…. I could tell by the way he kept blinking to me and grinning from the corner of his mouth. I don't know when I exactly fell to sleep either; but I remember feeling very safe and protected.

[By the time the movie was over, Ana was already fast to sleep on my shoulder. It was weird; we'd never done anything like this before. I shut off the tv, lifted Ana up princess-style in my arms, and carried her to her bedroom. There I carefully laid her down her bed and covered her with the blanket. As I was tucking her in, I heard something drop to the floor. Huh, that's odd; I picked up this not-previously-seen flip cellphone. Why does she have two phones? I pondered gazing back down at the sleeping woman.

I looked at her- her peaceful face- and felt my chest start to tighten. Had Anastasia always been this… radiant? She looked like a friken goddess, an angel when she slept. I didn't know humans could look so beautiful. It wasn't even a sexy beauty either; she was like a work of art- a masterpiece. I set the phone down on her desk and grinned back at her; my hand gently moving some stray hairs off her cheek.

Don't you worry, Ana; I promise I won't let those goons get their grubby hands on you. He said he'd see you again soon; I find that good cause to assume you're in danger. No, don't you worry about a thing- the police will handle it. I will handle it.]


	17. The Morning After

[Where are you? Why haven't you answered my calls?] I sighed and set my phone away. That was Mr. Grey's millionth text this morning. Turns out that Paul stayed over last night; I found him asleep on my living room couch. The morning after last night was…. chaotic. Paul absolutely refused to let me go anywhere but the police station with him. He bought me a lovely French fruit tart for breakfast on our way to the station. Once there, my father was called, statements were made, and a warrant for the informant to be brought in for questioning was put out. All the while, Mr. Grey had been calling and texting me nonstop; Paul and the others kept me so busy that I couldn't even message him back once.

Like any normal boss, I half-expected Mr. Grey to simply up and fire me for such insubordination. But instead, his texts got surprisingly more and more concerned. Why would he be concerned over someone like me? We barely knew each other; should I take this as a warning sign? No, I don't think so; it didn't feel controlling. Still, I felt a little bad for letting him worry like this. Next time he calls, I'll make sure to answer- that is, if these bustling men will let me.

"Ok, so let me see if I've got this straight. You were walking to your father's place last night when you ran into the underground informant?" Officer Doyle asked me- yet again. Paul groaned and rolled his eyes irritated. "For the last time, yes. He approached Ana- twice. I was there the second time," he answered for me; I think Paul was growing tired of their ahem…. incompetence.

"Did he threaten you, Miss Steele?" "Well, not exactly but….." "He made an indirectly threatening comment to her; that's enough to drag him in for questioning." Ah, good old Paul; overprotective- just like he'd been since high school. Most women would probably find him controlling and unbearable, but I knew him. He had no ill-intent towards me, and never would; this is just how he shows he cares. If he's protective, he values you. That's how it works.

My own eyes gave an exasperated roll at the vibrating from my phone again. Ok, that's it; time to answer him. Paul was still arguing with Officer Doyle when I discreetly got up to go over to the side of the room; none of them would let me actually leave. Mr. Grey's name flashed on my screen- ok, here we go. I didn't even give myself time to breathe before I clicked the green phone button. "H-hello?"

"Miss Steele, where have you been? Do you know what time it is, or how many times I've tried calling you?" Boy, did he sound upset; not mad per se, but surely not happy. "I know, I'm sorry. I…." "Miss Steele! What are you doing? We still have more reports to fill out!" Paul and officer Doyle now had their eyes locked my way. "Who's that?" Mr. Grey sounded concerned. "Mr. Grey, I'm at the police station right now. I'm sorry but I won't be able to come into work today." "The police station? What are you doing there?!" Before I could reply, Paul waved me forward; he too, did not look happy. "Come on, Ana. We need you here." "Coming! Bye, sir." "Anastasia, wait. Which station are you at?" I accidently hung up by the time he finished his inquiry. It took me less than a second to consider…. Wait, did he just call me "Anastasia"? "Ana!" I went from gazing at my phone perplexed to going back over to the officer's desk.

The procedure was not fast. Officer Doyle would ask me or Paul something, I would try to answer, and Paul would get mad that this wasn't going faster. Rinse and repeat for like an hour. We unsurprisingly hadn't gotten much done by the time officer Jones opened the office door. "This way, sir." We all blinked to see…. Wait, what is Mr. Grey doing here?! I gasped while Paul's eyes grew in shock at the arrival of my new boss in the room. "M-Mr. Grey?!"

"Anastasia," Mr. Grey let out an audible shy in reaction to seeing me alright, I think. Within seconds he was by my side, rolling his eyes all over me nervously. "Are you alright?" "I-I'm fine!" "What are you doing here? We already got your statement and contacted your lawyer; there's no reason for you to be in here," oh boy, Paul…. He couldn't even wait five seconds. "Why are you, Anastasia? What happened?" You should have seen the look on Paul's face at Mr. Grey's total dismissal of him. I blinked worriedly from one man to the other, pursing my lips together. Gees…. Aren't we a little too old to behave like this? And since when did Mr. Grey start calling me by my first name? Did I give him permission to do that?

"Miss Steele had another run-in with some gangsters last night," officer Doyle announced. Mr. Grey's expression contorted to one of shock and horror. "You what?!" "Apparently one of them- an underground informant- spoke to Miss Steele with threatening language." "What did he say?" "That's none of your business," Paul firmly stated; his arms were crossed over his chest in a defiant manner. The look Mr. Grey and Paul gave each other….. Let's just say this was getting ridiculous.

"This also is none of your business, but I'm the one dealing with it; it's my case- my responsibility now. I'm the one who arrived at the scene last night; I'm the one who brought Ana to the station this morning; and I'm the one who will make sure that asshole never sees her again. So you can leave- there's nothing more for you to do here." If looks could kill… What Paul just said seemed to somewhat alarm Mr. Grey, probably the part with him bringing me to the station this morning. No one said anything for a long, tense moment; then Mr. Grey parted his lips dangerously.

"Since it's your "responsibility", I think it's only fair that you know that I'm Anastasia's current boss; she's my intern as of last week." "So what? You're her boss. Doesn't mean you have a right to be here." I really don't know why these two guys automatically hated each other so much. I mean really, they literally have no history with each other. I just couldn't wrap my head around it; it didn't help that the other policemen didn't seem to notice- like at all.

"Would one of you see Mr. Grey out? We have work to do," Paul then told officer Doyle and Jones. "What are you going to do about this?" Mr. Grey demanded, not budging an inch. Officer Doyle and Jones looked at each other. Meanwhile, Paul… "I told you I will deal with it," my dear friend hissed viciously. Mr. Grey's glare sharpened; you could clearly see the bent-up rage in his wonderful eyes. "I asking you how; I'm not about to stand by while Anastasia's in danger." Mr. Grey! I blinked over to him in astonishment. The way he said that just now… it's like… it's like he had some regard for me, some affection…. But….. that's impossible; he doesn't even know me. Even Paul looked taken aback by this unanticipated declaration. It didn't help things now that I was shyly blushing a little. This made me blush…. Mr. Grey made me blush in surprise… and delight.

_I love her- I fell in love with my faceless angel the most she took a knife for me. I could never imagine myself with anyone else. This girl sacrificed herself for me, saved my life; how could I ever love another? _

_No one will touch her; no blade will ever pierce her skin again. Not with me around; no. I take one look at Anastasia, and I'm ready for war. _

_Only this time, I'll win. _


	18. Angel in My Dreams

_The nightmares started when I was twenty- soon after my, or should I say our attack. I definitely had some PTSD afterwards; I certainly didn't go out at night alone for a long time by myself- despite being a grown, fit male. There was a period I'd have panic attacks at the mere sight of blood or large knives. Everything suffered because of this; my schoolwork, my friendships, my family life. And it only got worse when any women showed any interest in me._

_I didn't think about her at first; not right away anyway. She, like the color pink, drifted into the deep recesses of my mind. It was like I was trying to forget… I wanted to forget; it was easier to forget than remember the pain in her stance and smell of her blood. For a while, my faceless angel wasn't there, constantly lingering over me. All that changed however when I tried to kiss a woman one day and found that I couldn't. It's not that I was grossed out by her or anything; she was rather attractive. It was just not physically possible for me- I had no idea why. That happened, and then the nightmares started._

_Blood- lots of blood. It was so potent in my dreams; the color, the smell, the way it coagulated around her feet. Fear and immense guilt permeated every one of my fibres. I saw her… I didn't remember her just yet, but I saw her every night in my dreams. She wasn't my faceless angel yet; she was only a hazy figure made of pink and red. And I recounted every detail of the black blade handle sticking out of her stomach. At first, all I dreamt was laying there on the concrete for hours, staring helpless up as this entity bled out in front of me. There was nothing I could do to help her; I couldn't even move. There was nothing…. And then one night, everything changed._

_It began like every other nightmare: I was laying on the ground immobile. But I found that the woman was not in front of me. In fact, I was alone for the first time since I began having nightmares. After a second, I discovered that I could actually move; using my arm, I lifted my upper half off the cement. The world area me started to gradually become hazy with soft and mellow colors. I don't think I was in the street anymore; I was somewhere far away… somewhere much warmer and light. For a second, I thought I was in heaven but realized that I hadn't died that day. I didn't die….._

"Guilt."_ That voice- it was female, though I didn't recognize it. _"Guilt and remorse; they infect your every action."_ I think… I think it was coming from inside my head; I was still the only one around_. "Why? After all, it was my choice."_ Wait…. "Of course I feel guilty. I never wanted her to jump in; it should have been me. It should have been me….." My gaze scrolled out into space. That's right, I think a part of me wished it was me… at least that I could live with. The voice went quiet for a moment, letting me drown in my own thoughts._

"If it was you, you would have died. I bear the cost."_ "What cost? Did you…. did you die?!" That never crossed my mind before; the mere thought of it made my blood freeze. A pregnant pause fell over us. _"I did not die."_ Oh- oh, thank god. I couldn't live with myself if that happened. "T-then what cost did you….?" Another long quiet; I was suddenly overwhelmed with this odd sensation. I don't think I can actually describe it; it was like being full, if that makes any sense._

_In an instant, I blinked as something caught my eye; something in the distance. It wasn't easy to make out at first, it's lines and colors blurring in with the surroundings. Eventually however, I could make out it was a child- a little boy. He had on a blue shirt and light jeans; he was smiling. W-who is that? Is that me when I was young? No….. I don't think so. I observed the happy toddler run past me. To my shock, the figure of an older woman with long brown hair appeared far in front of me. She wasn't looking at me; she was looking at the boy and smiling… She was smiling so happily when she caught the child in her arms._

_Lifting up the boy, she nuzzled his face with her nose and gave him plenty of kisses, all while the child was laughing merrily. It was supposed to be a happy scene but….. I was overcome with sudden sadness. Watching the two together made me want to cry, and I had no clue why. Finally, the pair looked my way; the boy had these big, blue eyes. The moment our eyes met, a tear fell from mine. This boy….. This precious, precious child. Again, I had no idea where these thoughts or feelings were coming from. But they were there. Dear god, they were there._

_The woman gazed back at the little boy still securely in her arms. "What's wrong, Teddy?" My lips instinctively parted. Theodore… "Daddy looks sad, Mommy." Oh god, this child- this boy…. The woman merely brushed his short hair back and rested her head against his; her eyes wandering out to nowhere. "I know…. I know."_

"_I don't…. I don't understand." It was then I turned my head around. To my utter disbelief, there was a woman, an angel with long, flowing brown hair floating behind me. She was faceless, though I knew she was beautiful- gorgeous even. She was simply staring down at me without eyes. Her long hair flew out all around her, complementing these two stunning white wings. Her white gown had white rose petals strewn all about it, not falling off her. She was….. she was the most beautiful, most perfect thing I'd ever seen- dreamt before. I don't think my mind was able of such creation; she was too ethereal for a mortal to possibly imagine._

"_Is that… your son?" _"Our son,"_ she gently, quietly corrected; despite not having a mouth, she could speak perfectly. And her voice…. oh, her angelic voice. "M-my son… my son?" I gazed back to the boy with tears now pouring down my face. _"He is what could have been; not what will be."_ "W-wait?! He won't….. I won't?!" My head spun desperately back around to her. _"It was not meant to be. Either way, he would not be conceived; that is my cost."_ I stared up at the goddess-like creature, beginning to understand…. I think I understood what she meant. My lower lip started to tremble uncontrollably._

"_I'm so sorry; I'm so sorry….." More tears. She gazed at me for a minute, saying nothing. _"It was my choice. You did nothing wrong." _"But you gave up so much for me!" _"And I would do it again. This is my decision; not yours. I do not ask nor expect you to carry the guilt with you forever."_ "No! No, you can't do this! What about you?! You sacrificed everything for me!" I watched through my tears as she floated down closer to me; though she was wearing white, she had this aura of pink about her. I could sense her smiling when her hands tenderly rested on my wet cheeks. Her hands radiated warmth…._

"I made my choice; it was mine to make. And in so doing, I bound myself to you."_ "Why…. why?" Her invisible eyes softened onto mine. _"I want you to live; I want you to laugh a lot; I want you to enjoy what time you have left…. Life is so short already,"_ her unseen eyes then shut; I could sense them do so. Still crying, I lifted up my hands to rest overtop of hers. "You've given more for me than any other woman could." _"I saved your life; now I expect you to live it for me." _"Share it with me…." My eyes also shut, soaking in her presence. She didn't say anything before I continued; we just sat there together like that. "No other… I don't think I could love another as I love you. You, who sacrificed your son for me." And my faceless angel drew in a deep breath._

"You forget, Christian; I may never be a mother, but I can be a lover." _"Then love me, and let me love you. Let me give, like you have already given to me."_


	19. Life Gets More Complicated

"A part of Theodore still lives inside of me; he was made of us- me and you."_ That's what she told me; my cherished faceless angel. I couldn't help but grieve over my little boy; the son that would never be. But she consoled me, affirming to me that in another universe, he existed. Teddy was there with us…. But in my reality, he would forever remain entirely within us- me and my future wife. _

"What's your plan?" "I don't need to disclose that to you." "Guys, please," I'd finally had enough; this was getting ridiculous. Paul and Mr. Grey didn't even look at me; their attentions were that chained to each other. "Uh, Clayton- what is your plan exactly?" Officer Jones finally asked. "Yeah, I'm kinda lost on the whole thing," officer Doyle added. Oh sure, they'll listen to them- these lovely, bumbling policemen.

"That's obvious: keep Ana safe from… from that creep." "Um, ok? How we gonna do that?" Officer Doyle scratched the back of his head. "Yeah, and how are we gonna find this guy? He's probably not going to voluntarily come in for question," officer Jones added this time. "Exactly. What's your strategy for that, detective Clayton?" Mr. Grey didn't hold back in the smug tone. Like seriously…. Am I the only voice of reason around here, which they ironically can't hear?

"I will think of something; that's my job!" Paul shot back defensively. "If you were smart, you would let me help with resources of my own." "You have resources?!" The two other officers lit up in delight. Paul's frown couldn't have grown wider. "We don't need anything he has to offer! We have plenty of resources of our own." "Guys," I tried to get their meagre attention again- no such luck. "Well, yeah…. but our department isn't funded very well." "Guys…." "And we don't have much information on the Dollars as it is." "Guys?" "That's why I'm offering my services. Your team is clearly unequip." "Hey!" "Guys!"

"Who do you think you are?" Paul now got up in Mr. Grey's face. I wasn't alarmed by this because I knew he wouldn't actually do anything, though Paul was obviously running out patience. "You think that just cause your Ana's boss and you're rich, that gives you any right to….." "Ana!"

Everyone simultaneously jolted their heads around to the office door. Standing in the threshold was none other than my father. He had on normal clothes with a long, dark coat. Daddy let out a visible sigh of relief at the sight of me. "Honey!" His arms opened up as he came over to embrace me. "Mr. Steele," officer Jones was the first to greet his arrival. "Sweetheart, are you ok?" Daddy ignored him, pulling back to gently look at my face. "I'm fine, Daddy. Nothing happened."

Now, you might think it's batshit crazy for a mob lord to willingly enter a police station, and you'd be right. But Daddy and the Dollars had a code: to act and look as ordinary as possible. Daddy was never reluctant to talk to police or the government; he genuinely acted as if he had nothing to hide. And it worked- there's a reason the Steele clan has been mob bosses for generations back. My father, grandfather, and great grandfather were never questioned once; much less inspected. Hey- if it works!

"Officers, thank you for calling me," Daddy then straightened up, eying all four men in the room. "Of course, Mr. Steele; I'm sure this is something you'd want some input in," officer Jones nodded respectfully towards the unsuspected godfather. "I certainly do. How are you going to apprehend this man?" "U-uh, well sir… he didn't exactly…. threaten your daughter outright," officer Doyle stumbled with his words. "He's right. The most we can do is bring him in questioning." "And we will," Paul stated firmly. "With my help," Mr. Grey tacked on. Daddy turned to face Mr. Grey for the first time.

"Who are you?" "Um, this is Mr. Grey, Daddy. He's my new boss; for that PhD internship I was telling you about." "Oh! Pleasure to meet you, young man," Daddy then shook his hand; the two men grinned at one another. "The pleasure's mine, sir." "You said you're going to help the police locate this character, right?" "No, he's not," Paul interjected. "Uh, well… I guess he could…. maybe." "He's has resources," I had to stifle a smile while officer Doyle pointed to Mr. Grey. Paul's eyes rolled so hard.

"Yes, Mr. Steele. I promise I will help find this man and the police interrogate him." "I see…. oh boy, what a mess," Daddy's eyes rolled considering out to nowhere. Daddy… I blinked up to him. I trusted him; he knew how to play the game better than anyone- I had good reason to trust him. But this was all new to me; I wasn't used to being so close to the police so often. Though I knew what Daddy would say: I better get used to it, being the future head of the Dollars. Ugh, no.

"Do you know anything about any underground informants in the area, Mr. Steele?" Officer Jones ventured to ask. "Yes; yes, I do." Even this caught me off guard; I trusted him… I had to trust him. Daddy sighed and bent down so to meet my gaze; he placed on his hands on my shoulder. "I'm sorry, honey; this is all my fault." W-what? Daddy, what are you doing? But he gave me one of those looks, telling me to keep quiet and let him explain. I agreed without moving my head. With that, he turned back to the men.

"You're right, officer Jones- that man is an underground informant. Sorry, Ana; Daddy's recently audited some very bad men. They're part of the gang called the Yellow Scarves; I think the informant works for them." "I see, so you crossed their paths when you audited some higher members?" Paul thought out loud. "That's right. That's probably why they're targeting Ana; to use her against me," Daddy was selling the story really well. If they bought it, it would kill two birds with one stone. The Yellow Scarves and the Dollars have been enemies since forever. If they caught their informant, the Yellow Scarves couldn't find Jack Hyde- whoever he is- and the Yellow Scarves would have to bribe Mr. Black a lot of money to keep quiet. And no, they wouldn't snitch on us; the Dollars so much powerful and richer than the Yellow Scarves. Snitching was a dead sentence in the mob world; unless you're a sneaky informant who wants to turn on their bosses.

"So… they're after Ana to get revenge against you?" Officer Jones scratched under his chin. "No; they wouldn't send an informant if it was just that. Informants are expensive; I know, I just audited them," he flashed me a brilliant side-smirk. Clever, Daddy; I don't ever think I could be like him, no matter how much school I attended. "No, they want something else. Confidential information likely," Daddy tacked on. "What confidential information would Ana possibly have that would be useful to brutes like them?" Paul asked seriously.

"That's just the point; I don't know. He'll ask her questions and- god forbid- make her talk about things which don't seem important, but that's not how this works. Seemingly innocent questions can have malicious intent behind them. I should know; we do that in auditing all the time." "He's right, Clayton; we do that too here," officer Doyle looked at Paul concerned. "Hmmmmmm, I guess Ana wouldn't know which questions are innocent and which aren't." "Hey! I'm not that dumb!"

"No one's calling you dumb, honey," Daddy sent me down a reassuring glance. "You're father's right, Miss Steele. This is a very delicate situation; mobsters can be sneaky, and you have no experience with them. They can be very dangerous." Daddy and I just looked at each other; oh, the painful irony. "Well, gentlemen; what are you doing to do about my daughter's safety? They're obviously targeting those associated with me."

"Don't worry, Mr. Steele. I promise nothing will happen to your daughter," Paul tried to reassure him. "Yes, we'll figure this out. Just leave it to us, right officer Doyle?" "That's right, sir." While all these policemen were trying to give confidence to my father, Mr. Grey was silent for a time. I took the opportunity to peer over at him through the corner of my eye. He was watching me while nibbling ponderingly on one of his thumbs. It wasn't for another moment or two that he finally spoke again; this time in a much lower, softer tone.

"What if Anastasia had some protection?" "Well, that's obvious. Thanks for that insightful piece of wisdom, Grey," Paul rolled his eyes once more. "No, I don't mean a bodyguard. I mean more intimate, indirect protection. That way she could continue living her normal life without drawing any unwanted attention to herself." "What did you have in mind, young man?" Daddy blinked over to Mr. Grey, curious. Mr. Grey looked at me and began to grin. "What if Anastasia had a fake boyfriend?"


	20. Watching my Choices Vanish

"A fake boyfriend for Ana?" I was seriously surprised when Paul didn't automatically turn down this idea; he was such a practical man, and this seemed to be anything but. Instead however, his eyes scrolled out into nowhere as his thumb rubbed under his chin in a thoughtful manner. I can't believe he- of all people- was actually considering something like this. Eventually Paul blinked back to me with a decided look on his face. "Yeah, that could work. I could be your fake boyfriend, Ana." Paul! My eyes began to grow astonished.

"Who said anything about you?" Mr. Grey instantly cut in, positioning himself securely between me and the detective. Once again, the two were glaring daggers at each other. Gees, I don't get what their deal is, my eyes inwardly rolled. "Who else did you have in mind? Not some pompous, CEO playboy like yourself I'm sure." Wait, shouldn't this be my decision? It would be my fake relationship, after all. Hold on, I mentally had to check myself. That almost sounds like I approved of the idea- no way! I don't wanna be a fake girlfriend…. do I? _"Either you succeed me or marry the man who does." _Do I?

"You can't do it, Clayton! We need you here, helping us with the case," officer Doyle suddenly begged, as if he realized the implications of being a "fake boyfriend". "I can do both," Paul stated with an air of solid confidence. Mr. Grey was not impressed. "No, you can't. Whoever guards Anastasia is going to need to give their full attention." "Oh, says the head of a major cooperation. Yeah, you're the perfect guy for the job in that case," my dear friend retorted, like he had just won the argument. But Mr. Grey being Mr. Grey just happened to have a card up his sleeve. He grinned knowingly and relaxed his posture a smidgen.

"I am, in fact. Miss Steele happens to be my personal intern; I'll make it so she's by my side all day. Our ahem, personal relationship will extend to after office hours." I'm pretty sure I've said this before but man, if looks could kill…. Paul was not having it; not at all. He simply glowered over at Mr. Grey with the all bitterness and hate that one gaze could achieve. Turns out Mr. Grey wasn't the only one with an ace in his sleeve.

"You can't date Ana; that would be illegal, in case you've forgotten your contract, sir. Bosses can't date their interns under any circumstances." "Uh, well technically they can, just so long as there's no sex or physical intimacy," officer Doyle had the gull to blurt out loud. This made everyone in the room physically uncomfortable, particularly me. I turned beet red, now staring down at my hands. Sex- or hugging passionately as I liked to call it- was something I never thought about, much less sought after. I thought I'd deal with all that when I'm married, but I'm a PhD candidate; who has time for that now?

Daddy stiffened up, Paul stared downward, and Mr. Grey cleared his throat. Yep! Definitely awkward. "This does not violate Anastasia's internship contract. It would be a fake relationship, after all," Mr. Grey finally cleared up, though it was insanely uncomfortable. "Exactly; no… no any of that," Paul couldn't even look at Mr. Grey while he said this. "So…. you would just pretend to be Miss Steele's boyfriend, is that it?" Officer Jones asked Mr. Grey. "Who says he gets to do it?" Oh boy, we're back on this again. "It was my idea. Besides, Anastasia and I are already going to spend so much time together; it only makes sense." "It doesn't make sense at all! You don't even know her; and I don't trust your ability to protect her. That's two strikes," Paul held up two fingers, cause that's mature.

"Anastasia will be perfectly safe with me. I can take care of it." "Not "it", Grey; "her". And last I checked, I'm the one responsible for handling this whole fascio." "You can, detective Clayton; from the station." "Listen, you….!"

"Gentlemen," Daddy- who had been contemplating quietly this whole time- spoke for the first time in minutes. This caught everyone's attention, even the feuding pair over here. It's hard to explain but Daddy had this authoritative aura about him at all times. I was immune to it by now, but I saw it work on tons of grown, deadly men before. Daddy was your typical mob boss- he commanded respect, even without saying anything. He waited for everyone to stop talking before he continued.

"I appreciate your differing positions, but I think it's fair that this decision be mine." Both Paul and Mr. Grey seemed taken aback by this. I wasn't surprised at all, however. Daddy had this "old man" mentality; when it came to men being around his treasured baby girl, he made sure everyone involved knew who was ultimately in charge. Maybe this didn't bother me so much because I'd never really had a boyfriend before. The closest I've ever gotten to a guy is to Paul, and even then, my crush on him didn't work out in high school. Daddy didn't seem overly protective or controlling with men because there were simply no men before. I just watched him while everyone else began to squirm nervously.

"But before I decide anything, I'd like to speak with my daughter alone please." Uh oh. They all looked at one another before they all exited without another word. Officer Jones shut the door behind him. Daddy waited until we were alone; then he tested the room for microphones with this device on his watch. You'd be surprise what underground money can create for gangsters. When he was sure the room wasn't tapped, he turned to face me directly; his face much firmer this time.

"What did he say last night?" I knew who he meant right away. "He's looking for Jack Hyde; he's working for the Yellow Scarves. It seems like Jack's gone into hiding." "I had a feeling," his eyes drifted off into space for a second. "Anything else?" Daddy then asked me. "I'm apparently the last one who talked to him, back at the manor. He probably disappeared that night." "That's likely the case…."

A pause interrupted our conversation; I could tell Daddy was thinking hard about all this. Eventually his eyes moved back onto my figure. "Listen to me, Anastasia; Black's one of the more dangerous informants. If he wants information from you, he'll find a way to get it." "But I've literally told him everything I know about Jack." That's true; I did. Daddy's head just shook. "That doesn't matter, sweetheart. You're my daughter, my heir and successor; that's practically sufficient. You know that…." My eyes lowered slowly. Yeah… yeah, I did; no matter how much I tried to forget it.

"Here's what you're going to do. You're going to enter a fake relationship with that Grey fellow, and you're gonna stay in it until my men take care of Black." "Mr. Grey? W-why him?" This make me blink in shock. Mr. Grey wasn't a low-eye figure; I knew I had to trust Daddy but I wasn't sure this was the best way to keep me hidden from Black's prying eye. "Grey's perfect. He's got a clean record and is most likely clueless of the city's underworld. He won't ask the wrong questions." "You… did a background check on him, didn't you?" "You'd think I'd let you work for an ex-criminal, darling?" Ah, he had a point there.

"Yeah, but Daddy, Mr. Grey's rich; and not like "us" rich. He's open rich, and famous in the business world. I'll be very exposed if… I'm his girlfriend," that was both charming and terrifying to say. His head gave a shake once more. "You'll be exposed to the business world; not the one that matters." My eyes began to drift forward attentively….. Not the one that matters, huh?

"Still…. why does it have to be Mr. Grey?" Doesn't it make more sense for it to be….? Daddy watched me intently for a moment before digging his hands firmly in his pockets. "You really like that Clayton boy, don't you?" My head shot up alarmed. "N-no! I mean not anymore; he shot me down in high school….." Not a pleasant memory to relive. "I see the way you look at him; you never look at anyone like that." "Daddy, he's my friend. He's very precious to me, but… I don't think he likes me like that," my gaze started to unconsciously drift off again. "Are you saying Clayton's dear to you?" "Yes- yes, I am, Daddy."

Our eyes locked for a moment, then he let out an exasperated sigh. "All the more reason for Grey to be your fake boyfriend." "Daddy!" "Don't forget, Anastasia; you can't fall in love with either of them. If you already like Clayton, then it's best to keep your distance. It'll nip any heartbreak in the bud." "Why… why I can't just have this one thing?" My hands balled into tight fists. No choices….. I have no control; not anymore. "You know why, sweetheart. We both know you're gonna marry a Dollar. I've known that since the day you were born." No control, no freedom….. "You need a man who will run the gang alongside you." I don't have a say…. "It doesn't matter if you love him or not; what matters is you staying safe." _"You're going to replace me, Anastasia. No matter what, you need to stay at the center."_ I can't fall love….. _"You're my daughter. Do you have any idea the target that paints on your back?"_ Just like my career choice, love is a luxury I can't enjoy. Love is just one of many things that has been snatched away from me. Jumping in front of that knife was the last choice I ever made for myself….. _"I'm sorry, Miss Steele; you won't be able to have children."_

My very last choice.


	21. Hold My Hand

[When did I learn that Ana was special? I think it was when we were fifteen. She was walking up the stairs opposite an elderly woman and young child. She and the child smiled at each other before continuing; it was around then that I arrived at the top of the staircase to meet her- we were going to walk to school together.

Ana waved at me happily, then the old woman squeaked. Ana's head spun to see her starting to lose her balance mid-step. Not skipping a beat, I watched in horror as Ana's hand desperately reached for the old lady. In the end, the elderly woman and child were fine….

Ana wound up with a broken arm.]

Daddy tapped on the office door and everyone re-entered. I didn't meet any of their gazes; I was pursing my lips, trying desperately not to cry. That's usually how I dealt with reality-checks like this; I cried until I felt better. But I couldn't do that now, though I desperately wanted to. All noticed my solemn demeaner, though didn't address it right away.

Daddy proceeded to inform Mr. Grey that he would be my ahem, fake boyfriend for the foreseeable future. He then told the police to do everything in their power to find the informant and bring him in. No one said anything right away; they just looked at each other a bit awkwardly. When I'd finally had enough, I suddenly stood up and walked out of the room. "Ana!" "Anastasia?" Of course this confused and startled everyone but Daddy. They trailed out after me, meaning that I couldn't go far. Paul reached me first, placing his hands on my shoulders and gently turning me to face him.

"Hey! Hey, hey, hey; it's ok. There's nothing to be afraid of. It's just a fake relationship. It means nothing…. It means nothing," he repeated, giving Mr. Grey a sharp glare. "Anastasia, are you really so against this?" Ignoring Paul's comment, Mr. Grey watched me carefully. My eyes just drifted between him and the detective. My lips instinctively parted a sliver. _"Don't forget, Anastasia; you can't fall in love with either of them."_ No words fell from my mouth; what was I supposed to say? No, I wasn't against having a fake boyfriend…. not that I actively wanted one. But still…. Still….

"You'll have to excuse my daughter, gentlemen. She's had a rough night, and this is a lot for her to process," Daddy spoke for me. They seemed to buy this… for some reason; collectively nodding their heads while still staring my way. "He's right. I think the best thing is for Miss Steele to go home now. We'll handle it from here, sir," officer Jones told Daddy. "Thank you," they shook hands. Mr. Grey's eyes didn't leave me; he reached out his hand for mine. "Come. I'll drive you home." Before Paul could challenge this, Daddy shot Mr. Grey a powerful yet friendly look. "I'll drive her home, young man. That'll be your job after tonight." "Y-yes, sir," Mr. Grey suddenly blinked frazzled by this.

Paul didn't let me get one last look at Mr. Grey or the policemen; with his arm wrapped securely around my shoulder, he walked me out of the station- Daddy and Mr. Grey were right behind us. Once we reached Daddy's car, Daddy turned to face me. "I have a statement to sign. Wait here, I'll be right back," he directed at me. I quietly nodded. Once he was gone, Paul and Mr. Grey had their glares sharply on each other once again; not that I was paying attention to that right now. No, there was lots, lots more on my mind at the moment….

"Alright, you win this round; you're Ana's fake boyfriend." "Apparently so," Mr. Grey couldn't stop himself from smirking in victory. Paul growled protectively. "If you lay one hand on her…." "That's none of your business, detective," Mr. Grey's grin quickly faded. "Yes, it is. Intimacy with your intern is against the law. Last I checked, that is my business." "Well, I…."

"Ana, come on, honey; let's go," Daddy quickly returned. Mr. Grey stepped out of his way and Daddy got into the car. Then my boss spun his head so to smile at me. "Have a relaxing night, Anastasia. Come to my office first thing tomorrow morning." "Oh, great way to stop this off- boss her around some more, why don't ya?" Mr. Grey shot Paul a glare; it was the pot calling the kettle black- Paul was always bossing me around. Still, I guess the dynamic was different now that Mr. Grey was my…. fake boyfriend. The very thought made my cheeks sizzle a bit. Good god, what have we done? What have I done?

Seeing my flustered and distressed expression, both men gazed down at me concernedly. "Anastasia?" "Ana? Are you ok?" "I… I have to go home now," was all I could get out. Mr. Grey nodded and opened the car door for me. When my feet didn't move however, I could feel Paul's eyes burn a hole right through me. What happened next was so unexpected that I physically didn't react; neither did Mr. Grey- it was that stunning.

Paul took my hand in his, just like last night. Within the blink of an eye, I was gently yanked around and pressed up against him. Paul… Paul was hugging me. This wasn't our first time; we'd hugged lots in our youth. But…. this…. this was the first time Paul ever initiated an embrace- and I do mean that literally. It was so abrupt and out of nowhere that all I could do was stand there, letting him hold me close; very close. Though it was only a second before he said anything, it felt much longer. This… this was the most intimate I'd been with a guy since I could remember.

"I know you're scared, but you don't have to worry. I'm here…. I'm still here." I don't know why… but the moment he said this, tears started to unconsciously drip down my cheeks. "You can always call me; I'll be there in a flash. Ok?" Paul… more tears. _"You can't fall in love with either of them." _Jesus, why did he have to hold that way? Why does Mr. Grey have to be my fake boyfriend? Why does this have to be so damn hard? Is there any way I can get that one choice- to fall in love with whoever I want- back? Isn't there a way?

"You're not alone, Ana; I promise you, you're not alone." I… I want to make a choice again- this specific choice. Though I know deep down it's impossible. No matter how badly I'll want it someday, how much I wanted it in the past…. I want to hold your hand, but I can't. Paul's shoulder was all wet by now; I just continued to stand there motionless and without words. Whether it's Paul's or Mr. Grey's or some other man's hand, I can't hold it. Even though my heart keeps screaming "I want the choice". If I can't hold my child's hand, I want to hold my future lover's.

Please….. please hold my hand.


	22. Mr Bodyguard

Maybe that's why I haven't let myself fall back in love with Paul….. _"I'm telling you, Ana; Paul likes you. It's so obvious to everyone."_ Even if that's true, I can't do anything about it. On top of which… I don't want to hurt him.

With a long sigh, I opened my apartment door. "I'm home," I always announced this when I came in. Yes, I live alone but it's an old habit from my time living in the manor. I had just enough time to toss my backpack down onto the floor and kick off my converse until….

"There you are." Holy shot! I literally stumbled backwards a few steps at the familiar- but not too familiar- voice. My eyes shot over to see Mr. Bodyguard standing in the middle of my living room. Mr. Bodyguard?! The same guy who was chasing the informant last night? What the hell is he doing here?! How did he get inside? My head was swarming with questions at the unexpected sight of this underground tank. He, however….

"Where the hell have you been?" Mr. Bodyguard shoved his palm hands into his pockets as he spun to face me. "W-what… what are you doing here?!" I found the voice to scream at him quite quickly this time. This didn't seem to amuse him whatsoever. "What do you think I'm doing? I'm looking for Black." Oh, ok…. so why are you here, then? Questions still need to be answered. "How did you get inside?!" "Your old man gave me a key." Of course… I understood everything now; Daddy must have hired this mercenary before coming to the police station.

"I'm surprised Daddy got someone on the outside involved. You're not a Dollar." "I'm the closest thing you have to an ally; as if I'd ever associate myself with those dumbass Yellow Scarves," his arms folded defiantly. I never said you would, I frowned; just like the cops, I wasn't used to dealing with underground mercenaries. "Where's the phone?" He then asked me. Widening my eyes, I ran to my room to find the flip-phone on the floor. I promptly brought it to him; he took it, instantly crushing it in his hand. Damn, this guy is strong! I didn't say anything more, just gazing up at him.

Mr. Bodyguard frowned, actually baring his teeth. Boy, did someone look pissed off, though not at me. He was glaring off into space right now, most likely thinking about the informant. "That flea…. I told him never to come back here." You really think an informant is going to listen to you, or anyone for that matter? He growled dangerously. "How dare he…. He's such a disgusting, despicable, little flea." Gees, they must have some history, but I knew better than to ask; the fuse on this guy looked so short. "Damn it, damn it, damn it; so pissed off….." he began pacing a little in the centre of the room. I just stood to the side and watched. He wasn't a Dollar; he had no inherent loyalty to me or the Steele clan. Making him madder was not the best option at the moment.

"When I get my hands on him… Just leave it to me; I'll find that dead man," though he didn't say this to me exactly- I don't think he cared about me at all. My eyes grew in shock however when he suddenly reached over to grab hold of my forearm. Holy crap; I was right. This man is strong! He didn't appear to be trying at all, and it already felt like I was losing blood circulation in my arm. "Come on, we're going." "Um! Where are we going?!" I don't remember agreeing to go anywhere with this brute! "Get changed. We're gonna get you a new phone." New phone? Oh….

Oh no.


	23. Ana in the Underworld

[Hey, Anastasia. I just wanted to check in and make sure you're alright] I had to ignore Mr. Grey's text. Mr. Bodyguard and I walked side-by-side down the street on our way to…. on our way to the Five-Way Catacomb. God, I hated going down there. It wasn't a real Catacomb; that's just what it was called…. for some reason. I don't know where the "Five-Way" came from either; you'd have to ask the Dollar's fore-founders on that one.

Everyone at the manor made it clear that I was expressly forbidden to go down there alone, not that anything would likely happen to me if I did. Gotta air on the side of caution though. Whenever I went down there, I wore all black, men's clothes; black, baggy jeans, black shirt, and black hoodie with hood up- at least we were downstairs. I honestly looked like a guy with my hair and face hidden by the wide hood; a puny, lanky boy but still. Neither Mr. Bodyguard nor I said a word our way down there. Honestly, I don't know why he saw fit to drag me along; wasn't that just more inconvenient for him? Still, Daddy had this thing about showing me off in the underground community; in a safe setting of course. He knew I'd be more than safe with this guy. He'd probably break anyone's arm who dared try to touch me; and wouldn't hesitate either. That didn't make me feel as good as you think it might.

We arrived at the back-alley door and after a quick check around, Mr. Bodyguard pressed some numbers in this door lock on the wall. The door unlocked and he held it open for me. Without a thank you, I entered onto the metal, holey ramp. The first thing it hit you was the smell; it smelt like smoke, grease, sweat, and all that nastiness. Mr. Bodyguard shut the door and motioned for me to descend the clanky stairs, following right behind. This little light in front of us where all the noise was coming from got progressively larger as we approached it. Reaching the entrance, didn't hesitate to wrap his arm securely around my shoulder. He didn't look at me once, but he held me close. Guess his orders were clear.

Words cannot describe how much I hate this place. It's not only a Dollar's hidden lair; lots of smaller, allied gangs hung out here as well, though a lot of Dollars did come here. This is where gangsters came for practically everything. Needed a weapon? Five-Way Catacomb. Wanted cheap drugs? Five-Way Catacomb. Hire a hitman? Five-Way Catacomb. Sex and booze? You guessed it. This place was a gross, unrespectable, and nowhere a PhD candidate should be in her right mind. There were underworld vendors and specialists; there were even discreet doctors and surgeons. Just rows and rows of illegal stalls and countless mobsters. Coming down here for anyone outside the gang world was a death sentence. For someone like me however….

Even with my hood up, some people- mostly Dollars- recognized who I was. Now, one thing you gotta know about the Steele clan is that we are a mob lord family; we basically rule the whole Dollar operation. And let me tell you, this is no little operation. Only like ten percent of the Dollars ever got invited to the official manor, and even that might be too much. They don't call me the "Mob Princess" for no reason; I was practically royalty, a celebrity down here. That, I hated too. Imagine being the heir to a massive, very wealthy empire you don't even want. It's horrible, especially when you consider that I can't even marry for love to help myself get through this. Heh, just like a real historical princess.

People spotted me, whispered amongst themselves, but didn't dare say a word to me outright. You didn't want to be on Daddy's bad side- ever. Plus I had like one of the strongest men out there clinging to me currently. Yeah, I had my protection down here, to say the least. We eventually reached the burner phone booth; this little knack of a place in the corner of the building. An old man with grey hair, a hat, and round glasses was working there. He saw Mr. Bodyguard first, then he saw me.

"One phone," was all Mr. Bodyguard had to say. By now, he had thankfully retracted his arm and I pulled down my hood; we were in a quiet enough session. The vendor nodded, pulling out an old, maybe 2005's flip phone and box of phone chips. That's what they did; they let you pull out your own phone chip at random to make it harder to track you. Mr. Bodyguard did so, putting the chip in the phone hurriedly.

While he was busy with that, I glanced around, praying not to see any rats run by. Instead of actual rats, one man- who was sitting at one of the more prestigious eateries, if you could call it that- eyed me. He came over to where I was standing, giving me this half-friendly grin. I knew this guy, but not his name; he was another influential Dollar, someone working very close under Daddy. I'd never spoken to him in person before; only seen him at the manor once or twice. I don't think I trusted this man, and it wasn't just his sleezy smile either.

"Well, well, well. How lucky are we to be graced by the presence of royalty? Hello there, little princess." Ugh, "little". Powerful men would call me that all the time, despite me being twenty-eight years old and five-foot-six. "Good evening….." I knew Daddy would want me to be polite, if not nice to him; though I had trouble meeting his gaze. "What are you doing down here? You Steeles never come literally underground unless absolutely necessary." "Just picking up something." "I see…." His eyes rolled to the insanely strong man standing not far behind us. He knew he better watch his words carefully; that was of the only perks of having the Hulk escort you.

"My, it must have been bad for your father to hire him." "An informant named Black approached me last night," no need to hide this from a fellow Dollar; he'd learn about it eventually- particularly when the informant was eventually caught. "Black?! What did he want with you? No offence, sweetheart, but you're our princess; not our queen yet," his eyes grew in shock. Thank god for that. "He wanted information on this guy named uh, Jack Hyde. He's gone into hiding it looks like." "Hyde?" "He infiltrated the manor last weekend." "You spoke to him?!" More surprise. "Apparently I'm the last one who did. I told the informant this; I don't know what else he wants with me." "I wonder…." His fat finger ran under his chin ponderingly. Then he gazed back to me; that felt really awkward.

"Ah, don't worry, princess. Your Daddy and us will fix everything; don't you concern your pretty, little head over it." "Uh, right….. thanks," I had to fight a cringe so bad. He scanned me up and down once more; this was borderline creepy now. Come on, Mr. Bodyguard! Hurry up and finish so we can get the heck outta here! If I never come down here again, it'll be too soon.

"You're what? Like twenty-six now?" "Twenty-eight, sir," I actually cringed this time. "You look so young…" I wasn't sure if he meant this as a compliment or not; he said it more like an observation than anything. "Are you still in school?" "Just starting my PhD." "PhD, huh? You're a smart one." "No, not really," I waved my hand in the air, trying not to look too grossed out. "So, that's three more years….. then what?" "Huh?" This question took me back a bit. "Then what" what? Then I find a job and start writing; I thought that seemed obvious. Apparently not.

This mobster watched me intensely for another moment before smiling- he actually smiled pleased down at me. "Well, three years isn't a long time. I'm sure by then you'll be ready to settle down." "I beg your pardon?" I had an idea what he meant by this, but really hoped I was wrong. "Do you have a boyfriend?" "N-not at the moment….." I sputtered, completely forgetting about my fake boyfriend for a moment. Where was he going with this? He chuckled, almost lustfully. "Well, I bet school doesn't leave you a lot of time to date. You still have plenty of time." "T-time for what?" Oh god, why isn't Mr. Bodyguard done yet?

"Hasn't Steele told you? We expect a wedding sooner or later; gotta carry on that Steele name." I don't think my mouth could have dropped harder. It was one thing for Daddy to talk about marriage; it was a whole other thing for Dollars who I barely knew to bring it up. I mean I was supposed to be in charge of this creep one day! He clearly didn't respect me; just saw me as some glorified breeding machine. Talk about disgusting. While I frowned, completely affronted, he pointed to a younger man sitting behind him. It was another Dollar with two girls on his lap and a cigar in his mouth; he didn't notice me at all, looking perfectly happy in his current company.

"My son's about your age. You two should get together and meet sometime," he said this like it was a genuine offer. Oh, hell no! I merely shook my head. "Uh, t-thank you, sir. But like you said, school's keeping me pretty busy at the moment." "Oh, don't worry, honey. I've already made it clear to him- he won't knock any girls up before you make your choice." I felt like vomiting in my mouth. He's actually considered me and his womanizing son before? Like even before we've met in person? This gave "arranged marriages" a whole new meaning in my eyes. This is how men- especially older men- spoke to me in the underworld. Zero respect, and all because I'm a woman. If this is infuriating to hear, that's because it is. It's no wonder I didn't want to be the boss of any of these people. Granted, some were very respectful and protective, but the majority were just like him. He didn't care if me and his stupid, gross son got along; he- like many others- had their eyes on my inheritance. I was the biggest jackpot in their eyes. Hence, the term "princess".

"His name's Jacob. I'll bring him around the manor sometime." "Uh…. um… I-I… I really can't get involved with anyone right now! Don't want my schoolwork to suffer!" "No one's talking about marriage right now, princess; you still have time. But remember, sooner or later these kinds of things will need to be sorted out. Plus…" his smile widened, and I had to hold back vomit again.

"Your babies would be smart and beautiful."


	24. Why

_I want to hold her; I want to beg her to be my wife. But I know it's too soon. I'll have to be patient and let her fall for me organically. _

_Of course, contracts never hurt anything. _

Ok, ok… Get it together, Ana; you can't let your feelings get in the way. No matter how gorgeous Mr. Grey is, or how much you want to stare into his endless, blue eyes, you can't. Be a stonewall; this is a fake relationship only. No touching, no affection; nothing like that. You can't let yourself like Christian Grey…. cause that'll only end in heartbreak for you later on.

Sucking in a deep, stilling breath, I opened Mr. Grey's office door. He was already inside, along with Jason. They both automatically turned at my arrival. I didn't even look at them as I shut the door behind me. God, this was already awkward as hell.

"Good morning, Miss Steele." Ok, great! We're back to formalities again; it'll be easier to keep my emotional distance if he doesn't use my first name. Content with that, I spun around to grin professionally at both men. "Good morning, Mr. Grey; Jason." "Morning," Jason smiled my way. "Did you have a good night?" Mr. Grey then asked me. Oh boy…. "Uh, y-yeah. It was…. alright." Alright, indeed. If he knew where I was, he'd fire me on the spot and have me tossed out of the building. Good thing he'll never find out about any of that.

"We were just discussing moving your desk into my office." Ok, that floored me. I know Mr. Grey said he wanted to keep me close as his um, false bae; but this seemed like much too much. "Taylor, would you please….?" "On it," with one last look at our boss, Jason exited the room. I watched him, wincing my eyes shut when Mr. Grey called me again. "Anastasia?" No! It was so much easier the other way.

I reluctantly peered back to see my boss beckoning me closer to him. I took a few steps- just a few. He opened his desk drawer and pulled out a file. Needless to say, I blinked confused as he handed it to me. "It's our relationship contract." "R-relationship contract?" My lips echoed in a sputter. "For our new arrangement." "M-Mr. Grey! I don't think we need a contract for something like this! It is just…. a fake relationship, after all." "Nevertheless, I think it important for us to be on the same page. You are to read it over in the next few days, then we'll discuss it in private." "Sir, I really don't think this is necessary, or appropriate….. I mean… it's not like this is real or anything."

Mr. Grey didn't respond immediately, electing to merely stare at me instead. His face was firm and very stern; once again, I don't think he was used to hearing the word "no" much before. Eventually though, his eyes narrowed onto me. "Are you planning to defy me the whole time, Anastasia?" "Not intentionally, sir. I just don't…. want this to get overcomplicated," my eyes scrolled down thoughtfully. Knowing Daddy and Mr. Bodyguard, Black will be caught any day now, and then this…. will be history. My father will make sure of that.

My fake boyfriend observed me for another quiet, brief moment. "Do you trust me?" What? This question was so out of nowhere that I couldn't help but turn up to meet his piercing gaze. That's when our eyes met…. And I was reminded how perfect his eyes were. "W-What?" "Do you trust me, Anastasia?" "I-I… I guess I do?" I mean he's never given me a reason not to trust him. If anything, it's me he shouldn't trust; I'll be the first to admit that. When I said this however, the lines on his face began to soften.

"Then trust me, I'm doing this for you. I want to know your limits and only do what you are comfortable with." My grip on the file tightened. He's doing this for me…. Why? The image of Mr. Grey tackling that Yellow Scarf to the ground on the night we met flashed through my mind. Why is he always doing stuff for me? "Mr. Grey, can I ask you something?" "Please," he grinned slightly. Well, here goes nothing. "W-why?"

"Huh?" His mouth contorted to one of confusion. "Why…. why are you always so nice to me? Why are always trying to help? I mean, we barely even know each other. And yet, you always… I'm just…. confused," my eyes drifted downwards again. "Why?" Mr. Grey asked himself, also glanced down. Neither of us spoke for a while after that. I did hold my breath however, when he unexpectedly took a step towards me. He was close enough that he could put his hand on the file and move it down a tad. "Anastasia….." I wanted to ask him to answer my question but couldn't find the breath.

"Have dinner with me tonight." "You… didn't answer my question." And I swear I could hear him smile; a genuine, happy smile. That was the first time Mr. Grey had smiled that way around me….. "That's an order, Miss Steele."


	25. Closeness

Mr. Grey pulled my chair out for me first. Then he pushed it in and sat down opposite me. I told him I didn't want to go anywhere fancy, so he brought me to a not-so-ritzy-but-still-high-end restaurant. We ordered; both getting the steak with mashed potatoes. He's a man of good taste in food, at least. Once the waiter was gone, Mr. Grey rested his elbows on the white tablecloth and stared at me.

"Not into fancy dining?" "I've never really liked eating in restaurants. We ate a lot at home when I was younger; I guess I developed a liking of it." Mr. Grey considered this for a second. "Your father, he's an auditor?" "Of sorts," I took a sip of my water, really not wanting to continue this conversation on my dad's work. To my surprise, Mr. Grey seemed to take the cue. He sat back more casually and folded his hand loosely together.

"He's very protective of you, isn't he?" "Yes. He's always been like that." "And your mother? Is she the same?" Oh god, my mother…. "Uh, n-no. My mom is….." I couldn't finish, instead electing to stare down at my hands. A slight shade of horror washed over Mr. Grey's face. "I'm sorry. How old were you when she…..?" "Three days old. She… died in the hospital," after being stabbed by a rival gang member. Daddy never talked about the incident or her; I learned all this from Jerome when I was ten years old. He told me after I asked why I didn't have a mother- like seemingly at all. It's also the reason why Daddy's so protective over me; he only wants to lose one woman in his life I bet.

"You were so young! Did your father raise you all alone?" "Well, no; we had a lot of… family around to help out." And how. Mr. Grey nodded. "You come from a big family, then?" "I guess you could say that," my eyes lowered. None of this was technically lying… but it still felt weird, namely because for some reason….. I didn't want to lie to him. I didn't feel emotionally comfortable lying to Mr. Grey; wasn't sure if this was a good sign or not.

"What about you? What's your family like?" I decided now was the perfect opportunity to get off the topic of my ahem, "family". Mr. Grey blinked up at me, a little taken aback by my question. I doubt he was used to talking about himself; at least this openly. "My mother's a doctor; my father's a lawyer and businessman. They adopted me, my sister Mia, and my brother Elliot." "You're adopted?!" This surprised me, which in turn also surprised me. He nodded gently. "It's not something I usually share with people." I can see why…. wait, no I can't. It's nothing to be ashamed of. It's not like you came from a multi-millionaire gang lord clan or anything; insert eyeroll at the irony here.

"We don't have to talk about this if you don't want to, Mr. Grey. We can talk about whatever you want." "How do you know the detective from the station?" Oh, what a wonderful turn; great job there, Ana. He didn't even hesitate to ask. "He's a childhood friend; we met in junior high." "He seems to like you a great deal," I detected a peppering of jealousy in his tone. "I doubt it; he turned me down in high school." "That was what, ten years ago? People's tastes change." Gees, he wasn't going to let this go, was he? I let out a sly, exasperated sigh. "Well, it wouldn't make a difference now." "What makes you say that?" He sounded a little stunned by my comment. "He's a close friend; that's how I want it to stay," I said flatly. That's wholly true; if Daddy suspected that I loved Paul…. I wanted him close. And that meant staying in the friendship zone- at least on my side. I can't love Paul…. I can't.

Mr. Grey had the curtesy to wait a minute before resuming the conversation. "Anastasia, may I tell you something?" I nodded slowly. He leaned in a smidgen towards me. "You always have this air of sadness about you." My eyes began to grow. I do? I suppose that makes sense; I wasn't particularly happy with life right now. A dangerous informant was searching for me, Daddy hired the Hulk to track him down and probably kill him, I can't marry for love, and to top it off, I'll be head of the Dollars one day. Put that way, it's no wonder I looked depressed. Mr. Grey didn't seem satisfied with this though.

"Did something happen?" No reply on my end; I can't talk about any of this to him. I merely gazed down at my clasped hands on my lap. "Anastasia?" Still nothing. Then he sighed, sitting back in his chair and rubbing his finger over his lip in a pondering fashion. "Now you tell me something." "Huh?" I blinked up at him puzzled. "I just told you something; now it's your turn." "Uh, what do you want me to say?" "Anything. Tell me a secret." A secret, huh? Well here's one…. but it's not a secret from him.

"I want to fall in love and get married someday," I blurted out faster than expected. "What?" This appeared to befuddle him, to which I continued. "I want real love; I want to marry whoever I please." If I can't have a normal life, then I at least want an ordinary love life. Though this wasn't a secret from Mr. Grey; it was one I had to keep from Daddy and the Dollars, despite them likely already knowing.

"A-Anastasia!" Mr. Grey gasped; I don't think this is what he had in mind. But I could see him quickly putting the mental pieces together; his eyes revealed everything…. He looked at me; looked at me and reflected. "Why is that a secret? I should think that's obvious." "Not for me," I frowned. When neither of us said anything more, staring into each other's eyes, I smiled. To be honest, it felt kinda good telling someone that. Usually I had to keep all of those negative feelings bottled up inside of me, and although it wasn't much, it was still something. Something very dear and important to my heart- and he was the first person on earth I'd told this. That made me feel…. good. And for the first time in a long time, I smiled. Just like him back at the office, I sincerely smiled.

Of course, Mr. Grey noticed this right away; his own face lighting up a little in automatic response. "Ok, now you tell me a secret." "A secret?" He blinked, startled by my sudden prompting. Still, I continued to radiate a smile. "Anything; whatever you're comfortable with." "Well, what did you have in mind?" "Hmmmmm, tell me more about that brunette you mentioned at the tea shop….. only if you want to!" I had to add in the proviso. He stared at me for the longest second, looking a little shell-shocked. I think he was actually lost for words at first. I was about to start apologizing when he then also smiled- a glorious, perfect smile. And his eyes….. don't even get me started. I could admire his beauty without falling in love, right?

"She's someone very dear to my heart; she's been there for eight years now." Oh, I wonder if she died or left him or something. He didn't sound sad when he spoke about her; not like last time. "Where is she now? Is she….?" "She's close now…. But it was her who made me realize…

Closeness has nothing to do with distance."


	26. First a Fake Boyfriend, Now Fake Cousin

"A fake boyfriend?! Are you for real?" Unfortunately. "It's not a good thing, Kate. Mr. Grey is only my temporary fake boyfriend until that informant is caught," I told everything about the other night- minus the Dollar-related stuff. "I'd give anything to have Christian Grey as my fake boyfriend," she swooned on my couch. Kate came over to do facemasks and watch documentaries with me; that's how academics spend their evenings. "You can have him if you want him; he won't be my BF for very long." "How can you say that, Ana? You have here the perfect opportunity to bag a rich hottie, and you're just gonna throw it away." "I'm not throwing anything away. Mr. Grey and I can… will never be an item." "Why not?" She took a sip from her sakura green tea. "B-because…. it would morally wrong. I'm his intern; I don't think my university or the law would like it." "Is that why he gave this relationship contract?" Kate picked up the folder I left on the side couch cushion. She opened it up and began to read.

"This looks more like a questionnaire than a contract." "I don't know; I haven't looked at it yet," I said, going to find one of my Lush facemasks. "How many hours to spend together, locations and people off-limits…. Oooooooh, kissing!" My best friend couldn't contain her squeal. I sighed, stretching over to hand her a pen. "Scratch that one out." "What?! But Ana, Christian could actually kiss you. Why would you want to cross that out?" Easy. My fear is what if he kisses me and…. I like it? Can't miss what I never had. "No kissing- period." "What about cheek or forehead kisses? Can we keep those in?" "Uh, I guess…. sure?" I mean forehead and cheek kisses aren't considered romantic, are they? They seemed harmless enough to me.

"And let me guess, Miss Prude? No sex either?" Kate hummed back to me. "Absolutely not! Scribble that one out in full." "It's not on here," she then noted. This made me blink at the back of her head surprisingly. It's not? Huh… I guess Mr. Grey isn't trying to take advantage of the situation. For some reason, this caused a smile to bloom across my lips; I was already grinning when I turned back to pour myself a cup of freshly brewed tea. That's kind of him…. Really kind.

"Ana, what's the deal with you? Most women would love to be in your shoes right now, but you're acting like you want nothing to do with Christian; at least romantically." I never said that. It's not a thing of "want"; it's something outside my control… I let out another long sigh. "I just….. don't wanna ruin anything. I've got a really good internship and more than that, I want to stay in my university's good books. Everything I do is for my PhD now…." Kinda. "School doesn't have to be your entire world; just at the center of it. There's lots more to the world than just the center," she prodded. "I do have more to my world! There's you and Daddy and my job and Paul and…"

"Paul? Is he the reason you're so reluctant with….?" Kate's eyes widened. "No! I mean no; the situation's the exact same with him. I just…. am not in the position to date anyone; for real, I mean." She eyed me for a moment before leaning back on the couch and returning her gaze to the contract. "You won't always be a student, Ana. Things will get easier in a couple of years; you'll see." You're probably wrong but I really hope you aren't, Kate. I just turned towards the bathroom. "Ready for facemasks?" She nodded, continuing to read over the agreement while drinking her tea.

"Here's one on going out on dates. Want me to read it to you?" "Sure," I was about to enter the bathroom when all of a sudden I heard my front door unlock. Kate and I looked over at the same time to see none other than Mr. Bodyguard barge into my apartment. While Kate wore a horrified expression at the intrusion, my eyes simply rolled. Of course…..

"Who are you?!" We both ignored Kate's question. Mr. Bodyguard stomped into my kitchen, promptly opening up the fridge. "Daddy didn't give you that key so you could come and eat my food whenever you want," I frowned, folding my arms; he didn't even glance my way. "I'm thirsty," he then proceeded to pull out my container of milk and finish its contents. "Um, Ana? What's the man drinking milk in your kitchen?" Kate asked me this time. Oh, great; why did he have to come around now of all times?

"This is my… cousin. Daddy gave him a spare key to my place… for emergencies only," I shot Mr. Bodyguard a lowkey glare at the end of my sentence. "Your cousin?" This completely changed his image in Kate's eyes. Ok, I'll admit Mr. Bodyguard wasn't the ugliest men on the planet. He was really attractive actually; he had this rugged edgy aura about him. As someone who loves dominant, strong men, I noticed this right away. But the scenario put blinders over my eyes; now he looked like some inconsiderate thug who came around without notice and guarded me like a dog when he was here. That's not as romantic as it sounds, particularly when you consider that he's getting paid big bulks to even tolerate me. It's clear he saw me as nothing but a nuisance; some little glass doll to babysit. And he was a horrible babysitter. In Kate's eyes however…..

"Ana, you didn't tell me your cousin was in town." Code talk: you failed to mention that you had a super bangable relative. She ogled Mr. Bodyguard, rubbing her finger under his chin and resisting the urge to lick her lips. "He… just got in," not an exact lie; we did just meet this week. Boy, I say that a lot to justify my actions- bad Ana! Kate flashed him a brilliant smile.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Kate; Ana's best friend." "Yeah, yeah," I hate to laugh at my friends but the look on Kate's face when he said this was priceless. I had to hide a grin with my hand. Mr. Bodyguard placed the empty container on the counter, shoved his hands into his pockets, and headed towards the door. "Let me know if he calls," he told me before leaving. "I will," I sighed, not stopping the door from slamming behind him. "If who calls?" "The informant," I rejoined Kate in the living room. "Your cousin's hot but kind of a dick." "You're telling me," I laughed at that. It felt nice for someone else to say that.

["Hey, do we have any more of those emergency bracelets with trackers in them?" I asked Jones, who was currently resting at his desk with his feet up. "A few, I think. Why?" "I want to give one to Ana," I don't know why I hadn't thought of it earlier. It'll kill two birds with one stone: she'll be able to contact the cops whenever she's in trouble, and I'll be able to locate her if anything happens. I don't have any confidence in Grey's ability to protect Ana. This will make me and hopefully her so much better. Plus…

I kinda liked the idea of her wearing something from me.]


	27. When You Dream

"_Why am I so in love with you? I don't even know what you look like…." I was twenty-five at the time. Sitting on the grass of an endless field under the clearest blue sky, my faceless angel floated close behind me. Her gorgeous, long, brown hair flowed out all around her. _

_She said nothing for the longest time, letting me wallow in my own sea of thoughts. I was right… No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't let myself love another. It's not like I was even trying either…. I never asked for this, but I was still so glad that she was still there inside me. Her essence permeated my every action, every breath I took, every thought I had. This nameless woman, this faceless angel existed inside of me. Hell, I'd say she was a part of me; a very deep, connected part. I loved her, I adored her- and I had no idea where this feeling came from. Maybe it's the fact that I know what she sacrificed for me. Our son popped up inside my mind. I'm aware…. _

"_Tell me, my angel- is it you I love or the real version? Will I love her as much as I love you?" Again, she didn't say anything right away, instead watching me intently from behind. _"There is no difference; I am her and she is me," _she finally answered with that angelic voice of hers._ _"But how can that be? I don't know her; we've never met in person. How can I love someone that I don't even know this much?"_

_Another brief moment of silence_. "But you do know me. I exist in you and you me in every universe, every dimension. That's how I am able to be here with you now." _"Huh? I don't understand," my eyes drifted back to this perfect being. She looked back at me and began to smile. _

"I do not expect you to understand; it is not easy for mortals to understand. There are so many of me and many Christians, each living and eventually meeting in their own dimensions. But I am the One- the original essence each one of them shares. And you- you share the same essence with the One Christian. It's what connects us indefinitely… How you were able to see our son before." _"Teddy," his name fell from my lips. Her smile grew wider as she observed my puzzled reaction._

"That is why you love me, Christian. That is why I jumped in front of the knife to save your life. Course neither of you will remember this while awake; you can only understand here in your dreams." _"But I still love you unconditionally while I'm awake," I stared up at her, still dumbfounded. I didn't feel like any of my questions were being answered. Still, she smiled….. she smiled._ "Your love is so powerful from your true essence that it has seeped over into you in this life. You love me that much…"

_As I continued to watch her, a succession of images followed through my mind like water. It was me, though not the me I knew. She was also there, though still faceless. We were clearly in a different reality- one where we were really intimate. Us meeting in my office; my picking her up when she's drunk; spanking her with my belt; separation and reunion; a stalker stalking her; a masked ball; a proposal and helicopter crash; a wedding and finally…. Our son, playing with me outside and running to his mother's arms. _

_I saw it all in the blink of an eye, and yet it seemed to go for years. I saw my whole other life with this faceless woman. And I couldn't help but feeling that was only one of many, many realities. I think… I think it was truly then that I realized how much I loved, needed this sole woman. She said I wouldn't remember any of this when I woke up the next morning, but I knew she'd still be there- her essence constantly permeating mine. She was always with me… in every reality, with every version of myself…. with the One true me. _

_My soulmate. _

_I simply, effortlessly stared at this vision of loveliness, tears forming in my eyes. After all that, I couldn't image ever looking away from her. I'm one of the lucky few who actually has a soulmate- a true second half. And I wanted nothing but to stay here with her forever. I think she knew this too, as she began to float closer towards me; her arms gently lifting up at her sides. _

"_Stay with me," I whispered through the tears._ "Always." _"No, I mean stay with me; come to me when I'm awake. I'm sick of waiting." Her beautiful eyeless gaze softened onto me._ "Not for a while, I'm afraid." _"How long? Will we get married when we do meet again?" I felt my heart leap for joy when she nodded._ "Yes, we will get married; you will return the favor and save me from tragedy. But that's not for a few years." _"What am I supposed to do until then?" _

_I swear her warm, loving, pink smile returned; it shown down upon me without me actually seeing it. _"Do not worry, I am still here with you. I am always with you." _The last image she showed me was of two angels- a man and a woman. She was faceless, clearly my angel here; but the male… He had long white wings and looked both aged and undying at once. They were holding hands, looking at one another and smiling with what appeared to be an eternal peace in front of them. The gates of heaven or somewhere else wonderful… They were the Ones, the originals- the soulmates and source of all our essences._

"You will not remember me when you are awake. But I'm here; I'm always here with you. So wake in peace, knowing that one day we will meet again in person. Wake and smile, for your future is one full of love and beauty. Please enjoy your time in between now and then for me….

And I'll be with you, when you dream." 


	28. To Hold Me

I woke up to this weird sensation. I had the strangest dream…. a man, an angel… I didn't see his face. He was hold me in his arms, very close to him. I don't know why I would dream of something like that. And then, the moment I tried to picture it in my mind, poof! It was gone- I had no recollection of the male angel or what happened. That all drifted away as I became more awake in my bed. Maybe I've had dreams like that before but didn't remember once I woke up. Who knows?

"Hey, Daddy? Did I leave my passport at your office? I can't find it," I shuffled through my desk drawer. I don't know why; it was the oddest thing… I wasn't even looking for it initially; I wanted to get a pen to sign my fake relationship contract. That's when I noticed that my passport was missing. I tore my desk apart looking for it, but it was nowhere to be seen. It was not an immediate emergency still I wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. But it was something I wanted to deal with before I forgot. The last time I went aboard, I was with Daddy; I probably just left it at the manor and didn't realize until now.

"You can't find it?" "No; I've looked everywhere." "Hmmmmmm, well don't worry, sweetheart. I'm sure it's bound to turn up somewhere." "Could I have left it at your place?" "I'll look. How are you doing otherwise?" "Good until just now," I kept shuffling through papers in my fruitless search. "It'll be ok, honey. Don't worry, ok?" "Ok, I'll try," I sighed, finally relenting; looks like I wasn't finding it before work today. "Have a good day at work, Ana." "I will; you too, Daddy. I love you." "I love you, sugar. Bye." Click.

Lowering my phone from ear, I did a quick scan around my room. Nothing. How does a passport just go missing like that? It couldn't be the informant; there's no signs of a break-in. Oh well, I'm sure Daddy's right and I just misplaced it; probably at the manor. Concluding that, I ran to get my bag and relationship contract; I honestly don't remember why I didn't put it in my backpack. As I was about to head out the front door, my phone vibrated. There was Paul's name on the screen overtop a text message.

[What are you doing tonight?] Tonight? [Nothing yet- why?] [Let me come over for a movie night. There's something I want to give you] He wants to give me something? Why? It's not my birthday. Still, I couldn't resist a movie night with my dear friend. [Sure! How does 8 sound?] The moment I pressed send, my stomach instantly dropped. Oh no…. What if Mr. Bodyguard shows up unannounced again? Paul's seen him before, that night Black accosted me. He would recognize him…. and I doubt Mr. Bodyguard would stay away if I asked. What should I do?

[8 sounds great. See you then] Too late now, I guess; I thought gazing down at my phone. Well, I suppose it wouldn't be that hard to explain. Mr. Bodyguard isn't technically a gang member and I bet he doesn't have a criminal record; top mercenaries for hire usually had to have clean records in case they were caught. Ok! I'm not going to overthink this; it'll be fine. There's no guarantee he'll even come. There's no problem with Paul coming over.

It doesn't say anything in the relationship contract about that either; I'm in the clear! With that, I went out the door, locked it, and started merrily to work.

Hours Earlier (Anastasia has no conscious memory of this dream; it only exists in her subconscious now):

My hand softly lifted up to my forehead as I began to regain consciousness; it felt like I had been asleep for many, long years. It was light… the warm sunlight touched my eyes when they first fluttered open. I saw light first…. then bright blue; lots and lots of blue. It took me a second to realize I was underneath an endless blue sky; it took me even longer to comprehend what I was laying under. Grass- soft, fresh, valley grass. And something comfortable underneath my head…. My head was resting on something. My eyes slowly peered up the figure above me, near me….

It was… it was an angel; a male angel. Despite having no features on his face, he was the most stunning, most perfect being I'd ever seen. His long, snow white wings rested motionless on his back. I knew I couldn't have dreamt him up; no mortal could create or imagine something so entirely flawless. Although he had no lips, he was smiling tenderly, passionately down at me. His eyes watched me unmoving- even thought I couldn't see them, I knew they were blue somehow… I knew their color. His slender, strong head was stroking the top of my head over and over; he had the air of pure bliss about him. He was happy… I could practically feel his joy radiating off his body. When I didn't say anything, his invisible lips parted a sliver.

"_Go back to sleep,"_ his voice… the sound of his voice. I don't even want to try describing it because I know I'll never do it justice. That too, was something beyond human creation. "How long have I been sleeping?" I asked him, still staring up at his featureless face. _"Eight years; you fell asleep when you were twenty years old."_ Twenty? What happened when I was twenty? Why would I have let my mind fall asleep in my dreams at that age? While I gave him a confused expression, his smile merely grew.

"_Sleep- I will still be here."_ "Have you been here the entire time?" He nodded gently. _"Since the day we met."_ "We've met before?" I had no memory of that, did I? I don't think I did…. all I knew is how precious, how unbelievable dear this angel was to me. I….. I think I loved him from the moment I woke, and all without knowing how. And judging by the way he looked at me, I'd say the feeling was mutual. My lips slowly curled into a grin, mirroring his gentle expression.

"You were here with me…. all these years?" _"Yes, sweet girl. I could not bear a moment without you in my arms."_ This man…. I'd only seen him for a few seconds and he already made me feel so loved, so safe. "I feel….. I feel like I know you from somewhere." He waited a second before answering. _"You know me; you were created alongside me. We've always been together; there's not a world I've lived in without you." _"O-other worlds?" This surprised me. I'd always had a soft spot for the multi-universe theory, but I wasn't sure if it was true. He rubbed my head again in the most affectionate way. _"I decided that one lifetime with you wasn't enough, so I made thousands."_ T-Thousands?! I exist in thousands of dimensions?! I… Us?

This angelic personification of loveliness didn't seem at all surprised by my stunned reaction. He proceeded to gently lift my upper half up into his arms and man…. I didn't know something, anything could feel this good. It felt like a warm hug from your grandmother, putting on your favorite sweater, jumping in a pile of fall leaves, letting the sun shine down on your whole body, and so much more. It was the combination of all good feelings in the world. I wanted nothing more than to stay here with him like this forever. I would have given anything in that moment….

"_Sleep, my wife. You need not worry; I will keep holding you like this,"_ he cooed, holding me close in his warm arms. I must return, my eyes began to shut. I must return to him…. _"It's alright,"_ he put his hand my cheek, and a tear slipped down from my eye before it shut completely. I must return…. He's waiting for me. Another tear. _"As you told me not too long ago: I'll be with you, when you dream. Do not worry, Anastasia."_ My mind started to slip from consciousness. He's been waiting for me- my most beloved. The last words I heard were his before everything went white.

"_I will stay by your side." _


	29. Dangerous People

-"Where is he?" "Still in the city, but it's complicated." "Complicated?" The dark-haired man ran his thumb under his lip." "Our informants tell us that the Jacobson hired Black to find Hyde, and Steele hired Ono to take care of Black." The lord's head nodded while Jack scoffed; he was standing beside his boss's chair. "Ono's too stupid to sniff out Black. The informant however…." "Why is Ono looking for Black?" The lord asked his righthand man. "Black accosted Steele's girl; uh, Anastasia, I think. He apparently targeted her because she was the last one to see you, Hyde," James turned to face the man.

"Is this true?" The lord then asked Jack. He nodded without hesitation. "I saw her at the Dollar's manor." "I see….. so the Yellow Scarves want to keep her alive for some reason," more rubbing of the thumb under the lip in a pondering manner. "What are your orders, sir?" James inquired to his lord. The lord considered for a moment.

"Carla….. Does she look like Carla?" Carla was Anastasia's mother. Jack and James looked at each other for a second; this question was clearly meant for Jack. "Uh, yes- but more pretty." This made a very slow grin cross over the lord's lips. "And you said Black is searching for her?" "Well, I think he knows where she is, but he's being careful. Ono might not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but he's got it out for the grimy informant." The lord nodded at this, then turned to Jack.

"Hyde?" "Yes, sir," Jack immediately straightened up. "I want you to go to Europe for a little while; see what information you can dig up while in exile. And bring Giordano back with you; he's still in Florence, yes?" "Uh, y-yes, sir! Of course, I will contact him the moment I arrive." "Lord Lincoln, do you think Steele knows?" "I'm sure he does, since he got a tank like Ono. But we can take care of him," Eric Lincoln's fingers rubbed together; he was still grinning. "And as for the girl, this lovely Anastasia…. Where is she?" "Last we heard, she's still living near the university. She's accepted a PhD candidate offer and is currently interning at Grey Enterprise Holdings." "Grey Enterprise? Interesting…." He took another second, still contemplating to himself. Eventually he gazed back at James. "Text my ex-wife, she might be able to help us." "Yes, lord Lincoln."

"What are you going to do with the Dollars? I can't imagine you're having me bring over an black-list assassin like Giordano for no reason," Jack said. Lord Lincoln chuckled softly before turning back to peer at him. "Let's make Steele disappear, but I want the girl brought here- I want her alive." "Yes, sir. Anything else?" James was a good righthand assistant. "Yes. Contact my personal surgeon; have him here when Anastasia arrives. I want her sterilized as soon as possible." An image of a pregnant, smiling Carla rubbing her belly flashed through Lord Lincoln's head.

"I refuse to be responsible for bringing more Steeles into this world."-


	30. Elena Screws Up Big Time

Mr. Grey was talking with Jacob in the hall when I got into the office. Five to nine- made it! Mr. Grey immediately noticed me; we smiled at each other. While he returned to his conversation, I made my way into the break room to get a drink. I tossed down my file and backpack on the table, and went to the fridge to look for some juice.

Imagine my utter surprise and dismay to see Ms. Blonde Brat come inside. She was looking at her phone with wide eyes. When she saw me, she didn't say anything. I watched her glance at me, then back down at her phone screen again. She seemed….. conflicted for a second. Maybe I was wrong; what was there for her to be confused about? I did feel a bit awkward when she looked back up to me, her mouth a thin, expressionless line.

This lasted for like only five seconds. Within the blink of an eye, she shut off her phone screen and shoved it into her pocket. It didn't help the uncomfortableness when she suddenly smirked up to me, just like she had the day we met- also here in the break room. I don't think I like the break room….

"Why, hello Miss Steele. Did you have a good weekend?" "Uh, fine; thank you. You?" "Just fine. Nothing too exciting," her hand waved around in the air. "That's good," not too sure why I said that; it wasn't inherently good to have a boring weekend, was it? But then, Daddy always said no news is good news. "Did you get everything sorted out with your brothers?" "Huh?" This caused me to blink at her. What is she…? Oh! Right, yes- that call last time. I remember now. Wearing a hidden, side smirk, I turned to the orange juice container. "Yep! Everything's good now." "Then why is your phone ringing?"

I glanced over my shoulder to see my new burner phone vibrating in my bag. Ugh! I forgot to set it on silent! Jesus, Ana; pay attention! Cringing on the inside, I reluctantly went over to pull my phone out from my bag. Blonde brat had her eyes glued on me while I answered it. "Yes?" "Ok, good. I just wanted to make sure your phone worked," I frowned at the sound of Mr. Bodyguard's voice on the other end. "Why wouldn't it work? You put in the chip. And why are you calling me now? I'm at work, you know." "Like I care. And don't you dare put your phone on silent, missy. Understand?" Click. Gees, I hate that guy! I could feel blonde brat's stare burning a hole through me while I clenched onto my phone- hard.

"So, tell me, Miss Steele. Why do you have two phones?" Oh, fock. I made myself grin back at her, trying to look as innocent as possible. "Oh, one's just for family calls; in case of emergencies." What do I always say? It's not a total lie. She didn't look at all convinced, folding her arms like I owed her an explanation or something. "Where did you say your family's from again?" "I didn't; we… live in the city." "I know that much," she frowned, unimpressed. This woman!

That's when she suddenly noticed the file laying on the table. My heart froze as blonde brat's hand unexpectedly reached for it. "What's this?" She asked herself more than me. "It's mine! Don't touch!" "Oh please. It has the company label on it. And I'm sure I understand paperwork much better than little academic interns like you," she chimed before proceeding to open it. "Don't! Stop!" I tried desperately to snatch it from her grasp.

Too late. Blonde brat's disgusting smirk began to fade as she read its contents. "A fake relationship with Christian? You're in a relationship with Christian?!" She sent me the nastiest, accusatory glare. My brain went into immediate panic mode. "Give it back!" "I asked you a question! What nonsense are you dragging Christian into? Why would he enter a false relationship with you?!" Her voice was getting progressively louder. "That's…. n-none of your business. Now give me back my folder." "You sleezy little…. Answer me! What are you up to?! What do you want with Christian? Are you after his money, you starving student?" "It has nothing to do with that! Look, it wasn't my idea; he's the one who suggested it, ok?! Now give me my file back!"

"Why would Christian agree to enter a fake relationship with you, much less a real one? I want some answers now, little girl!" "I don't owe you anything! But those papers belong to Mr. Grey and me!" I kept trying to reach them; she held them out behind her now. "I told you to stay away from him!" "No, you didn't! You don't own Mr. Grey anyway! This has nothing to do with you. Now give me my….."

My sentence was cut off by a swift slap to the face. Everything seemed to go into slow motion right after this. I was so astonished that I simply stared off in the direction my head turned to. My cheek was already starting to burn; I'm sure it would be red very soon. Then, it was like everything suddenly sped up. I glared back to the now stunned blonde brat; boy, were her eyes huge. Bad move. She immediately realized her mistake; it didn't hurt that there were security cameras all around us. Ok, that's enough; the gloves are coming off. If that's how she wants to play….

"Christian!" Her mouth dropped in horror as I shouted my fake-boyfriend's name at the top of my lungs. She then saw that we had approximately thirty seconds before our boss burst through the door. This bitch went into immediate repair-mode; i.e. bargaining. "Ok, what do you want?" Oh, I had to cross my arms and smile in victory; I had her by the metaphorical balls now, and I was gonna squeeze. "Don't tell anyone about our relationship, or my second phone. And you keep your mouth shut about whatever you hear about me or my "family", got it?" I knew she knew by now; or already had some idea. Blonde brat clearly wasn't happy with this but nodded in silent agreement anyway. And just to add icing to the cake, I pointed up at the cameras. "Remember, I have evidence on my side," not to mention a whole host of dangerous thugs loyal to my family in the city. She didn't say anything, but boy, did she look mad.

By then, Mr. Grey came running inside. He ran right up to me, giving me a quick once over with his eyes. "Anastasia, are you alright?!" "I think so. I saw a spider run down the drain; didn't you, miss?" Oh, if looks could kill…. After firing one last vicious glare to me, she gazed softer over at Mr. Grey. "Y-yes, sir. It scared both of us." We watched as he went to check the spider-less drain. He turned back to me and shrugged. "It's gone now." "Thank you for coming, I was so startled," I cooed, coming over to his side. It was then that I caught sight of his shimmering blue eyes. Blue eyes… Strange, I feel like I've seen those recently. _"I will stay by your side."_ My eyes widened at the foreign voice ringing from the recesses of my mind. I don't…. I don't remember…

Mr. Grey grinned down at me. He placed his hand on my lower back, making me flinch a little. Then he led me out of the room, snatching up my backpack and contract on the way out. The look on blonde brat's face in that moment was priceless. She just gawked as the two of us left the break room together; Mr. Grey's hand still protectively, tenderly on my back the whole way. I have to admit, it felt good…. really good. I can't quite describe it, but I felt like I'd experienced this somewhere before. I didn't know human touch could be like this… _"I will keep holding you like this."_ I didn't human contact could feel like magical sparks against the skin.


	31. Let Me Hold Your Hand

"Anastasia?" "Sir?" I was currently busying working through logic theories at my new desk…. right smack beside Mr. Grey's. He was leaning back in his chair and facing out the window with his hands clasped on his lap. "Let's go on a date." "No." And just like, I could sense his sharp glare burning a sudden hole through my head.

"No? Did you just say "no" to me, Anastasia?" Mr. Grey had a tone. "We have work to do, sir." "We've worked all morning. Let's go somewhere this afternoon." "I still have five pages to get through. This is going to take all afternoon," I still didn't glance his way. Seemingly unhappy with my defiance, I blinked as he came over to snatch up the remaining papers- including the one I was currently working on. My eyes just rolled up to him, finding him dangling the paperwork above me. His other hand planted on his hip firmly.

"These pages are no longer your responsibility." "Mr. Grey… I have to finish those," my lips let out a soft sigh. "Not anymore." "You can't do that." "I do whatever I want; I'm your boss." This caused another long sigh to erupt from me. "Mr. Grey, please…." "As your boss, I order to take the afternoon off with me." "And do what?" My eyebrow raised a little suspiciously. He shrugged. "You choose; we can do whatever you want." "Really?!" My eyes widened in sudden surprise. This startled expression made him smile lightly… He smiled, and I felt my heart skip an unconscious beat. That smile with those sapphire eyes…. "Yes, wherever you want to go. Just say it; that's what we'll do." In that moment, I was overwhelmed by the urge to tell him how I adored his eyes, but didn't…. That wasn't appropriate, was it? "I-I… I don't think you'll like where I pick. You should decide, sir." "I said name it, Miss Steele," his grin widened.

We were standing in the National Museum's foyer. There were tons of school children and families bustling about. I simply looked at the slightly alarmed Mr. Grey with a grin. "Well, you did say anywhere," this was cheeky to say. I loved going to museums; they were always the first place I went to when I traveled. I came here when I just needed to get out of my apartment; plus, no gangsters ever came here- double win! This place was huge, with three full floors of content, many exhibitions, a conservatory, and a library- which I have been in before. Personally, my favorite galleries were the animal panorama and history section. I wonder what Mr. Grey would like to see…..

He didn't say anything for the longest time. Then he chuckled to himself, peering down to me. "I should have known. An academic like you…." "I love museums. Aside from libraries, universities, and the Lush store of course, they are my favorite places to visit." "You really are a nerd," more chuckling. "Maybe…." "So, Miss Smartie-Pants; what would you like to see first?" "What?!" I blinked to him in astonishment. I found him smiling again; he was smiling with those gorgeous eyes once again…..

This made me pause for a second before continuing. "Oh no, Mr. Grey! I come here all the time. You choose! I'll be happy to go wherever you want." This seemed to please him. He peered down, then leaned in closer to my ear. "Anastasia, while we're in public, I want you to call me "Christian"." Of course, I audibly gasped scandalized. "I can't do that!" "Why not?" "Because you're my boss! It wouldn't be right. Besides it's…." It's not like we're in a real relationship or anything. The very notion made me blush a tad. Mr. Grey seemed all the more pleased with this frazzled reaction, like he actually found my modestly charming.

"Anastasia- the goal is to try and look like a real couple. People will think it's very suspicious if you address me so formally all the time. Just call me "Christian"; it's alright." It's alright… "No, it's not alright," I fired back with not as much steam as I would have liked. "We have to be believable. Do it for me, ok?" Do it for him….? Ugh! Why did he have to say it like that?! Finally, my head nodded without my brain's permission. Bad head! He grinned in complete victory over this, straightening back up.

"Good! Now, where do you want to go first?" "I want you to choose," I countered quickly. "And I want you to pick. And since I'm your employer, I make the call; choose." Gees, he just won't give up, will he? A sincere smile bloomed across my lips- a happy grin…. In that moment, I felt… happy; pure, unadulterated joy. I pointed towards the animal panorama.

"Ok, let's go there." "Fine," you can't imagine how high my heart leaped when Mr. Grey reached over to take hold of my hand. It was so unexpected and out of nowhere that I failed to react right away; just like the night Paul hugged me…. Mr. Grey gave me a gentle, small tug forward; this somehow caught my lost mind up with the situation. I tried to pull my hand out of his grasp, but he didn't relent. He just gazed back to me from over his shoulder.

"Anastasia?" "D-do…. do you have to hold my hand?" I was blushing so hard, I couldn't look him in the face while asking. He watched me for a moment, his feet coming to a halt. "We can't only sound like a real couple. We have to look like one too?" "Y-yeah, but… does that really require you… h-holding my hand?" Can't we be a couple who doesn't touch? Like at all? Touching leads to attachment…. and attachment was the last thing I needed right now. In Mr. Grey's opinion however….

"We'll stay closer together this way." "Yes, I know… I don't want to stay closer together." "Anastasia, are you embarrassed?" "Of course I am! I'm not used to…." This. After watching me for another moment, Mr. Grey softly, almost tenderly pulled me forward; my eyes grew as I found myself walk up right next to him. We were so close, I could almost feel him…. While my cheeks were bright red, his face was nothing but kindness and caring. "W-Why, Mr. Grey?" "What did I just say?" His voice wasn't as chastising as you'd image. My gaze began to drift down thoughtfully, shyly…. "Why do you want to hold my hand…. C-Christian?" Oh, that felt so wrong….. maybe because it felt right in so, so many ways. Too many ways. I needed a reality check and fast. Too bad I wasn't getting one anytime soon. Mr. Grey smiled in the warmest, more effortless way possible. His head leaned in towards mine once more.

"Let me hold your hand." My eyes started to widen. I knew what he meant by this: he wants to hold my hand. Why? Just for the fake relationship? If so, then… _Please hold my hand_. Then why is holding onto my hand so tight? So protectively?

So tenderly?


	32. The Return of Black

_My eyes opened and I saw my beloved faceless angel sitting down on the grass next to me. We were still in the same endless meadow, under the same endless sky as always. She smiled warmly down upon me, gently caressing my cheek with her hand. _

"_How long as it been?"_ "Eight years; you've been awake for eight years now." _My eyes lowered a little. "And you? Are you also awake, wherever you are?"_ "I just woke up, not too long ago. I woke up in your lap." _Smiling passionately up at her, my fingers also reached up to touch her soft face. "Were you happy? To see me, there with you?" Her gaze softened in the gentlest, most adoring way possible. _

_My eyes shut as she continued to stroke my cheek with her pale, slender fingers_. "Do you remember when we first met?" _"I did not know I was dreaming. I could never dream up anything like you."_ "Just like you, I saw him, and I loved him; the man who cradled me in his arms all these years." _I reopened my eyes to look at this angelic being, this god-like creation. Her smile still shown down upon me, like the sun. "I am so happy, my angel…. my wife." _"So am I, husband."

"You didn't have to drive me home, Mr. Grey," I sat in the passenger's seat of Mr. Grey's car. He sighed to himself while resting his cheek on his free palm. "We need to work on you calling me "Christian" full-time." "I think that would be highly unethical, Mr. Grey. I agreed to call you that out in public, but we need to keep our private somewhat professional." For my sake. He chuckled lowly to himself, giving his head a little shake.

"I have to admit, museums aren't as boring as I remember. We should go more often." I blushed for felt like the millionth time that day, electing not to say anything. Instead, I kept my stare down on my hands. "Did you have fun, Anastasia?" "W-well, yes." "Me too," his grin deepened- organically too. "Mr. Grey?" "Hmmmmm?" "I'm…. sorry," my eyes lowered a bit. The guilt was starting to eat away at me. "For what?" "For… For seeming if I'm a bit distant; I don't mean to be. It's just…. with my situation and all…." And then, I immediately understood my mistake. I said "situation"; not "school" like I meant. Lucky for me, Mr. Grey didn't seem to catch on.

"You mean with your PhD? I understand; your life is about to get very busy, very soon." "Yes, that's right. Which is why I can't…. get attached," I was whispering by now. Oh god, what was I saying? I sounded like a moron. Lucky- or unlucky for me- we turned the corner onto my block at this point. Imagine both of our surprises to see a police car parked outside my building. I knew that specific car; it was Paul's. Wait, Paul? Oh, that's right! He's coming over for movies tonight. Oh!... Oh.

Mr. Grey did not look happy- not at all. I doubt he knew it was Paul's wagon, but he immediately worried nonetheless. The car came to a stop and we both got out; not what I was expecting… kinda. Paul was just getting out from his door at this time too. He spotted me first and smiled. "Ana!" Then, like clockwork, he and Mr. Grey saw each other. Oh boy; here we go. I braced myself for the oncoming guy-attack. They each frowned, clearly unimpressed by the other's presence.

"What is he doing here?" As if to add fire to the fuel, they lashed out at the same time, pointing to one another. They had a lot more in common than I think they realized. Of course, they weren't looking at me for an answer; keeping their glares glues in one direction. "Did you drive Ana home?" "That's none of your business. And what are you doing waiting outside her apartment?" "Not that it's any of your information, but Ana and I are having a movie night together- alone." "You what?" Mr. Grey now blinked frustrated at me. Oh great! Now I'm officially involved in this petty nonsense. But before I could reply, Paul defiantly crossed his arms.

"What's your issue there, Grey? Ana and I have been close friends for years. I'm allowed to come see her whenever I want." Oh, come on, Paul; please don't antagonize him further. "How's that going to look with her being in a relationship now?" Mr. Grey shot back. I rolled my eyes; ok, that wasn't a good burn either, Mr. Grey. Gees, these two… "Did you forget the meaning of the word "fake"? And last I checked, there's nothing about being in a fake relationship which says that you have to drive Ana home."

I didn't hear Mr. Grey's retort; my eye caught something up on my floor from my apartment window. The living room light was on; strange, I distinctly remember not turning it on this morning. A human-shaped shadow passed by the window and my eyes grew in remembrance. It must be Mr. Bodyguard! He has the only other key; I got one made for Daddy, which he must have given to him. Well that's just perfect! Not only do I have two insanely over-protective men out here, now there's an underground muscleman upstairs in my apartment. Paul and Mr. Grey are going to lose their shit when they find out.

Gritting my teeth, I pulled out my fob and went to open the apartment's main door. Ok, if I can hide or get Mr. Bodyguard to leave before either of them see, all will be well. "I'm just going upstairs for a moment," I called, not looking behind me. To my utter horror, both men followed inside, still arguing like cats and dogs. What?! No, why is this happening? Can't they fight outside? Why do they have to follow me? It's not like they're even paying attention to me or anything- they really weren't right now.

With the longest sigh, I reached into my backpack to pull out my flat key. Ugh! He even left the front door open; it was resting open a sliver. My hand stretched out to push it open fully until… "Didn't I tell you to keep your ringer on?" We all spun around to see Mr. Bodyguard coming up the apartment steps; the ones we just ascended. Paul and Mr. Grey stopped fighting to gawk at the man for a second; for Mr. Bodyguard's part, he ignored their presence entirely.

"Who is this man?!" Mr. Grey finally found the voice to ask. "Wait! I know you… You're the guy from the other night! The one that chased the man," Paul suddenly gasped, pointing at him dumbfounded. "Who the hell are you?" Mr. Bodyguard tisked, peering over to them from the corner of his eye. Meanwhile, while this was happening, I nervously turned back to the slightly open door. The pieces came together pretty quickly… My bottom lip began to tremble as my hand froze midair out in front of me.

"He's inside…." I managed a whisper. "Huh?" All three sets of eyes blinked over to me puzzled. "The informant… he's inside," I turned back to Mr. Bodyguard. Before we had time to blink, he ran like a shot through my front door. "Black!" His scream echoed through the whole complex. "Ana!" Both Paul and Mr. Grey dashed after me as I also sprinted. We came to see Mr. Bodyguard at one side of my livingroom/kitchen, and Black at the other. "You!" Paul immediately pointed at Black furiously.

"Hiya, princess and… cop I don't remember." "I'll kill you!" We then watched Mr. Bodyguard lift up my whole goddamn kitchen table; the entire table above his head. I wasn't lying or exaggerating when I said this guy is crazy strong. The men's mouths dropped in utter shock- expect for Black's- while I stared with wide, wide eyes. Holy… Holy crap! He's going to throw the whole table at the informant! Without warning, I suddenly leapt towards Mr. Bodyguard, hanging off one of his arms. This definitely caught everyone's attention in the room.

"No, don't! You're going to kill him!" I pleaded with this brute. "He can try," Black helped literally nothing; he even had the audacity to shove his hands into his pockets and smirk. "Anastasia!" Mr. Grey and Paul, meanwhile…. "You're dead! You're dead! You're so frikin dead!" Mr. Bodyguard continued to shriek at the dangerous informant. "Mr. Bodyguard, please!" I kept begging, on the verge of tears now. "Did you just call him "Mr. Bodyguard"? That's just adorable! Isn't that precious, Odo?" "Piss off!"

"You're under assert!" Paul announced, pointing straight at Black. Big mistake. Black tried to make a dash out the window. Mr. Bodyguard dropped the table on the ground, breaking it in half in the process, and proceeded to chase/fight the informant right in my apartment. When Black ran into my room, Mr. Bodyguard looked at me. "Call your dad!" This was the last thing he said before I was practically dragged out by Paul and Mr. Grey; each holding one of my hands. By the time we got outside, there was another cop car and a small gathering of Dollars. Mother Focker. Mr. Grey looked horrified at the gangsters. While he rushed me to his car and Paul went to talk with the other police in a terrified manner, I glanced back up at my apartment; you could things breaking left, right, and center. And lots and lots of yelling- mostly Black's name.

Well! Looks like I'm moving. A sarcastically great ending to a literally great day. Fantastic indeed.


	33. Two Men, Two Wrists for Them to Hold

[When Ana grabbed onto that man's arm, I about lost my mind. This asshole could lift an entire wooden table; he could really hurt her. "No, don't! You're going to kill him!" Typical- only Ana would want to rescue the man who's been hunting her these past couple of days. "He can try," but man, if I had a gun right now… "Anastasia!" Clearly I wasn't the only one the verge of having a panic attack now either. "You're dead! You're dead! You're so frikin dead!" Yes, good; kill him- far, far away from Ana. "Mr. Bodyguard, please!" Mr. Bodyguard? Well, I guess she wouldn't know his name; we only saw him the other night. Still, how did she know he was a bodyguard? Was he…. a bodyguard, for that matter?

That would have to wait. The informant had the gull to smirk like this was cute or something. "Did you just call him "Mr. Bodyguard"?" No, no…. "That's just adorable!" No; don't talk to her. Don't you dare talk to her. I was beginning to see all red now. "Isn't that precious, Odo?" There's nothing precious about any of this. "Piss off!"

That did it. My patience was completely gone as I gave into my temper. My finger shot up to Black in the most furious way possible. "You're under arrest!" I don't know what I was expecting after announcing this. Maybe he would have slipped out of the window, or shockingly given himself over to me. He elected for the former, only stopped when the brute dropped the table on the ground. "Call your dad!" I didn't even consider the implications of that sentence. Now was my chance. My hand shot over to grab onto Ana; it was so fast and instinctual that I didn't see Grey do the same. Holding firmly onto her, I practically dragged her out of the apartment; not letting go or looking back once. I had to get her out of there- that was the only thought going through my mind.

We exited the building to find even more mobsters outside. Luckily police were already arriving on the scene. They immediately spotted me, flashing me confused expressions. I didn't go back to them until we- or more importantly Ana- was safe off to the side, away from the gangsters. Grey still with her, only then did I go back to speak to the other cops. When I eventually glanced back to check on Ana, I was mortified to see that idiotic Grey practically tossing her into his car. He shut the side door and speedily drove off. That dick… When I get my bloody hands on him….]

Mr. Grey was driving me to I don't know where at a really fast speed. This worried me; not because he was driving so fast, but I didn't get to say anything to Paul before we left. He'll be concerned too, I'm sure…. And we just left without any notice to anyone. I don't think Mr. Grey was too anxious about that right now, however. He drove with one hand, constantly rubbing his lips nervously with his other. It took a while before he said anything.

"Anastasia?" "Yes?" I replied without looking at him; I didn't need to look at him to know what he was thinking. "That man; is he the informant?" "Yes…. I don't know how but am not too surprised that he found out where I lived," he was one of the best underground informants in the city after all. Another long pause fell over between us; Mr. Grey kept his eyes locked onto the road the whole time.

"Anastasia, stay at my house tonight." "Huh?!" I gasped, affronted. "I will protect you; just stay." He'll… protect me? Oh yeah, I guess… that's why we entered this fake relationship in the first place. So I'd have some more protection….. I finally found the courage to peak at him from the corner of my eye. He did the same moments after my gaze fell upon his face. "Mr. Grey…. I don't think I can… I should…" "Enough, Anastasia; I've had enough. This whole thing…. It makes me nervous." He's scared for me? My eyes widened in surprise and a hint of delight. "I… I know you're worried about me, but I think…."

"Don't think about it. Whatever you're thinking, put it out of your mind. Just come and stay over; there's no reason to mull over it. The sooner we get you safe… I mean at ease, the better." Is it just me, or did he accidently say "safe"? He's not doing this for me; well, yes he is. But… there's more to it than that. Just like agreeing to be my fake boyfriend, he's doing it for himself too. Why? What does he get out of me being safe? I don't understand….. Still…..

"Um, sir? I… appreciate the offer but I'm going to have to decline. I'll just go stay at my father's tonight." Mr. Grey let out an exasperated sigh, glancing out the window for a moment. "I don't think he'll mind you sleeping over for one night, Anastasia." "You don't know my father…" I retorted in a low whisper. It's true; if Mr. Grey had any idea the kind of character Daddy was…. Of course, he didn't, and he wasn't about to let this drop so easily.

"Anastasia, there was a man- an underground informant- in your apartment. What would you have done if we weren't there? Forgive me for being a bit shaken up by all this, but after tonight…. I never want to let you out of my sight again," he said, looking out in front of him. Oh boy, did this make my eyes grow huge; bigger than I thought humanly possible. God, I wish he didn't say things like that; this whole "not getting attached" thing is hard enough even without physical contact.

"Don't you get it? You're in danger. What if that informant knows where Ray lives? What if he breaks into his house while your asleep tonight?" "I wouldn't worry about that." If he did, he'd come face-to-face with a bunch of well-built Dollars, not to mention a raging man Hulk. "Just stay with me tonight." "This is really not a good idea. It's not that I don't trust you; I do! It's just… there was nothing in the relationship contract about this," oh good save there, Ana; yeah, he'll really buy that. Mr. Grey shot me the most unimpressed expression.

"This wouldn't have something to do with that policeman friend of yours, would it?" "Mr. Grey! How dare you?! I can't believe you'd even ask me something like that!" Ok, that was below the belt and definitely not ok. Mr. Grey didn't look deterred at all. "I can tell the way you two act around each other." "Like the good friends we are. And by the way, I don't recall needing your permission to spend time alone with Paul. He's one of my best friends; he's not going anywhere, Mr. Grey," my arms folded defiantly. "Do you like him?" "That's none of your business." "So no, then?" "Mr. Grey!" "Good. Then it'll be a one-sided relationship forever." I mean… my apartment was just broken into, and he chooses now of all times to discuss Paul? Talk about immaturity. There's no reason for him to be jealous; he's my fake boyfriend after all, not Paul.

Seeing the visible change in my mood, Mr. Grey released another sigh. "My point is that you should stay with me tonight." I know why he keeps pushing this; he needs me to consent otherwise its kidnapping. Well, we'll see about that! "I don't want to leave you alone by yourself tonight." Oh crap, why does he have to say such heart-melting things like that?! It screws up my willpower; gees! Fine! What's the worst that can happen if we sleep in separate bedrooms and don't see each other in our pajamas…. I don't have any pajamas. All the more reason for us to stay at opposite ends of the house! My arms flung up in the air in defeat.

"Alright, I'll stay." Mr. Grey looked over to me, but didn't smile; ok, maybe a little… but not a victory sort of smile. More like a "I'm happy you're safe" smile. We arrived at his apartment; this nice place downtown where he had a flat on the twentieth floor. He unlocked the door and held it open for me. Mr. Grey then proceeded to help me take off my coat before taking off his own; he hung them up in the closet. Plopping himself down on the black-leather couch, he grinned over to where I was still standing.

"Are you hungry?" "Huh? Oh, y-yeah… I guess a little," I patted my stomach. "I'll order us something. What do you want to eat?" "Mmmmmm, ramen maybe?" Just then, my phone vibrated in my jean pocket; my personal phone. I checked the screen to see Paul's name; oh boy. Without hesitation, and perhaps forgetting where I was for a split second, I instantly answered it. "Hi, Paul," and I could feel Mr. Grey's eyes roll from here.

"Ana! Thank god! Are you alright? Where are you?" "I'm fine! I'm at Mr. Grey's place." "Grey?" The world's quickest pause. "Where?" "Uh, hold on; I'll send you the address." "What address? You're not sending him my address, are you?" Mr. Grey rushed over to my side. I had just enough time to give him a look before Paul spoke again. "Ok, we've traced the call; I'll be there in five minutes." "Uh, wait a minute. Paul!" Too late. Click on his end. I nervously peered up to a very upset Mr. Grey. His glare was as firm as his hands on his hips.

True to his word, Paul arrived in less than five minutes. The doorbell rang and I thought Mr. Grey's head might explode. So I pressed the button to let him in after another ring. Paul stormed in, not bothering to glance my way. His eyes were dead-set on Mr. Grey. Wow, I hadn't seen him this mad in a long time, I thought wisely staying off to the sidelines. "What the hell do you think you were doing? You drove away our key witness," Paul growled dangerously. "Paul," I saw a safe opportunity to slip in. He gazed over at me for a moment, visibly relaxing when he saw that I was alright.

"What is she doing here, Grey?" Well, that didn't last long. "Anastasia is staying with me tonight." Oooooooooh, I really don't think that was the best choice of words. Technically true but…. Paul's face both widened in horror and narrowed in disgust; I think he was too stunned for words. "I'll let her stay here, so don't worry," oh now Mr. Grey chooses to put a positive spin on this for him? My lips pressed tightly together as my eyes rolled off to the right. Yeah, no; that's not gonna work. It wouldn't work if I went to stay at Paul's place, and it's not gonna work here.

Paul waited another second before saying anything. The room was so tense, you could cut the air with a butter knife. Then his glare dashed over to me. "Let's go. How can a grown woman spend the night with a single man; much less one who's her employer? This is illegal, not to mention immoral. Are you insane?" When I didn't reply, Paul's eyes rolled. He then had the wisdom to reach and take hold of my wrist. Uh oh…. "Come with me," Paul told me, trying to pull me towards the door. We were stopped by another hand grabbing onto my other wrist.

"Leave her here." This wasn't a suggestion; it was an order. Paul slowly spun around, and the two men glared red-hot daggers at each other. I had to close my eyes when Paul took a few steps towards Mr. Grey. Good god, why is it always like this between them? This is what happens when you take two very strong, very successful men in their field, and lump them together; their massive egos didn't help anything either. Paul's glare sharpened first.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" "I need her here tonight." Mr. Grey! I blinked silently at him. Paul was not at all impressed. "I'm taking her." "I said no already." "And I said I'm taking her." Gees! Don't these kinds of things only happen in dramas or trashy romance books? I'm sure it's thrilling to read about and put yourself in the character's shoes. But in real life, this was tense and awkward as fock. It didn't help matters that neither of them was asking what I wanted; oh no, can't do that. Cause they're guys and they know what's best for me- insert eyeroll here.

"She's not going anywhere." "Yes, she is. I'm taking Ana with me." "No." A very long and horrible silence came over the two after this. While they kept this glaring-war up, I blinked between one and the other nervously. What is with these two?! Seriously! Were they so opposed to me spending time with one of them alone? Yes- yes, that's just the problem actually. Better not to tell Paul about our little museum adventure then. And on top of everything…

They were each still holding onto my wrists!


	34. Now I Have Two Drunk Men on My Hands

This is so unbelievably stupid. Here I was, standing in the middle of Mr. Grey's floor, with each of my wrists being tightly squeezed by two attractive, very masculine men. And somehow, I wasn't in blissful paradise. I mean come on! I'm the daughter of one of the most successful- and deadliest- mob bosses in the world. I was set to inherit a vast empire full of wealth, land, countless men…. and once again, I was being treated like a frikin doll- an object to be passed around and moved by men. That's how it's been my whole life, and it literally helped nothing that I was submissive by nature and naturally attracted to dominant men. Yes, I wasn't controversial; that just wasn't who I was. It wouldn't be any different if I was male; this was just part of my DNA, gender regardless.

However! Because I happen to be a woman, my passive nature makes it all the more easier for me to be pushed aside, moved around, and ignored. Being a mob princess made no difference for this whatsoever. Despite being a massive heiress and part of a mob lord family, that gained me no respect. I was a chess piece to every man in my life- whether they truly love me or not. _"Either you succeed me or marry the man who does." "Don't forget, Anastasia; you can't fall in love with either of them." "No one's talking about marriage right now, princess; you still have time. But remember, sooner or later these kinds of things will need to be sorted out. Plus your babies would be smart and beautiful."_ Yes… Yes, I was very aware of how men see me. I know some loved and cared for me, only wanting the very best for me. But that didn't change the fact… Aside from my schoolwork and getting my PhD, I actually had very little control in and over my life.

"What gives you the right to barge in here and take Ana? Because you're a police officer?" Even Paul and Mr. Grey… I'm sure neither of them meant of any of this to harm me; in fact, I bet they thought they were being protective and looking out for my safety. Oh, sweet, sweet irony. "She's my friend. I can't let her spend the night with a stranger." Cause you know, that was Paul's decision to make. Not like I was a twenty-eight year old woman.

"Ana, let's go," I think both men were reaching their breaking point. He forcefully but also gently tore me out of Mr. Grey's grip, dragging me towards the door. "Anastasia!" Oh, now they want my input. We stopped; I glanced back, Paul didn't. Mr. Grey was now looking straight at me. "Keep your private life and work separate." Oh, this was not wise. Obviously Paul took this as a direct insult to my character. He finally let go of me, rushing to station himself in between me and Mr. Grey. He even growled slightly.

"You're the one who shouldn't mix work with your private life. Do you think Ana wants to break the law? Are you really that stupid? She'd never do something like that." "I know that," Mr. Grey fired back. "Paul, really. Of course Christian knows that." "Christian?!" Uh oh, what did I just say? Did I just slip up with his name? I meant to say "Mr. Grey"; Christian wasn't "Christian"- he was Mr. Grey! Oops!

"And you! Does your father know about this?" Uh, does a grown woman need to ask permission to stay at a man's house? Well, knowing Daddy, actually probably yeah. "I… was going to call him," I rubbed the back of my head awkwardly. It's true, I was…. tomorrow. "She's an adult; she doesn't need permission to do anything," Mr. Grey retorted upset. "Fine, then I'm staying here," Paul crossed his arms defiantly. Oh… oh boy. "What?" Mr. Grey just blinked at him incredulously. "She needs an escort tonight, and since you refuse to call Mr. Steele, I'll watch over Ana."

Ok, this was getting ridiculous. Despite what they may think, I am an adult; I can take care of myself. "Why are you being like this?" Mr. Grey hissed. "I don't think you're trustworthy," Paul answered flatly. Gees, Paul; what has Mr. Grey ever done that made you think he's untrustworthy? Granted, Course, Mr. Grey's low opinion of Paul was also unwarranted. "If Ana's staying, then I'm staying. We either leave together or stay together. It's your call, Grey." Uh, what about my call? When am I going to get a say in all this? And I know what you're probably thinking. 'You have a mouth, Ana; just open it and say something.' Yeah, no; that's not my style. Again, I hate confrontation and only engage when I see an opportunity. Plus I've been raised my entire life to be obedient; hard to disobey a man with a tire jack in his hand- not Daddy but any other random Dollar.

Mr. Grey looked like he was about to explode, and Paul wasn't far off. A silence permeated the air, giving me my longed-for opportunity. I glanced back and forth between them. "I have an idea." "Huh?" This caught both of their attention. I smiled while throwing my hands up into the air. "Why don't we go somewhere?" Anywhere- anywhere else is less awkward than here. "Where?" Mr. Grey asked, sounding a bit intrigued. I shrugged. "Somewhere fun. We don't have to call it a night so early." Of course, they had to look back at each other, mulling over the consideration in their minds.

One hour later- this is definitely not what I had in mind. I sat in between Mr. Grey and Paul at a bar table. Mr. Grey rented out the entire bar for the night. Initially both men refused to drink with Black still on the loose. But with the doors securely locked and no one else around, I think they finally found it safe enough. Why they chose going to a bar of all places is beyond me though. I suggested we see a movie; they shot that down pretty fast. Mr. Grey suggested a drive; nope. Paul wanted to stay in. I think we wound up here because it was the only place they could agree on; I didn't care by that point. I just wanted to go somewhere, anywhere.

We played a few games of pool. Admittedly, I actually kind of enjoyed that. Because of their competitive natures, they were really fun to watch playing games, trying to outdo each other. Whenever one would hit a ball out, they would send the other a smug smirk; then they'd look to me to make sure I saw. "Did you see that, Ana?" "Yes. You're wonderful at this game, Paul," I grinned. Mr. Grey immediately hit two balls in the moment my sentence finished. Paul frowned while Mr. Grey flashed him a victory smile. "Guess I'm pretty wonderful at this game too." "Bastard…." I had to hide a smile with my hand.

It got to a point where I'd say we were almost having fun together, though that might be a stretch. Next was darts; I sat this one out. They were already pretty tense, tossing darts- and missing. Again, I found myself having to stifle my laugh as Paul complained that Mr. Grey was throwing wrong, and Mr. Grey accused Paul of being in front of the line. I wish I was making this up… not really; it was way too amusing. This was basically the equivalent of a dick-measuring competition; and both didn't see losing as an option. Who knows? Maybe in another time and place, they could have actually been friends.

After their uh, interesting round of darts, they decided it was time for the real "fun" to start. My eyes rolled as they went to fetch themselves some liquor and shot glasses. Oh man, here we go. I sat at the table with my milk; who knows why a bar had jugs of milk. While I sipped on that through a fun, multi-color straw, they poured shots and lined them up in a row. Real classy, guys. Locking their eyes onto one another- though I swore a bit more playfully this time- Mr. Grey picked up the first shot. It was gone in a second. He set the empty glass down in front of him with an air of pride and competitive spirit. Well done, Mr. Grey. I couldn't hide my smile any longer when Paul instantly picked one and polished it off just as quick. These guys… If I didn't know any better, I'd say they were starting to enjoy this competitive jealousy scenario; the perfect opportunity to show off their manhood and what not. Still, this did seem a bit stupid. Why drinking of all things?

"Seriously, you guys. Do you have to have a drinking competition?" My cheek rested on the palm of my hand. No reply; just more staring at each other. Man! My eyes rolled so hard. "Fine, in that case, I'll have one too," I reached for a pink lemonade. "No," they said in unison with both their hands immediately coming to snatch it away from me. I blinked in surprise and mild horror. "You need to stay alarm at all times." "Yes; no drinking until Black's been caught. Just in case." "But we're in a locked bar!" I retorted affronted. This wasn't so cute anymore. "Exactly," Mr. Grey downed another shot. Paul wasn't about to be undone, drinking one himself. I threw my hands up into and slunk back into my seat. These jerks….

Ok, in hindsight maybe it's a good thing I didn't drink- like at all. This was the night things started to change for me; I started to change. While I stayed sober and watched these two morons drink their own body-weight in alcohol, it occurred to me that no one knew where we were and we had no way home. I didn't have a licence or car, and I was forbidden by the Dollars from taking cabs; lots of mob women were kidnapped by cab drivers. It slowly started to come to me that I'd be responsible for all of us tonight; I doubt they thought of that when they chose to come to a bar.

By the time all the shots were gone, they were looking a little…. uh…. how do I put this nicely? No, there's no way to nicely say it, so I won't bother. I had my eyes in my hands while Paul looked to be on verge of puking and Mr. Grey falling over anytime now. I can't believe how idiotic these guys are. And now I have to take care of everyone; I didn't mind that so much the more I thought about it. I didn't know Mr. Grey well enough but I knew Paul- he only got drunk when he knew it was safe to do so, which wasn't often. In a weird way, I felt a bit trusted by them; they trusted me to handle things if they got bad…. Paul proceeded to vomit on the floor. Which they just have…..

"Paul, are you alright?" I rushed over to his side. He was so out of it, he didn't even acknowledge my arrival. "Looks like someone had a little too much," Mr. Grey slurred from his side of the table. My eyes rolled for like the hundredth time that night. "Mr. Grey, what are you doing?" "Mr. Grey? Who's "Mr. Grey"? Mr. Grey is my father." Ugh. "Christian! What are you doing? Put that down!" I went to snatch the newly-opened beer out of his hand.

"Did you just call me "Christian"? Awe, say it again; I love it when you call me that," he cooed. "Christian, you need some water; both of you do. Stay here while I get you some," I instructed. "Isn't my wife wonderful?" This made me stop in my traces. "What did you just say?" My head spun right around to face him; he was smiling so adoringly at me. "My wife, my faceless angel… I've finally found you. I'm so happy….." _"Sleep, my wife. You need not worry; I will keep holding you like this." _That voice in my head just now…. It sounds like… It sounds like….

"You're drunk, Christian. Just wait, I'll get you some water." "But I'm going to faaaaaaall," I'd never heard him talk like this before; it was weird. "Then go lay… go lay on the pool table," that was the best I could think of at the moment. "Capital idea! Come lay with me?" His arms stretched out for me. I sighed, rolling my eyes yet again. There was certainly nothing in the relationship contract about this. With my support, I carried Christian over to the table, where he proceeded to lay down all comfy on it. He smiled up at me, reaching his hand up to caress my cheek and brush a few stray hairs from my face with his thumb. The corners of his smile intensified as he stared into my eyes. "Teddy looks like you," was the last thing he said before he passed out. Teddy? Who's Teddy?

Paul noticed this by now and was also waving his arms out for me. "I wanna sleep too!" "Alright, I'm coming," I came over to help Paul stumble over to the pool table. He laid down right beside Christian, also blacking out. Looking at the two unconscious men, I sighed to myself before pulling out my burner phone. "Hi, Kate. It's me; listen, I know it's late, but I need a favor."

By the time Kate pulled up in her car, I had somehow managed to get both men's bodies outside onto a bench. She was laughing hysterically at the sight. "This is gold!" "Shhhh! Don't wake them up!" I put my finger to my lips. "Oh, they're not waking up anytime soon." "Just help me get them home." We drove to Christian's apartment. We brought him up first, then Paul. Once inside and Kate took off, I got them all set and comfy on each one of the couches in Christian's living room. I put pillows under their heads and covered them with fluffy blankets. Not wanting to be far from them, I then pushed the coffee table out of the way, making myself a little bed in between the two couches. It took me a while to get to sleep, I just kept listening to the sound of them breathing….

I have no clue why, but something definitely changed that night onwards. Maybe it was me, or maybe it was Christian, but something changed…. I just didn't know it by the time I fell asleep.

And yes, looking back I do consider this one of the best- certainly funniest- nights of my life.


	35. Your Eyes Kissed Mine

-"No… It can't be. Are you sure it's the same woman? Anastasia Steele?" "The DNA test confirms it; she's the only child of Carla Wilks and Ray Steele." "Holy shit…." Elena fell up against the wall behind her. Her ex-husband hadn't contacted her in years; he was one of the most power mob lords on the planet. He was also deeply, deeply in love with Carla long ago.

"You work with her, right?" James was on the other end of the line; he was in the same room with Lord Lincoln. His boss was currently sitting in his "throne", rubbing his thumb continuously under his lower lip. "W-well yes, but…." "Send over whatever information you can dig up on her; her and Steele." "I… I think will be difficult," Elena peered up at her ceiling nervously. There was a brief quiet. "Why?" "B-because she's in a fake relationship with Christian now. He's gonna watch her like a hawk."

James gazed back to lord Lincoln, who was listening to the conversation. He took a moment to reply. "Fake relationship?" The boss finally asked; he did not sound happy. Elena was terrified to respond; she was well-aware how deadly her ex-husband could be. "What do you mean by fake relationship? Why would they do that?" James piled on in her silence. "I-I… I don't know. There was this contract…." "Contract?" "A relationship contract, yes. I have no idea why they would do this."

James's eyes returned back to lord Lincoln; the news did not please him- not at all. "A relationship… a relationship with my princess." "Grey's harmless, sir," James quickly noted, trying to diffuse his boss's growing jealously. "He's close to Anastasia," lord Lincoln said in his usual low, dark tone. James knew what to do, trying back to the phone. "Elena, you are to break them up and keep them apart." "I can't do that!" She gasped fantic. "You're in love with Christian, aren't you? If you don't want anything to happen to your precious Christian Grey, you'll do everything in your power to separate them."

"Wait," lord Lincoln's hand rose up in a thoughtful manner. "Boss?" James blinked back confused. "Just keep an eye on them right now; don't do anything suspicious. One wrong move, and Steele will ship Anastasia out of the country. Let us know how much physical contact they have, and where they go together." "Sir?" This confused both Elena and James; it was unusual for his boss to act so… calmly and rationally. Seeing his puzzled expression, lord Lincoln grinned sinisterly at the man. "I think one finger for every time he touches her ought to do it. And if he sleeps with her…. That'll be a very special amputation."-

The next time, I opened my eyes I was laying on a familiar endless valley. Ah, I'm dreaming again, my eyes shut again. _"You're awake again."_ That voice…. I gazed over to see a familiar sight sitting beside me; the same male angel from before. A smile bloomed across my lips as my hand stretched up to touch his flawless, pale, warm cheek. "You're still here….." _"Of course, I am; it is where you are."_ His strong hand covered overtop of mine. This man… this personification of absolute perfection…

"Where did you come from?" _"It is impossible to say."_ "You don't think I'll understand?" I chuckled softly. His grin widened and he caressed the top of my head, gently brushing back my hair over and over. _"My dearest one, I would never think anything of the sort. It is not something I can say but must show." _"Show me what?" I asked as my eyes started to relax; the sensation of his hand rubbing my head was magical…. I could have fallen asleep like this. His piercing blue eyes lowered onto me.

"_What I am. I am the combination of all of me. In every world, in every universe, I experience them all; I am the essence that ties them all together." _The multi-universe theory… I remember him mentioning something about that before. "So….. we are in another reality right now?" He nodded. _"Some are quite similar to yours, while some are very different. The only constant between them all is that we meet, and fall in love…"_ My gazed softened ponderingly. "And you have access to all these universes?" _"Each and every one; I am omniscient."_ All-seeing, huh? Maybe it's an angel thing. "And….. do you visit every Ana in her dreams too?" He nodded in the most profound, most affectionate way. _"Every one."_ This wonderful, wonderful entity… My lips parted a silver. "Can you show me a very different one?" He stared down at me for a moment, proceeding then to lift my upper half into his arms like the other night. I shut my eyes, taking in a deep, glorious breath; I loved nothing more than when he held me.

The next time I opened my eyes, I found myself in what appeared to be a hotel room. I was standing now, still in the shirt I had fallen asleep in last night. After a quick gaze around behind me, I was stunned to see a large bed…. with me in it! Holy crap! That's….. that's me! Only much younger; like maybe twenty-one. Man, I looked good for twenty-one. She, or I, was currently sitting up and in what looked to be a male t-shirt. Her hair was all messy and she seemed a bit disoriented. She clearly couldn't see me standing right there at the foot of her enormous bed.

"Why am I here, Christian?" Christian? My eyes widened. So he's here too? Wait a minute… but that means that in this universe, I met Christian when I was younger. And I doubt Daddy would ever let me stay in a hotel room alone with any man then. But then, perhaps Daddy was also different in this universe…. Who knows?

Christian emerged from the bathroom shirtless and I had to cover my eyes. Why isn't he wearing a shirt or towel or something?! Does he want me to think he's hot? Well yeah, actually probably. But still! No! No thinking about any of… that! "You're here because I'm incapable of leaving you alone." This made my still-covered eyes grow a bit. Wow, so forward; even in this universe. He did look older than me too here; personally, I preferred us being the same age. Though there's probably lots of universes where I'm older than him; I just happened to luck out with mine.

Still shielding my eyes with my hand, I looked back to this version's Ana. Boy, she didn't have any problem gawking at shirt-less Christian. Yep! Definitely don't have overprotective father or hundreds of thugs monitoring her in this reality. "Then don't," she said in almost a whisper. My eyes rolled. I don't sound like that, do I? Then again, I was younger here; age matures people, some. Shutting my eyes again, I was transported back to the field where my angel was waiting for me. We turned to each other, him grinning not too far from where I was.

"Thank you, but I think I like my reality better," I tried to be polite. This made him laugh. _"Good, that's how it's supposed to be. Each reality is tailored to bring you and me the most pleasure. The differences lay on the surface, but underneath it all, you are still the same deep down inside."_ My happy smile returned to my mouth. He's always thinking of me… and so kind. I was overcome with this desire to wrap my arms around him- and hopefully never let go.

"So everything that's happening with me now, back in my world? That's all intentional?" _"Not everything; others have control as we do. But in terms of you meeting me, yes…. Oh yes, dear Anastasia." _"I see….." Tears started to form in the corner of my eyes. He loves me… There's no other way to describe it. He simply, purely loves me- Anastasia Steele. My beloved angel floated over to stand right in front of me. He cupped both my cheeks in his hands, giving them a little, tender squeeze. "Please let me stay here with you." _"But you are already with me," _he chuckled warmly. "No, I mean I want to stay here forever. I hate forgetting you when I'm awake." _"I know… I know. But you never forever my essence; not really. Each time you look at me while awake, you kiss me with your eyes. I know you love me, even if you do not consciously remember it…."_ I do, my hands rose to grab onto his wrists. I really, really do….

"_Take comfort in this, in me. When dawn approaches and you wake up, I am still with you; always with you. And until the time when you remember again, I'll soak in each and every one of your precious kisses. Let your eyes kiss me…. My daily taste of perfection." _


	36. Punished Protection

My eyes fluttered open very slowly. That man, that angel… And just as quickly as I thought about him, he vanished entirely from my mind. That's when I noticed something heavy very close to me. My eyes shot wide open at the sight of Christian laying down… right next to me! He was sleeping soundly, breathing slowly and deeply. His eyes were shut, and his face was completely relaxed. I don't… I have no clue why, but in that moment, he looked so beautiful, so extraordinary to me. The way his hair fell over his face, the slight pinkness in his cheeks… I merely stared for a moment, eventually bringing my hand up to caress the side of his face. He didn't stir at all. While I was petting him, my eyes began to lower as a warm smile bloomed across my face. No, I can't love you…. not publicly anyways. We're from two different worlds; it just wouldn't work. But… My grin deepened almost sadly. In brief, rare moments like this when no one is watching me, I can do whatever I want. I can like whoever I please…. I can admire your inner and outer beauty in fleeting moments like now, Christian….

A sudden snore made me flinch. With much effort, I peered over my shoulder to see Paul also asleep… on the other side of my make-shift bed! I was sandwiched in between these two guys! He was just as zonked out as Christian, lying flat on his back not so near me. They both must have crawled down here at some point last night; I was too tired to even notice them. While they continued to snooze away their hangovers, I suddenly remembered everything from last night- and I do mean everything. Namely that I forgot to call one very important person. _"Call your dad!"_ Uh oh… Nervously yet quickly, I reached over to grab my personal phone. All my insides winced at the alert of seven missed phone calls and a billion text messages from a bunch of people; but one caller stood out more than the rest. Oh, I had screwed up- big time.

I was sitting on a chair in the middle of Daddy's office at the manor. He was angrily pacing the floor in front of me; his hands clasped behind his back. I was in such a hurry to get here that I left Christian's without waking either him or Paul up. I did leave some juice, pills, and breakfast for them, as well as a note. But all my thoughts were on getting here as quickly as possible. Daddy knew where I was last night; all Dollars had tracers in their personal phones. He didn't say anything for a long time, which was a very, very bad sign- for me, that is. Eventually, he glared down at me with only the sternness and anger a father could achieve. If you've ever made your dad really mad, you know what I mean.

"I am absolutely disgusted with you, Anastasia. Do you know how of out my mind with worry I was last night? Why didn't you call or at least text me? Why did you leave it up to Odo to tell me about the break-in?" Odo? Oh! He must mean Mr. Bodyguard. I tried to look as sincere and sorry as possible, which I was. "I… was going to but… got kinda busy." "With Grey? I thought I made it clear to you. You are not to get overly attached to that boy. Why did you go to his apartment of all places last night? You should have come to the manor." "I know… I know; I was wrong. I made a mistake." "You damn right you did. I had every Dollar searching for that Black all night." This made my eyes grow a little. "You mean….. Mr. Bodyguard….. I mean Odo didn't catch him yesterday?" "No, and neither did the police. He's still out there; don't you get it, Ana? Why do you insist on making this hard for me?" "I'm not trying to! I agreed to being in a fake relationship with Christian, er Mr. Grey." "Well, you can kiss that goodbye." "Huh?" My heart skipped a nervous beat. Daddy's head shook angrily. "You'll never see him again. This has gone too far. You're too vulnerable here."

I then watched as my father proceeded to turn to face me; his expression a bit gentler this time. Gentle but still quite firm. "I've decided you're going to go to Florence for the weekend. We should have Black by then." "F-Florence?!" My eyes grew huge. He nodded. To my utter horror, he then walked over to his desk, opened one of its drawers, and pulled out my passport. My missing passport! My mouth was literally dangling open when he gave it to me.

"You're flights already booked; you leave tonight." "How did you…..? Daddy, where did you find that?! I've been looking everywhere!" "It's ok, sweetheart; Daddy's gonna handle everything. All you have to do now is go and lay low in Florence. We have connections there; you'll be safe." My gaze narrowed onto him suspiciously. This was all very sudden for a weekend trip. "When did you book the flight?" I had the nerve to ask. "Last night, when you refused to answer your phone," he said back in a very strict tone. This shocked me, but of course he immediately read my expression. "This isn't a punishment, honey. I just don't think it's safe for you to be in the city right now; I want you as far away from here… and Grey as possible." "Mr. Grey didn't do anything wrong, Daddy," my eyes narrowed onto him. His stare fixed sharply onto mine. "Oh yes, he did. He couldn't keep you safe and he didn't bring you home last night. As far as I'm concerned, any interaction you had with him is over." This was an order; I knew an order when I heard it. But… something odd became to bloom inside of me. He said this; I heard him say it but…. I didn't want it to be the end. As a friend or more, I didn't want Christian out of my life so soon. This was the first time I'd ever thought about secretively disobeying my father; I was very open about my disobedience against his wishes for me being his successor.

I decided to not mention Christian anymore, electing instead to flip through my newly-found passport. My finger stopped and my heart sank at a new visa sticker on one of the pages. Daddy knew I saw and waited patiently for my reaction. I just turned up to him in shock and terror. "Daddy, why is there a UK visa in my passport?" No reply, he simply watched me. "Daddy, why do I have a new visa? I never applied for one!" I sat up, growing more terrified by the moment. When Daddy still failed to say anything, a horrific realization befell me. My eyes goggled onto him in pure bewilder. "Daddy….. are you trying to get me a UK passport?"

"Jerome, would you please see Ana to her room?" He went to knock on the door, letting it be opened by our manor's most trusted butler. I felt like I was on the verge of crying. "Daddy! Daddy! What are you doing?! Why would you do that?!" "Come, Miss Steele," sadly Jerome took my arm, carefully guiding me out of the room. Before we left, Daddy sent me one last look; he seemed calm and decided, which unnerved me. "Have fun in Italy, sweetheart; and for god's sake, be careful." "Daddy, why…?" A delayed tear finally rolled down my cheek. His eyes softened right onto mine.

"Anastasia, I lost your mother. There's no way I'm losing you too- the last person I love in this world."


	37. Disoriented Pieces

-"Well, this is a surprise. I didn't think you of all people would reach out to me. I thought Eric wanted you to stay out of the underworld." "He called me last week. He mentioned your name and I knew I had to find you. I have a question; lots of questions," Elena sat at one side of a table in a local café safely downtown. Opposite her was the informant, Black; his hands were clasped and one of his legs relaxingly up. "Questions for little old me?" He cooed innocently enough. Elena knew how risky it was for her to be here however and was in no mood for games.

"Cut the crap, Arthur. I know you're searching for Ray's daughter- Anastasia Steele." "You know her, then?" Black's lips curled into a knowing smirk. "We work together, though I don't know if she'll ever return to the office again." "Likely not," he chuckled to himself. "You got the attention of my ex-husband. What are you playing at?" "Do you care for the girl?" Black's eyes slowly began to lower onto her. "Decidedly not, but she's an important core that'll cause a ripple effect if she's plucked." "You're smarter than Eric gives you credit for," he then laughed.

"I'm serious. Why are you trying to find Hyde? And better yet, why are you trying to save her? To warn Anastasia about Hyde and my ex-husband?" "Oh, I'm not doing it out of the kindness of my heart; I could care less about the princess or Eric." This made Elena shutter; this was something very, very dangerous to say out loud. Satisfied with her scared reaction, the informant continued. "I don't care, but my current employer does. It'd be convenient for all of us if Hyde disappeared. But seeing as Lincoln already knows about Anastasia, I guess the whole thing's pointless now." "You didn't answer my question." "Not that it's any of your business, Jacobson still resents Steele. But he doesn't want his daughter and only heir to die. If she dies, that'll create a power vacuum. Plus, she's an innocent woman; he's not that heartless," Black tossed his hand nonchalantly in the air.

"So Jacobson's hired you to tell Anastasia about Hyde and Eric, on top of killing Hyde?" "See? You are quick," Black flashed her a brilliant smile. "Why not just tell Steele and let him take care of it?" Elena was more than a little confused, raising a suspicious eyebrow. "Oh, you know how Ray is." "No, I don't actually. I just recently learned that Anastasia was his daughter." "Well if I told him, he'd destroy Anastasia's passport so fast; after she was settled in Europe of course. My research tells me that he's already cancelled her PhD offer here and transferred it to York. She'll be moving there very soon I'm sure." "She's leaving the country?! For good?" Elena's eyes widened in shock. "I'm sure she'll come back to visit her husband. He'll run the Dollars while she lives safety across the Atlantic. Or at least until Steele discovers that Anastasia's infertile."-

"You didn't have to escort me to the airport," I scowled over to Mr. Bodyguard, who was sitting right beside me with his stupid arms crossed in that stupid way. We were taking transit to the airport; Daddy ordered that he didn't leave my side until I made it through security. "You don't think I have uses of my time? Like finding Black and crushing him?" He didn't even look at me. Oh, stupid me; how could I not see that? My eyes rolled as I pulled out my burner phone. Daddy made me leave my personal phone at the manor; I doubt I'd ever see it again. There was a text from an unknown number; not Christian, Paul, or Kate's. [Hey babe. My old man said he ran into you last week. We should meet up sometime. Jason]

Jason? Who's Jason? Jason, Jason….. Oh wait. _"My son's about your age. His name's Jacob. I'll bring him around the manor sometime."_ Don't tell me…. That twin lap-dancer dick I saw in the Five-Way Catacomb? Ugh, gross! His dad must have given him my new phone number. This was so not what I needed right now. With the biggest eyeroll ever done by humankind, I deleted the message and shoved the phone back into my pocket. I just stared out the window the rest of the journey, which was about ten minutes long.

Of course Mr. Bodyguard was glued at my side the entire way in. I got my tickets, checked in my bag, and went to security. At the entrance, I turned thankful to soon be chaperon-less. Finally! "Well, thanks for everything. I'll see you when I get back," I wasn't looking at him while talking; I was too in a hurry to get through the gate. But as I was about to may my mad dash, a strong hand took hold of my upper arm. I blinked back in surprise to see Mr. Bodyguard holding onto me; once again with a torturous grip. Though I don't think it was this harsh on purpose; I doubt he knew his own strength.

His face was… sincere. Really, really sincere; a sincerity I'd never seen from him before. We gazed at each other for a second, though it felt much longer than that. Eventually his lips parted a tad; he wasn't smile. "Don't die." "Huh?" "It'd be a real inconvenience if you died, so don't; alright?" W-what is he talking about? Where is this coming from? If I didn't know any better, I'd say he was actually worried about me- a little. "I… don't plan to," my lips spurted out, not really sure what to say to this. His eyes narrowed sternly onto mine. "I mean it. I'll fly to Florence to save your ass if I have to."

Oh….. oh, ok; I knew what this was. It didn't take a genuine to know that this was the kindest, most authentic thing Mr. Bodyguard would ever say to me. That's how men like him showed affection, that they cared…. Don't get me wrong! He was still my annoyed babysitter, but… maybe he didn't hate me as much as I thought he did. I smiled and he relaxed his grip a little. I smiled up at him pleased… "I'll be careful, I promise." He didn't verbally reply, finally letting go of my arm. With one last wave his way, I then went to go through security.

Once on the other side, I quickly found my gate and sat down. While waiting, I pulled out my passport again, flipping to the page with the UK visa. Daddy…. My eyes narrowed upset upon it. Why would do this? What are you up to? As I inspected, something caught my eye. Wait… This is an extended Tier 4 visa; the kind you get for PhD…. On the visa, it said my place of residence was York. York? Why York of all places? And why a PhD visa? Was it easier for him to get me one because I'm a student? But no… that doesn't make sense. You can only get one of these visas if you're registered with a UK university, which I am not. Daddy must have pulled some strings, but I have no clue what those strings might be. I'll have to have a long talk with him when I get back.

That's when I spotted a little, wrapped box hidden inside my bag. Curious- I don't remember packing that. Pulling it out, I opened it; inside was this black bracelet with a small button on the side of the top. Huh, what's this? I ponderingly examined it; didn't look like a normal bracelet. Everything suddenly made sense when I found a police logo at the bottom. _There's something I want to give you. _

Awe! It's an emergency bracelet from Paul; he must have slipped it into my bag before we went to the bar the other night. Just in case he got too drunk to remember to give it to me. He wanted to make sure I had it. So sweet, a warm smile crossed my lips. I happily put it on my right wrist; sure, it wouldn't work in Italy, but it still felt good to wear something from him. If I couldn't wear Christian's colors, Paul was definitely not a bad second. With that, I kept smiling and pulled out a book to start reading.

"_Florence?! She's on her way to Florence?!" Christian was pacing his living room floor while Paul leaned up against the table with his arms folded and head down; Jason was also there, also leaning up against a wall. Christian was currently on the phone with Jerome, Mr. Steele's righthand man. "Yes, sir; she'll be spending some time there." "W-what are you talking about? Anastasia never said anything about Italy!" "It was…. an unexpected surprise from her father, sir. Also, I've been instructed to inform you that Miss Steele will not be completing her internship. Would you please terminate her contract as soon as possible?" "She wha-….? Is this because of the situation with Black?" Christian was absolutely floored and sick with worry. Paul was in the same boat, though he chose to listen quietly in the background for the moment._

"_I'm not at liberty to say, sir." "Well…. when will she be returning? What hotel is she staying at?" "I cannot say, sir." "Uh, well….." Christian began to understand that he wouldn't get any substantial answers from this conversation. When Jerome didn't say anything more, Christian saw fit to end the call. "Thank you for letting us know, Jerome. I appreciate it." "Certainly, sir. Until next time," click. The CEO sighed and hung up; he turned to face both men with a defeated expression._

"_Anastasia's gone to Florence. My guess is that Steele got scared after Black's break-in and sent her away." "So, she's in Florence- alone- right now?" Paul growled, still not taking his stare off the floor. "I doubt that she's alone, but yes; she's out of the country for who knows how long." "Dammit!" Paul whispered under his breath. "So what now, boss?" Jason asked Christian. "We need to be smart about this and figure it out. It's obvious that Steele's gone into protection-mode. But we definitely need to do something." Christian could barely contain his worried; it actually scared him how worried-sick he was. And Paul…_

_They both blinked when Paul suddenly straightened up and started marching silently towards the front door. "Where are you going?" Christian frowned. "Where do you think?_

_I'm going to catch Black."_


	38. A Choice for Me

"This way, miss," the nun led me up the staircase. Of course, only Daddy booked me into a frikin convent; and a gated convent at that. I wasn't that upset- or surprised- though. This place was literally right by the gigantic dome cathedral and was over five hundred years old. It was gorgeous inside, despite every window having bars on them. This lady brought me to an old study room, now converted into a hotel room. It was lovely, to say the least. She handed me an old-fashioned key and left me with a smile.

I tossed my backpack down on a nearby chair and left my bag in the middle of the floor. Still tired from the flight, I collapsed onto my bed, sprawling my arms out beside me. My eyes trailed up to the ceiling; there was still soot from the candles the nuns burned here back in the middle ages. Guess there's a law against cleaning that unless it's dangerous. My gaze started to lower into it thoughtfully.

That's it, huh? That's what I am: a chess piece for more powerful men to move around their board. I don't go places; I'm moved. But then, my situation isn't that different from other daughters of powerful, very rich men. Freedom for women like me would be inconvenient for those who even love us. I guess one way out of my father's overprotective thumb would be marriage… but I'm a PhD candidate; I don't need a man to save me. That being said, I'm not doing a very good job of saving myself. My lips parted a sliver.

It's not that I don't want to rescue myself or change my situation, but it's hard; harder than most people think. I'm surrounded by powerful men who all want something from me, even if that's just me staying alive like Daddy. No one ever asked what I want; I don't think they care… Just like all those princesses in history married off without so much as considering their opinion. I could resist; I could try to run but…. I part of me doesn't want to. I truly love my father- I'd never want to do anything to hurt him. And when I'm honest with myself, I do need some protection.

I rolled onto my side, now staring at the pale, faded yellow wall. He's right… I know he's right. I've almost died before. The memory of me getting stabbed zoomed through my mind. I made a choice for myself before, and now I have to pay for it. If I choose to run, I'll have to live with those consequences too. No one will be responsible for them but me. And besides, running is virtually impossible. The Dollars, or god forbid the Yellow Scarves would find me; sooner or later, they'd sniff me out. Then Daddy bind me in ribbons acting as chains. Maybe I'm crazy, or maybe I'm weak…. But maybe choosing not to run and just work with these godfathers can be my choice as well. Being Daddy's successor does give me some power, my gaze drifted over to Paul's bracelet on my wrist. Who knows? Maybe I can use that power to elect a new successor- someone I trust…..

The next day was Saturday- Saturday in Florence. I did all the touristy things. I went to the palace and spent much-too-much time in the gardens. While there, I wandered through the rose garden longer than most sections. I love roses… I have no idea where this comes from, but I love anything rose. Rose Jam is my all-time favorite scent family from Lush, which I also visited while in Italy. I sat down on a cement bench, watching some Italian kids play nearby. My eyes scrolled to the whole view that was the city of Florence.

What a beautiful city; I could most happily live here. But then, I love all of Europe, particularly Amsterdam, Florence, Salzburg, and of course, York. I'm not surprised Daddy chose Yorkshire for his ridiculous visa. Our family has land there. Not that I'll be going there anytime soon. I sighed and placed my hands behind them so to lean on them. Staring at the gorgeous, medieval city made me start to think, ponder aimlessly….

I was surprised to find myself thinking about how much I wished Christian could see this. What?! What am I thinking about this, about him? He just sort of appeared in my mind… out of nowhere, he was there. Leaning forward a bit, I pulled out my burner phone. Then in my other pocket, I grabbed a small, folded piece of paper. Written on it were Christian, Paul, and Kate's numbers. I wrote them down before my personal phone was confiscated, just in case…

This was the most defiant thing I'd ever done towards Daddy. He told me to stay away from Christian, and probably has the same opinion of Paul…. But this wasn't like literally running away or denying the succession. This was something directly, personally for me. Even just the act of copying their phone numbers…. That in itself was something I did for me. This wasn't the gang or the succession I was playing with; it was my heart. And I was done playing with my heart. Course if I did stay, I'll likely end up in some arranged marriage with a creep like Jason….. But the time in between now and then belongs to me, my hand wrapped around the precious slip of paper. It's ok for me to treasure it.

With that, I pulled out my burner phone; it twirled in my fingers. Now what? How am I going to spend this treasured period of freedom I have? What choice am I going to make? I remember wanting a choice, any choice so badly back in the police office that night… It appears now I have one; I've found one for myself. What do I do with it? What do I really want? What does the real me want for myself?

That's obvious. I want a PhD and to write; I want to embrace the writer within me. But there's more… There's more than that. I gripped the phone in my hand. This rare moment alone has given me some clarity, I think… Back home I'm so worried about others and what they want. I'm pushed and pulled by forces beyond my control. Yet here, it's just me; me and my thoughts- a tender moment of silence. And there are voices, faint whispers in the silence….. in me. For once, I can hear them.

Can I hear these whispers now because of my feelings? Ever since I met Christian, something inside me has begun to change, to grow… I've been smiling much more with him around, and when he holds my hand… I feel like I'm going to die. No one has ever made me feel that way before. He makes me so happy and yet, there's a whole world I can't show him, let him into. He doesn't know me; not really- there's so much to me that he can't see. He makes me happy, and that in turn makes me sad…. really sad when I think about it.

We'll part one day; we'll have to. Christian…. I can't help but consider… we'll have to say goodbye someday. I will go and marry whoever is decided for me. I'll spend the rest of my life in a world totally separate from yours. My eyes peered down at the phone. A world without you… But not yet; I still have this time, and I'm going to spend it however I want. And Christian… I flipped the phone open and began pressing buttons. I want to spend it with you.

[Hi Christian- it's me. It's Anastasia]


	39. Protecting This Warmth

"I have something to show you; something important." _That's what my faceless angel said to me. And while I slept soundly on my flight over the Atlantic, a series of memories played out inside my mind; they swirled just like a movie. But they weren't my memories… I don't know whose they were or where they came from. All I knew is that they were important- my beloved angel told me so._

_Twenty-Eight Years Ago:_

"_Would you like to come to the hospital with me, Eric?" "Is Carla still there?" "Yes; she and the baby." His eyes narrowed profoundly. "Yes."_

_The two men arrived to find Carla sitting in a nursing bed, coddling the newborn infant in her arms. She smiled down at it with such warmth and love…. A kind of love she'd never looked at Eric with before._

"_Awe, sweet Ana. You're such a good girl; yes, you are." Grinning himself, Ray went inside the hospital room. With one arm draped over his wife's shoulder, he put his hand on top of his tiny daughter's forehead. While they indulged the infant, Eric merely watched from the side; his arms folded and him leaning up against the doorframe. "Isn't she beautiful?" Ray asked his close friend. "Yes, beautiful…." Eric's eyes drifted onto the happy Carla while answering._

_After a moment, he relaxed his shoulders and face a tad. "Maybe it's a good thing after all… giving new life to this earth; one full of hidden promises and the other unknown factors that come with it." "Would you like to hold her, "Uncle" Eric?" Carla grinned over at him. Without another word, he came over to carefully take the baby in his arms; he was much calmer around the child than her new parents. "Doesn't she look like Carla?" Ray asked. "It's too early," his eyes narrowed onto the sleeping infant. She didn't look a thing like Carla in his opinion, but there was still time…._

_That night, in the infant ward, while Eric's men took care of Carla- he could not bear to watch- the monster of man approached the baby girl. He stood over her cradle, watching her sleep for a long moment._ "Doesn't she look like Carla?" _"Carla….." He remembered to breathe. Even the mere thought of her name… That precious, precious woman- the mother of Ray's child. It was too much to bear._

_The baby cooed and Eric rubbed her cheek with one of his fingers. Unconsciously, the child reached up to wrap her tiny hand around his forefinger. His eyes narrowed sharply on her peaceful face. "So, you are Ray's heir? The little princess? The one Carla gave her life for…" His lower lip quivered for a second. "I hope you're worth it," he said as he was suddenly overcome to strangle the infant in her sleep. It took all his strength to refrain. The longer he watched her, the more the bloodlust swallowed his mind. Carla… I will let you grow and develop. And hopefully, you will look just like your mother; but still forever imperfect by that Steele blood tainting your veins._

_I -Christian- watched with wide eyes as the terrifying man loomed over the baby like a beast hungrily stocking its prey. And as I observed, I could hear his thoughts in my mind. _My first ally was myself. When I think of it, it was a long journey- too long. My soul must have been become exhausted a long time ago. After Carla's murder, I decided to enter a voluntary mental slumber, of which I had no intentions of ever waking from. Carla was dead, there was no reason for me to remember, to recall any memories of beauty in this world. _The man escaped the infant ward before Ray came running. He had blood on his shirt and was breathing heavily; he had been crying. He ran over to his daughter's cradle, inspecting it first before scooping the sleeping, now crying child into his arms. And while he wept, he held her close; as close as one could. The baby kept crying until her eyes locked onto mine. She just stared at me with now huge, curious eyes; mine growing equally as wide. Hesitantly, I stepped towards her._

"_Why are you showing me this?" _"I don't want you to hate my father. He's a good man."

_Reaching her, my right forefinger extended for her. Just like the other man, her tiny hand wrapped tightly around it; her eyes not moving off me the entire time. She gave a little squeeze; as much as a newborn could squeeze anything. I understand…. I see now: this is Anastasia- baby Anastasia. My eyes lowered gently onto her. I knew…. I felt I'd seen those eyes somewhere before; several times. And then… My lower lip dropped slightly. For some reason, the thought came to me…. No matter what, I want to protect this source of warmth. The image of adult Anastasia with Eric's hands impending all around her flashed through my mind. I won't remember any of this when I wake up, but I know for certain what I want now._

_I want to keep protecting this warmth._

I woke up in a cold sweat. A gasp erupted from my throat. W-what the hell was that? I was laying on my back in bed, with my hair all sprawled out around me. A dream… a dream with a man… a bad man; a dangerous man. He was reaching for me from behind while I was blissfully unaware. Instead I was too busy looking at another… One right in front of me, with my hand wrapped around his finger. Just like that, it was all erased from my memory. I laid there motionless for a second more, unaware of the red rose lying beside me on the other pillow. 


	40. He Looked at Me, Dear Reader

A rose? Where did a rose come from? Perhaps the nun brought it in….. while I was sleeping. Creepy!

I forgot about it surprisingly fast. I got up, had a shower and got dressed, and went to meet Christian at the airport. The last text he sent to me read: [Will be landing in six hours]. That was late last night. The airport was pretty busy for a Sunday; but then, airports here are always busy. Christian's plane hadn't arrived by the time I got there, so I used the opportunity to wipe all texts from my burner phone- just in case- god forbid- a Dollar or Mr. Bodyguard finds it. Luckily for me, his plane had landed by the time that was done.

An array of people got off and there he was- Christian Grey. I merely observed as he rushed out, glancing around until he saw me. He saw me and we stared for I don't know how long. It wasn't that long though as we hurried over to each other; he scanned me repeatedly in a concerned fashion. "Anastasia! Are you ok?"

I have no idea why but right then I was overcome with this urge to hug him. I wanted to throw my arms around his neck and hold him close, but refrained. He's here, but that doesn't mean I can get attached. I can treasure this time together, so long as I don't get attached… Instead I clasped my hands in front of me and smiled. "I'm fine. I'm sorry, Christian; this whole thing was so sudden and…." "No, don't apologize; I get it," he held up his hand while breathing a small sigh of relief; I swore I could see the hint of a grin in the corner of his lips. He then looked me straight in the eye.

"Your dad's worried about you. You're his only immediate family left; of course he's going to be concerned for your welfare and very protective." "Oh, thanks for understanding, Christian. I…. Wait," my eyes began to grow confused. He blinked to me also in confusion. "What is it, Anastasia?" "How… How did you know I'm Daddy's only family left?" It sounds bizarre coming from my mouth, but it was a legitimate question. Christian's expression morphed into one of stun and bewilderment, like he had no coherent answer to give me. His mouth opened but it took a moment for any words to fall out. It's like….. It's like he was running through the motions in his mind. "I don't…. I don't know. It's just something I know, but I didn't learn it from you or anyone. It's just there….." His gaze rolled out into nowhere ponderingly; I think he was struggling with this more than me. It was like the knowledge was just implanted in his brain or something. It's there somehow….. _"Each time you look at me while awake, you kiss me with your eyes. I know you love me, even if you do not consciously remember it."_ Something's definitely there…. down deep in our subconscious- unable to be accessed by conscious thought.

I gave my head a firm shake. What the heck am I thinking about just now? That's just nonsense. Still…. I decided to drop it, seeing how perplexed this made Christian. My smile simply softened upon him in a kind way. "Thank you, Christian, for coming all this way." "Oh, Anastasia- it wasn't a choice. I had to see with my own eyes that you were alright." I think….. I think he immediately regretted saying this; it just came out so naturally, organically… like he was being unguarded and honest for a sheer second. While my cheeks turned the brightest shade of red and my eyes widened, he flinched a little alarmed by the words coming out of his mouth. He cleared his throat and straightened up, going into immediate repair mode.

"I mean, I'm glad to see you're well, Anastasia." "Christian…." My cheeks were still burning. He didn't mean to say it, but I heard him. I heard… "Where have you been staying?" "At this convent near the cathedral." "Is it gated?" "Yes." "Good," another sigh of relief. This man… I kept watching him with the widest of eyes. He really cares about me…. and only after knowing me for such a short period. Why? And why do I feel like I'm on cloud nine right now? Why do I feel "that" way…. whenever he looks at me with those flawless blue eyes of his? As irony would have it, Christian looked at me right now, and my heart skipped a beat- several beats. I was still astounded how someone could look better- both inside and out- each time you looked at them. Was such a thing even possible? Evidently so…..

"Where are you staying?" I had to break the sudden spell I was under. "At a hotel near the airport, but I'm going to switch to a place closer to where you are staying." Christian… Why… Why did he have to say things like that? It didn't help anything when he smiled my way. "Now then, how would you like to spend our time here, Miss Steele?" "Huh? Oh! We can do whatever you want. I'm happy with anything you like." He chuckled. "In that case, I've already pre-booked us passes to all the museums in Florence." "You what?" My jaw literally dropped. He managed to get passes on such short notice?! How awesome was that?! His expression mirrored my elated grin.

"Which museum would you like to visit first? We have all day," after he switches hotels of course. I thought for a moment. "Uh, how about Galleria dell'Accademia?" I'm sure I was pronouncing that wrong. He nodded. "Perfect." Oh boy, did I flinch hard when he suddenly grabbed my hand. This time I was quick enough to yank it away from him, taking a step backward. "W-what are you doing?!" I gasped a little too loud. He blinked over at me puzzled for a second. Then the most tender smile graced his lips. "We're fake boyfriend and girlfriend, aren't we? We're supposed to look like a couple." Fake…. Oh right! Technically we haven't terminated that relationship contract yet. Until I formally ended it, we were still in a pretend relationship. I was allowed to pretend here, to keep pretending….. Without thought, without hesitation, I suddenly and unconsciously found myself dashing over to him; my arms hugged his tightly. He seemed all too happy with this, shining his smile down upon me. Together like that, we left the airport arm-in-arm.

We did everything that day. We went from museum to museum, only stopping when we needed something to drink in between. Of course we also visited Dante Alighieri's house too; couldn't visit Florence and go there as an English major. I told Christian all about Florence's history, the writers and philosophers from there, and much more. He even took my picture in front of the Machiavelli statue; yes, I've read and own "The Prince"- don't judge me.

By evening, we went to a little café for a rest. Christian ordered a coffee and slice of cake, while I got tea with strawberries and whipped cream- which I loved. We ate outside with the cathedral in view behind us. This gorgeous man watched me quietly while I ate merrily. Eventually he broke the comfortable silence.

"Are you happy, Anastasia?" "Oh, yes; very. What about you? Are you happy?" "Of course I'm happy; I'm with you." This made me pause for a moment. He's with me…. We're together, for now; just for now. "By the way, I've been meaning to ask. That bracelet on your wrist… is that from Paul?" I blinked up surprised. "Huh? Oh, this! Yeah, he slipped this into my bag that night we all went to the bar," my eyes scrolled down to it thoughtfully. Christian was also looking at it, rubbing his finger under his chin; he wasn't smiling. "Are you…. ok with it?" "Yes, keep it on. I think it's useful for you to have." Whoa! That's not the answer I was expecting but good! I didn't want to take it off anyway. I nodded before returning to my parfait. But I hesitated with my spoon half way up to my mouth.

What am I doing? Christian's here because I texted him; it was me who initiated contact again. I don't… I don't want him to get the wrong idea or to lead him on. After all, I knew it was impossible for us to have a future together. I didn't….. It would be unethical for me to let him get his hopes up. More than anything, I had to be honest with him- about this anyway. I don't want to hurt him…. He's been so good to me; I don't want to see him get hurt. He doesn't deserve that.

"Anastasia?" Christian's eyebrow rose as I set my spoon back in the bowl. I looked up at me with sincerity permeating all throughout my eyes. He could already tell this was serious just by my stare alone. My hand rolled into uncomfortable fists on my lap. "Christian, can you… do something for me?" "Yes, anything- just name it." I drew in a deep, deep breath; this was going to be painful. "Please don't… get attached to me," this was so hard to say out loud; it sounded much easier in my head. His eyes grew in shock, but he didn't say anything, giving me the opportunity to continue.

"I'm not like other women…. I can't…. with my family and everything, I can't… I-I'm not in the position to fall in love. I don't… do the boyfriend thing; I can't. Hearts and flowers- that's not something I know," despite wanting to. He still didn't utter a word, letting me carry on. "I like you, Christian…. but this can't happen- anything. I'm not the woman for you…. I… I have to let you go," god, this was agonizing. I didn't want to say any of this; more than anything, I wanted things to be different. But I'm not an idiot- I know this is the way things are….. the way they have to be. We're from different worlds and….. _"Either you succeed me or marry the man who does."_ I can't drag him into my world; he's too good a man for that.

While I stared down at my lap, ready to burst out into tears now, Christian stared at me. He watched me silently for the longest time. I admit, I was surprised by his poised, almost calm reaction. He was startled but not overly shocked, I think. Instead he wore this look of understanding, almost confidence…. for some reason. In essence, he looked much too calm for a man who in all layman terms just got rejected. He eventually leaned back in his chair, clasping his hands together; all while still observing me intently.

"Is that how you really feel, Anastasia?" What? "I-it doesn't matter how I feel; that's the way things are." "Yes, it does; it matters how you feel." It matters how I feel…. There's something no one has said to me before. He saw my face and smiled, knowing he had a foothold. "I recall you telling me that you want to fall in love and get married someday." "You remember that!?" My eyes shot up to him dumbfounded. That dinner we had that time… He remembered what I said? His grin effortlessly grew. "Of course- you said that you want real love and to marry whomever you pleased." "C-Christian!" My hand rose up a little. Wait, I remember that day…. I remember.

"That's right; you wanted me to tell you a secret," I also recall telling him that I come from a big "family". How did he know that I was Daddy's only real family left then….? That's not what I said that day. Our eyes met again; my gaze intensifying. "And if I recall correctly, you said that there's someone very close to your heart- a woman. She's been there for… what was it….. eight years? You said she's close to you now?" His head very slowly and solemnly nodded, with his eyes not leaving mine. "W-who… who is she? You never said…." Likely the woman he loves; I couldn't look straight at him while asking this. He didn't reply right away; the edges of his eyes both tenderizing and intensifying at once. "She's the one I'm going to marry- the only woman I've ever looked at before; the only woman I can look at." My breath stilled for a moment, our eyes meeting once more; his deeply passionate and mine puzzled. "You're…. looking at me right now." Oh, his smile…. his smile.

"I know."


	41. Giordano

_I'm done waiting; she needs to know now. I need her to know…._

I was beyond confused. Christian said he was going to marry the only woman he'd ever looked at….. but he admitted to looking at me. He assured me that he'd explain everything once we got back home; I can't imagine what kind of explanation he could give. I can't be who he's talking about… who he's meant the whole time I've known him- that's simply impossible. Eight years? I don't ever remember meeting him eight years ago, and I know I would remember an Adonis like him. No, it can't be me… I can't think of a time when we would have met- either intentionally or unintentionally.

In that moment, I heard some birds chirping in a nearby tree. My foot came to a halt as my head turned to the happy, fluttering creatures. Birds…. I had what's referred to as a Proustian moment right then. I noticed them and was overcome with a familiar emotion, sensation. They looked so happy, so free…. I'd felt that somewhere before while watching birds, but where? What was I thinking of?

"_I'm sorry, Miss Steele; you won't be able to have children."_ That's right! I remember now! It was back in the gynecologist's office at the hospital, when I went in to hear my lab results. I was sitting on the lab table and watching the birds outside after receiving the news…. And just like that, I recalled that I couldn't get pregnant. My hand ran over my stomach overtop my shirt. I can't get pregnant because I got stabbed…. I can't believe I hadn't thought about that in a while now. I was stabbed in the stomach reign…. eight years ago. My eyes peered back over to the joyful birds. Eight years… Back then I jumped in front of that knife to save that guy; I never got a look at his face. But… No, that's also impossible. It would be too much of a coincidence if he were Christian. No… Life doesn't work like that; reality is too random. It can't be Christian; it can't. And even if it was- which I'm sure it's not- that doesn't explain how he would know it was me who took the knife for him. I'm pretty sure he didn't see my face either; my pink hood was up. _"Christian has this thing with the color pink."_ It can't be him- no. Just no…. Life doesn't work that way, right?

I decided to put it out of my head for now. I'll probably never see the man I saved; I'm content with that. I'm sure Christian has another explanation for me; I just have to wait to hear it. This was our first time apart since he arrived. The sun was setting, and we were winding down, sort of. He told me he had some business to take care of for his company. We parted ways, but not before he walked me to my uh, "hotel". He wanted me to stay in my room initially, but I thought it was too early to call it a night. Of course he worried until I informed him I'd be going to another nearby cathedral; I wanted to climb upstairs, which I could do with my museum pass now. Hearing that I was going to a church, he relented and we said goodbye. I then took the busiest route I could find to the very close building.

Ok, so I made many mistakes here and I'm not afraid to admit them. My first mistake was leaving my burner phone at the convent to charge; the battery was dead by then. My second mistake was wearing plastic Hollister sandals- you'll see why these were mistakes later. I got to the relatively empty cathedral; it was near closing time, for the dome anyway. No joke, another nun met me at the front desk. I smiled and presented my museum pass. She proceeded to print me out a ticket and open the heavy-looking iron gate for me. Huh, I wonder if they had trouble with people breaking in here. I went inside, only for the gate to slam shut behind me. I'll confess it made me jump; the nun took off and I realized that the only way to get out of here was to go forward. Let me just say: mistakes were made.

One thing about the evening here was it was hard to see rain clouds quickly come in. By the time I'd climbed the hundredth step- and no, I did not know I was signing on for this- the downpour had begun. Here is a list of my other mistakes: one- coming late when no one else was here; two- being stupid enough not to tell Christian the name of the cathedral I was at; and three- forgetting how slippery medieval polished grey stone can be in water.

No joke, the next hour of my life was one of the scariest. I was alone up in the rooftop of this five-hundred year old place. The halls were like mazes; there were no arrows pointing to which way I should go. And when you reach a dead end, you just come up against this stone brick wall- needless to say, I came to many dead ends. The worst part was when I reached the actual side of the rooftop. It was terrifying. Imagine a very slippery stone floor beneath your feet and all you're wearing is flipflops. There's no guard rail and you are very high up. One wrong move and you'll be falling quite a way. I was so scared at some points that I couldn't move my feet. This was one of the stupidest things I'd ever done, only made worse by the fact that it seemed so harmless before.

When I finally reached the other side of the rooftop, I had to take a breather. It then occurred to me that if I fell or anything happened to me up here, no one would hear me; I was too high up. And I didn't have my phone on me either… Talk about a terrifying situation. This was a whole new kind of danger I wasn't used to, and I was scared- very scared. Meeting him didn't help matters much either.

I remember walking down this weird, winding hallway. On the one side was pure stone bricks, while the other were these wide open gaps on the upper half of the wall- no windows. It seemed to go on forever; I just kept walking and walking. At some point, the combination of water and stone wrecked my sandal; it literally came apart on my foot while I was going. I paused to look down, only to see it falling off; the other wasn't much better. With the world's longest sigh, I rolled my eyes and took off both my sandals. Perfect- now on top of being soaked and frightened, I'm barefoot. I didn't see what more could go wrong. Then I looked forward.

There was a man there- standing right in front of me. It was so sudden and unexpected that I didn't reaction immediately; we just looked at each other in silence. He was…. oh god, how does one describe him? Maybe an example will help. If you've ever read the manga "Cantarella" he looked just like Chiaro with a cloak on. That's right- he wore a damn cloak! Short blonde hair peering out from under the dark hood; very pale skin, and these silver eyes. He was beautiful! Though also had this aura of danger and blood about him. It was so crazy… this was something straight out of a movie. You can't make this shit up.

This mystery man was the first person I'd seen up here; he wasn't all wet like me however. His eyes trailed from my face, to my sandals in my hand, back up to my face. Embarrassment suddenly overcame me. Oh right! This is a church, and here I am walking around barefoot. But he didn't address it… he didn't say anything. He merely stared at me with these unwavering eyes. When the awkwardness was too much for me to handle, I cracked a grin and rubbed the back of my neck with my free hand. "Uh, I was just trying to find my way out of here."

He didn't respond for a minute. Then I watched in horror as he came over to take my hand. His silver eyes shown down upon me as he stood close. "Follow me," he instructed. "U-uh, ok?" Thinking he may work here, I didn't see why I shouldn't; though he didn't have to hold my hand. But unlike Christian, this guy did intimidate me. He really intimidated me, if I'm honest. He gently lead me down the hall to his stone staircase covered from the rain; it was descending, thank god.

While on our way down, I examined the back of the guy's head. Why is he wearing a cloak of all things? It's weird… "Do you work here?" I finally had the courage to ask. "No," short, simple, and to the point. Alrightly then. "Do you come here often? You seem to know your way around." "I'm familiar with the city," I heard his Italian accent that time. So he's Italian then? I'm not surprised; but that still doesn't explain the cloak. Was he trying to be invisible or something?

The church bells rang, catching me by surprise. I flinched and we paused for a moment as I gazed all around us. "It's already that late? They're closing already?" I hadn't realized how long I was lost for. Cloak man peered back at me over his shoulder. "Come, we still have a way to go." "Uh, ok?" I mean he's gotten us this hard currently. While walking, I wanted to make small talk, just to banish the uncomfortable silence.

"S-so, are you from Florence?" "I'm Italian, yes." Well, I could figure out that much. Still, I tried to be polite. "You're lucky; this is a beautiful country." He didn't say anything, continuing to guide me down by the hand. I forced myself to say more; the quiet was making me nervous. "W-what do you? For a living, I mean…" God, Ana; try not to sound so idiotic next time, I inwardly winced. "I'm a specialist of sorts." "Oh! That's cool. What's your trade?" Once again, no reply; though I did notice his grip on my hand tighten.

I didn't bother trying to talk after that; I just endured the silence. When we reached the bottom, I was surprised to see him pick the lock open. He… he broke in here, didn't he? He pushed the heavy gate open for me, letting me through first. Once outside- finally- he turned to face me, locking eyes with mine. This suddenness alarmed me, and my whole body stiffened up. But he, on the other hand… He looked to be studying me, memorizing me… for some reason. His thin, expressionless lips parted a sliver.

"U-uh, w-well thank you for helping me out there," it too effort to grin; cloak man didn't mirror my face. "How long are you in Italy for?" Wow! Such a direct and inappropriate question. My hand lifted up to my chest a bit afraid. "Um, I-I leave tomorrow," I don't know why I answered honestly. Seems kind of stupid looking back. To my utter shock, he nodded understandably. "Good, the sooner you get back, the better."

"E-Excuse me?!" I asked completely affronted. Why kind of comment was that? To my surprise again, he didn't seem fazed by my reaction literally at all. His face and eyes didn't move an inch. "You don't know me, do you?" "N-no? Should I?" "My name's Giordano. Do not worry, Miss Steele; I will watch over you whenever you're in Florence." "How… how do you know my name?!" My mouth dropped to the floor. Who….. Who was this man? A stalker or something? I was right to think he's dangerous- like super dangerous. Still, he didn't move an inch; just kept his stare glued firmly onto me.

"You have nothing to worry about from me, Anastasia; you or your father. I have refused Lincoln's offer." Lincoln? Who the hell is Lincoln? I don't know any Lincolns. My eyes widened as he quite unexpectedly took a step towards me. His hand reached out for mine; I felt him put something in my palm- what felt like an envelope. "Do not open this until you are home safe; understand?" "I…" I couldn't finish my sentence. What the hell is going on? Just who is this guy? And how does he know who I am? I don't understand….. Then he leaned back to look me right in the face; the slightest hint of a smile blossomed in the far corner of his lips. "Yes, I knew from the moment I saw you- you are no target of mine." "T-target? Target for what?" What does he mean by "target"? Like a drug target or something?

You can't imagine how wide my eyes grew when he brought his head closer to mine. While my eyes were gigantic, his were shut. "Let's never meet again," he said before he…. he kissed my forehead! This creep had the audacity to kiss my forehead! But that wasn't the end of it. Then resting our foreheads together, he said to me:

"I almost killed Jack when he asked me."


	42. My Barefeet and His

"Anastasia!" Christian found me sobbing wet in the pouring rain. He gawked at me with horror. Before he arrived, I was observing the several small cuts on my feet; yeah, not my brightest idea. I did my best to keep the envelope Giordano dry in my pocket; though I'm not sure how well that was working out. My head shot up when the rain suddenly stopped falling on me, and I found Christian standing there holding an umbrella over me. Boy, he did not look pleased- not at all.

"Christian?" "What are you doing?" His eyes gave me a once over. That's when he saw my sandal-less, bloody feet. I pursed my lips together, also glancing down embarrassed. "It's nothing!" I tried to brush it off- nope! "Why are you barefoot? Where are your shoes?" His voice was as stern and upset as you can imagine. "Uh, well… I accidently wrecked my sandals at the cathedral." His mouth opened in the most unimpressed and concerned manner. "So you've been like this the whole time?" "W-well, yes?" "Seriously?" He raised his voice slightly. That's when our eyes met and I grinned; I'd be home soon anyways, no reason to get upset. Christian didn't see it that way however….

"Dammit!" As he swore under his breath, I observed him unpredictably kick off his fancy shoes. My eyes grew in shock and astonishment. "Put these on," he then bent down to turn them towards me. I saw his feet- which had black socks on- already starting to get drenched. Christian… I didn't want him to go shoeless now because of me. "It's fine, Christian…." "Right now!" Ok then! I carefully slipped my feet into them; they were much too big for me but neither of us cared about that at the moment. Then he removed his coat and placed it over my head; I was already in love with the way it smelled. Our hands reached for each other's naturally this time. "Come on," with that, we run down the street together under his umbrella.

As I double-checked to make sure no nuns were around, Christian snuck into my room. He locked the door and went to get a fluffy pink blanket while I went to get changed. I'd never worn pajamas in front of a man who wasn't my father before, but I think it was fine; I had very conservative pjs. He was already waiting for me when I emerged from the bathroom decked in my jimjams. He stood beside the bed with his arms planted firmly on his hips. I knew I was in for it now.

"Have a seat," he motioned for the bed. I did as I was told without a word. Christian took hold of my arm half way to the bed, gently guiding me down; my feet were really starting to hurt right now. Once I was securely down, he let out a sigh and went to get this mini first-aid kit. This warm, fuzzy feeling began to fill me as he knelt down on one knee and turned his attention to my sore feet. Without a word, his hand grabbed one, bringing it onto his lap. He pulled out an antiseptic and hesitated for a moment.

"This is going to sting, but please hold still." Wait, what? Sting? I never signed on for that. Too late; he was already applying it. I let out a little gasp in pain. Oh great- more stinging, just what I needed. He paused immediately, looking up at my face. "It needs to be cleaned, Anastasia. Just hold on a little longer," more reapplication. I bit down on my lip and curled my fingers. Next came the bandaid, and finally…. I tried to pull back my foot when he got out the gouge wrap. "I'm fine. I don't need that." Of course he carefully yanked my foot right back to where it was. "No, not yet."

I watched him the entire time he wrapped my foot. He was so attentive, so caring….. so gentle. Christian noticed me staring before he was done, pausing for a minute to peak up at me. I smiled… I smiled so warmly. Neither of us said anything, just merely, painlessly admired the other. In that moment right there…. that… that was a happiness I'd never experienced before. I didn't know someone could make me feel like this; I didn't know such feelings existed. You hear about them in song lyrics, but you never think it could happen to you. And yet, here I was, with it happening to me… me and him.

Christian's eyes slowly closed as his brought his face up towards mine. It took me a second to realize that he was about to kiss me. And for the briefest of moments, I almost let him…. It took all my willpower to pull back, placing my hand on his shoulder. His eyes opened, revealing some confusion. I sadly grinned down at him, rubbing my thumb on his shirt.

"We can't." "Why not?" "Please don't get the wrong idea; I do like you, Christian- a lot. But…" "But what?" "It's…. it's impossible." "You still haven't said why, Anastasia." "Because…."

Because the next man to kiss me will be head of the Dollars.


	43. The Letter

["Honestly, I don't know why you're looking for me so hard. You know you only found me because I let you, right?" "I'll ask the questions around here! Why did you break into Ana's apartment?!" I glared sharply, hatefully at the repulsive informant. He seemed much too calm and uncaring of the severity of the situation; his stupid hands were buried in his stupid pockets. He knew I was here to arrest him, and he didn't look remotely distressed by this.

"Really now, you're just wasting time. Shouldn't you focus your hype-attention on what's her name? Anastasia? Shouldn't you be with her instead of sniffing me out?" "Answer the question!" I shouted, quickly losing my questions. He eyed me casually- yet with the tiniest bit of sharpness- before relaxing his shoulders even more.

"You have no clue who she is, do you?" This took me aback slightly. "Of course I know her!" She's my longest friend now; someone who is so dear, precious to me… The image of Ana from behind at an angle popped in and out of my head. I know her… I know. My jaw clenched and my heart dropped at Black's soft, sinister chuckle. "Then you know that she's a princess of an extensive, powerful, and wealthy mob family?"

"What?"]

I woke up the next morning to not just another red rose on my pillow but one with a card tied to it; it was attached in a bow with a black ribbon. It read: 'Remember to wait until you are home.' What the heck?! Who brought this? It clearly wasn't a nun, or a very weird nun if it was. And what did it mean "wait until I was home"? Wait for what? I don't remember ever….. That's when my eyes moved to my still damp coat from last night; the letter was still in my pocket. That man, Giordano… It couldn't have been from him, could it? No! No way, he doesn't know me; we've never met before….. but then… he did know my name, and that I didn't live here; well maybe my accent gave that away but still. My gaze returned down to the rose in my hand.

He was… the first man outside my family to ever kiss me, even if it was on the forehead. Ew! The thought almost made me chuck the rose at the wall. Kisses in the underworld aren't romantic; they're supposed to be signs of loyalty and fidelity. He'd only kiss me if he knew that and was pledging his allegiance to me. But that's definitely not the case with him; he was just some creep who happened to find me in the cathedral yesterday…. who also happened to wear a cloak. Still… I wonder what could possibly be in the envelope he gave me. My thumb ran over the black ribbon.

I sure hope I'm right and he's not part of the underworld… and didn't leave the rose. Black ribbons were bad signs down there; they were symbolic of black-list assassins. I'd never met one… I think- I hope. I'd know if I had, right? I'm sure the color is just a coincidence…. _"I knew from the moment I saw you- you are no target of mine."_ Purely a coincidence.

Christian came to pick me up at the convent that morning. We went to the airport together; his flight was first. He originally wanted us to fly back together, and while I wanted that too I knew Daddy would have a fit if he found out. He booked an earlier ticket and I kept my original one. Before Christian headed to security, he pulled out a little, pretty box. I watched with wide eyes as he pulled out this lovely, little white gold bracelet. Smiling warmly, he pulled up my wrist and put it on right above Paul's police bracelet. "I'm fine with you wearing his bracelet, so long as you wear my colors too."

With a wide, elated grin, I profusely thanked him. It was just a simple white bracelet with a diamond here and there; nothing too fancy- certainly nothing no one would notice on me. We stared at each other smiling for a moment. Then, right there in the middle of the Florence airport we shared our first hug- just a hug. Oh god… I can't even begin to think of the right words to describe how it felt to be in his arms. I could have stayed there forever; who needs food or water? All I need his strong arms around me- I'd never ask for anything more if I had that. And I think Christian felt the same; his embrace gradually tightened around me as we held one another. Eventually we had to pull apart- that being one of the hardest things I'd ever done. He kissed my hand before heading to security. We waved until the other was out of sight. When he was gone, I brought the hand he kissed to my chest, wrapping my other hand around it tenderly. I didn't know men like him existed…. No, he was no man- I'm pretty sure he was an angel…. My eyes began to lower sadly. And angels don't marry mob princesses.

I flew home alone. To my surprise- border-line shock- there was no one at the airport to greet me or pick me up. This was unheard of; I'd never been left by myself like this before when getting off a plane. I chalked it up to an emergency of some sort; that was the only thing I could think of. So I grabbed a train home, rolling my suitcase down the street to the manor.

The manor was super quiet. I opened the front door to find no one immediately around inside. "Hello?! I'm home! Daddy?! Jerome?!" Nothing. Now I was beyond confused; Daddy didn't come meet me at the airport and he wasn't at home either. I didn't see anyone up the staircase or in the main part of the hall either. A being only appeared when I turned the corner to the hallway with my bedroom on it. I blinked in surprise to see a familiar-looking guy walking my way from the other direction. I'd seen him somewhere before but couldn't quite put my finger on it. He spotted me, flinched in surprise, then flashed a brilliant smile in my direction.

"Hey, baby. Have a nice flight?" Baby? Who the hell was he?! He looked about my age or so. I stiffened up a tad when he took a step towards me. "W-who are you?" "Hmmmmm? Oh right! Dad hasn't officially introduced us yet. I'm Jason, Ritchy's son." "Jason?" Oh right, Jason! The jerk that texted me before I went to Florence. "You know it. How was Italy, babe?" Ugh, and I was already exhausted with him.

"Uh, f-fine? Where is everybody? Do you know where Daddy or Jerome are?" "Oh, they're off dealing with something in the Five-Way Catacomb. Some asshat named James called earlier? I don't know." Oh, well I guess that makes sense; Daddy wouldn't want me to worry about that. Explains why he hasn't called me. Still, it didn't explain why the manor was totally empty; Daddy would at least send someone to fetch me, even Mr. Bodyguard. Oh yeah, Mr. Bodyguard! And where's he?

"Um, where's everybody else?" "They're going to wipe out those Yellow Scarves once and for all. This whole thing with Black has gotten out of control and the Dollars have decided to finish it- with Steele's permission, course," Jason shrugged; he didn't really seem to care about any of it. I gawked at him for a moment until I decided to drop it. So Daddy's out dealing with someone named James and the Dollars are at war with the Yellow Scarves- time for me to check out. Of course, Jason had to be a creep and grinned down at me cockily.

"Looks like we have some time now. Wanna hang out, girl?" "I just got off a cross-Atlantic flight and need to do laundry and unpack. Could we… do something later?" Like never? Never would be nice. He chuckled lightly. "Sure thing, beautiful. Just give a call when you're ready; I'll be listening." Oh… oh my god. Grabbing the metaphorical bull by the horns, I took the opportunity to get the heck outta there. I didn't stop walking until I was safely in my room. I shut the door- which unfortunately didn't have a lock- dropped my suitcase and went to throw myself back onto my bed. While facing the ceiling, I suddenly remembered the envelope in coat pocket; it was dry now. Curiosity began to fill me as I reached for it; the envelope itself was unmarked.

Inside was a folded white paper. I pulled it out, opening it up to read- my eyes steadily grew as I did. My hand literally started to tremble, shaking the handwritten letter. It read:

_Anastasis _

_You don't have much time, so I'll be brief. Eric Lincoln tried to hire me for a hit; he sent one Jack Hyde to Florence to meet me (Hyde left before you returned). Lincoln wants to kill your dad and abduct you. Originally Hyde was going to off Steele but things got complicated when you saw him. A Yellow Scarf saw Hyde leave the Dollar manor and informed his boss. The Yellow Scarves hired Black to kill Hyde before he could tell Lincoln about you. He was also supposed to warn you about Hyde; I don't know if you know about Lincoln yet. _

_I can't tell you how I know all this- it's a trade secret. But I wanted you to know. I'm writing this on your first night here in Florence, and while I doubt I'll be able to give it to you in person, I will reach out to you in one way or another. _

The paper fell from my hand, landing on the floor right beside my bed. I was sitting up now, staring deeply off into nowhere with the widest of eyes. Save me….? The Yellow Scarves were trying to keep me from being abducted? And someone tried to put a hit out on Daddy? Someone wanted to kill Daddy? Someone named Eric Lincoln?

Without a word, I stumbled off my bed dashing to the door. It burst open and I ran out, completely unaware to the surroundings around me. In that instance, I couldn't feel my body; all breathes fell numb to me. All my thoughts were on one thing- one thing alone. Save as many Yellow Scarves as possible and make sure Daddy knew about the potential hit on his life.

I spun around the corner, accidently running into Jason. My body took on a life of its own, halting itself right before I smacked into him. He looked down at me purely perplexed and alarmed. "A-Ana?" "W-where… Where are they fighting the Yellow Scarves? Where are the Dollars and Yellow Scarves?!" I could hear my own voice frantically raising on its own accord. This seemed to surprise him slightly. "Uh, in the old cement warehouse. Why?" I didn't reply, instead racing as fast I could down to the front door. "Baby? Ana? Ana!" No; no. I had to get there… I had to get there in time.

I had to stop the Dollars from sheading any blood on my account.


	44. Where is She?

I don't think my feet had run faster in my life. Faster- must go faster! They only came to a momentary pause when my burner phone vibrated in my pocket. It was yanked out so fast. "Daddy?!" I hadn't bothered to check the number. "Anastasia?" A wave of terror washed through me at the sound of Christian's voice. I immediately hung up without hesitation. The battery was tossed onto the ground and I bit the phone chip. Then I proceeded to throw the phone down and smash it with my foot. No… Just No. I won't let him get involved in this; not him, not Christian. He was too special, too precious… I couldn't let anything bad happen to him on my account. Confidence that he couldn't trace the call now, I continued running as hastily as humanly possible to the old warehouse.

["Hey, Paul. You weren't gone long! Did you find Black?" Doyle greeted me as I burst through the office door. "I want all files on Ray and Anastasia Steele now!" I didn't address him; I had to find out if what that slimeball was true- if it could be true. Doyle blinked puzzled by this out-of-the-blue request. "Why?" "Just get them for me!" I shot back, visibly upset. He started typing on the computer and the office phone rang.

"Detective Clayton," my tone was clearly one of annoyance. "Paul?" Oh great; what does he want? I don't have time to deal with rich pricks right now. "What?" My eyes rolled dramatically. "Has Anastasia called you?" My heart dropped at her name. Ana? I thought she was in Florence- safe and not alone in Florence. "Why? What's wrong?" My voice was now trying to stifle the panic currently raising inside of me. "I just called her and she hung up on me. She sounded panicked," he seemed alarmed now too. That made two of us.

"I haven't heard from her all weekend; her phone's been shut off. You told me she was in Florence." "She was; I just saw her this morning." "You what?" Fantastic; now my anger-level was lifting too. Don't tell me… Grey wouldn't actually fly halfway across the world like that, would he? But then again, he's rich; rich blokes were known for doing crazy shit. We'd talk about what he meant more later. All my thoughts were on Ana currently.

"So she hasn't contacted you then?" "Where is she? Did she come back already?" "Yes, but I think something's happened. I tried to track the call from her phone and it couldn't be located. You can't reach her either?" He definitely sounded more than a little worried right now. And my own nerves were beginning to boil over too. "Ana's in some sort of trouble?" _"Then you know she's a princess of an extensive, powerful, and wealthy mob family?"_ Those words rang on repeat in my head. "Yes, I think so," he admitted in a truly terrified tone. Holy shit….. holy shit! Ana's in trouble! She's in danger!

My mind went into overdrive. I straightened up, catching the eye of Doyle who gazed over at me confused. "Where is she? Where is she, dammit!" "I don't know; there's no way for me to locate her." "Have you tried calling Steele?" That was desperation on my part. "I did; he's not answering either. Do you know where he lives?" "No, Ana never told me the address…."

That's when my eyes glimpsed down at my computer with a black screen. The wheels began to turn….. Wait, I gave Ana a bracelet… I put it in her bag the night before she left for Florence. "A bracelet….." My lips uttered unthinkingly. "Huh?" "A bracelet… a black police bracelet; I gave one to Ana before she left." "Oh, I know what one you're talking about. She was wearing it in Italy." "So you did go see her in Florence?!" My eyes grew as my blood started to boil. No, I'd deal with that later- there were more important things to attend to now. Much, much more important.

"She was wearing it, you say?" I had to regain my composure readily. "Uh huh." Perfect! Like a shot, I flew down to my computer. I typed in Anastasia's name and the bracelet number assigned to hers. Within a minute a map with a blinking little green dot appeared on the screen. "Bingo!" I said more to myself than Grey. "What? What is it?" He asked, still frantic. "I found her! The bracelet has a tracer." "Where is she?!" "Looks like… she's in some old abandoned warehouse," I studied the map carefully. "A warehouse?" Grey repeated in a confused tone. I understood his confusion, though I think I knew more than him at this point. "That's right." "Why would she go there?" "Don't know. She might have been brought there forcibly."

That sentence set both of us off. I was already reaching for my police car keys. "What's the address?" Grey wasn't asking; he was demanding. "Stay out of this, Grey. Let us handle it," and by "us", I meant "me". "Give me the address, Clayton," you could hear his teeth grinding through the phone. "You have no business there. Leave this to us," my voice was a bit firmer this time. I swore I could feel his rage radiating through my ear piece. "This is my business. Now give me the damn address." "No; you'll only get in the way." "Don't take this the wrong way, Clayton, but fuck you." My eyes started to grow as I was actually kind of impressed by the balls on this guy; he knew what he wanted and wasn't afraid to demand it.

"I'll never ask you for anything else, but please- for the love of god, tell me where she is."]


	45. The Birth of Anastasia Steele

There can be no rebirth without a dark night of the soul, a total annihilation of all that you believed in and thought you were.

_Hazart Inayat Khan_

I watched in horror as Dollars and Yellow Scarves tore each other apart. With large eyes, my mouth dropped open. "Stop…"

Not loud enough.

"Stop."

Still not loud enough…

One Dollar slugged a man across the face; his blood splattered on the floor. Seeing the color of his blood changed something inside me- it made me change.

"STOP!"

I'd never screamed louder in all my life, and I certainly got the attention of everyone in the warehouse. All eyes were suddenly on me, jaws hanging open in shock and fists frozen mid-punch. I stood there shaking, with my hands rolled into tight, sweaty fists. "This ends now!" I gave my very first command in my life. By now Christian and Paul were standing far behind me where they could witness the scene, but I didn't notice. My full attention was on separating my Dollars from the innocent Yellow Scarves.

"Princess!" Switchblade gasped. "Where are you….?" Dread blinked at me in awe. "No more! No more fighting with the Yellow Scarves! All of that is done!" I couldn't believe the authority in my voice; I'd never spoken like this before to anyone. Everyone- including the detective and CEO- were utterly speechless and dumbfounded. They looked at each other before gazing back at me totally confused.

"W-why would you…..? They sent an informant after you, princess." "Yeah, these guys aren't our allies. Anyone who screws with our princess screws with all the Dollars." "Yeah," the remaining Dollars agreed to this sentiment. I was unwavering though. "They're not trying to hurt me! They're trying to save me!" I shouted, feeling my hands tremble more and more. "Huh?!" My Dollars blinked bewildered. Even a number of Yellow Scarves seemed confused; I guess not all of them were in on it. But, to my surprise, an older man who was previously sitting on a chair at the opposite end of the factory stood up. He started clapping his hands and all eyes shot back to him. Those in his way stepped out of it, clearing a path in between me and him. I didn't know his name exactly- Jacobson maybe- but I knew he was one of the senior Yellow Scarves and quite powerful. Not powerful like Daddy but still substantial. Our eyes met and he smiled my way.

"You figured it out then? Did Black tell you?" This older man spoke to me kindly. I blinked half-surprised, half-puzzled. He… He must be the one who hired Black in the first place. He's the one who wanted to save my life…. My hand rose up to my chest in a submissive gesture; force of habit around strong, older men. "Well, I'm glad to see you're alright, Miss Steele. Would have been a tragedy if anything happened to you, my dear," he chuckled softly to himself. This definitely confused the majority of his underlings.

"What are you talking about, boss?" "Yeah, that's Steele's girl; she's a Dollar." "I thought you wanted to wipe out the Dollars from the neighbourhood." "Why would you protect her? She's one of them." The Yellow Scarf boss was bombarded with beyond perplexed queries. My men were also entirely confused but they didn't move or say anything; they just stayed still in a state of shock. The boss merely shut his eyes in a calm manner.

"I don't owe anyone an explanation. But did you mean what you just said, Miss Steele? Are you really ending this centuries-old war with the Yellow Scarves?" All eyes were on me now. "Yes- yes, I am," I didn't even have to think about it. We have no business fighting with anyone who tried to save me from someone much, much worse. No, we're done; this is over, and I don't care what it will cost to the Dollars or me. No more blood will be split between our gangs; not while I'm here.

Some men gasped again, others scratched their heads. While all the Yellow Scarves looked dumbstruck, their boss reopened his eyes and nodded softly to himself. "Can she do that?" One Yellow Scarf asked him while pointing to me. "Princess?" Switchblade lowered his eyes onto me also. I gave my men a reassuring, confident expression along with a small smile; I wanted to say that "it would be alright". "And what will you offer the Yellow Scarves as tribute for ending the war?" The boss then asked me.

This made my men really mad; their glares shot back onto him viciously. "What tribute?!" "Nothing!" "You're lucky she's calling off the war!" "You should be paying us!" "All the south territory," I announced over everyone. Once again, silence and all stared returned to me. I locked eyes with the Yellow Scarves boss; mine firm, sincere, and honest. "Everything beyond the westside; it's yours." "Princess!" "How can you do that?! We have territory down there!" "Not anymore; it belongs to the Yellow Scarves now. We'll call that compensation and thank you… for trying to save me," my eyes softened a bit.

While my men proceeded to have a fit, the Yellow Scarves boss just nodded; nodded and smiled. "We'll take it. Thank you, Miss Steele. I must admit, you surprised me. And here I thought your husband would take over the Dollars, but who knows? You might be a good queen, after all." This made my eyes widen in awe and disgust simultaneously. A good queen… No one's ever referred to me like that before; it never even crossed my own mind that I might be a good head of a gang empire. It just seemed so against my nature, but still possible…. But then I remembered the sensation of wanting to escape, of longing to have nothing to do with gang life. To be a normal girl who lives a normal life….. The desire for freedom, for the ability to make choices for myself…. That came flooding back to me in that moment too. Even if I would make a good queen one day, that doesn't mean I want to rule. It was in that moment, after realizing that I could actually succeed at the job, I finally and truly grasped…..

I was born to be queen, and I would give anything not to rule.

My men had an array of mixed feelings. Some were salty about the loss of territory; some were super proud of me and my first display of real power; and some didn't know what to think. The same was true for the Yellow Scarves, who also shared with the mixed feelings. Despite winning in this scenario and actually gaining in the end, a few were still angry- quite angry. And it all revolved around that age-old issue; the one thing I could never really escape from no matter how hard I tried.

"Like hell I'm taking orders from a woman. That's not your territory to give, you bitch!" A Yellow Scarf yelled this, not bothering to hide the venom in his tone. No, it wasn't enough that they won; it wasn't enough that they finally got the longed territory they coveted. It was given to them by a woman; the war was declared over by a woman. That trumped and tainted all sense of victory or celebration. The underworld is a misogynist place, one which would struggle deeply to accept me even if I wanted to be queen.

"I'll kill you!" What none of us were expecting was for this creep to suddenly pull out a knife from his jacket; much like the one I got stabbed with eight years ago. While he charged from me at behind, everything all of a sudden went ballistic. "Anastasia!" Both Christian and Paul were sprinting at full speed towards us. I spun around to see the man with the knife in his hand, along with the other two. Paul and Christian? How long have they been here? When did they arrive?! But I didn't have long to ponder about that.

Within the blink of an eye, Christian practically body smashed into me. His arms wrapped around me as he turned us so to get in between me and the knife. Paul arrived seconds later, but not before the knife pierced something. Christian's eyes widened as his mouth shot open, though no sound came out. I didn't realize what happened right away, still clinging to him in shock. Paul meanwhile, tackled the freak down to the floor; he sat on top of him while beating him senseless. "You little…! If you ever even so much as look at Ana, I'll…!" A series of more punches.

While Christian didn't move or say anything for a long minute, my men came to peel us apart. "Princess!" "Princess, are you ok?!" Their attention was entirely on me. Switchblade moved me in such a way as to scan for injury. All the time, Christian stood there, simply staring at me. His face had a weird, almost confusingly pained expression on it. I knew something must have happened when he gave this little struggling cough. "Christian?" He looked at me…. Looking me straight in the eye, he suddenly fell to his knees. He didn't take his pained stare off me until he fell back on the ground unconscious.


	46. Theodore Grey

"_Daddy! Daddy, it's time to wake up!" _

_My eyes softly opened; I once again found myself laying in the endless green valley. I brought my hand up to my eyes, giving them a soft rub. "W-where…. where am I?" _"You're in heaven."_ That voice- I know that voice….. My eyes fluttered opened again to see my faceless angel smiling down at me with the softest of eyes._

"_Did I die?" I asked her without really caring right away._ "Only if you want to. The choice is up to you, my husband," _she gently ran her slender, perfect hand over my hair. "I see…. and what will happen if I stay?" My eyes lowered at the bright blue sky high above us. When she didn't reply, my eyes shut again. The next thing I remember, I was gently being nudged by something- what felt like a small hand. _

"_Daddy! Come on, get up Daddy!" I know that voice too…. I saw a small boy beside me; he wore a great big smile across his cute, pale lips. "Teddy…. Teddy," my hand reached out to stroke his cheek; he felt so warm and sweet…. "Let's go! I wanna play!" He gently tugged at my hand. "Alright," smiling brilliantly down at the child, I sat up. Then I looked around the world made of white clouds to see only us. I picked Teddy up into my arms. _

"_Where's Mommy?" I then asked him. Teddy gave me a bit of a confused face. "Mommy? Mommy's still on earth, Daddy." "Huh?" My smile began to fade. On earth? Does that mean… does that mean that Anastasia's still alive? My Anastasia? The Anastasia from my reality? "What's wrong, Daddy?" Little Teddy blinked up at me, still puzzled. "Uh, it's nothing. Daddy's just thinking about Mommy; that's all." "Don't worry. She'll be with us one day," Teddy tenderly patted my hand. So I was right, she is still alive….. _

"_Teddy, can you tell Daddy something?" "Uh huh," his little head nodded obediently. "Have you… have you been here all this time… by yourself?" Teddy watched me perplexed for a moment before nodding. "I came to heaven eight years ago," he told me; this child was not eight- he was like four years old at most. Wait, eight years… Why eight years ago if he's clearly not eight years old? My eyes began to grow in understanding. Now I remember… Anastasia gave up Teddy for me…. when she got stabbed. Teddy was never born in our universe; he exists only in heaven. That's how I was able to see him before; he's still our son but… but he won't be joining us on earth because…. because…. _

"Because I can't get pregnant."

_Teddy blinked in surprise as tears weld up in my eyes. "Daddy? Why are you crying?" "She won't join us until she dies… Anastasia," I whispered to myself. Anastasia…. Anastasia… If I stayed here with Teddy now, I'd be leaving her alone back on earth. I wouldn't see her again until… More tears. Anastasia, no…. Anastasia, I can't leave you like this; I can't wait that long. I can't be apart from my wife, my angel….. not like this. She's my wife….. She's my wife._

_I flinched at the sensation of Teddy taking hold of my hand. My eyes shot over to this beautiful soul in my arms; he was holding my hand so tightly, so tenderly. "Daddy?" "Sorry, Daddy was still thinking…. uh, Daddy was thinking….." I was thinking how much I want her near me, beside me- forever. How I'm not ready to part with her. But… Guilt started to swell up in my chest as I stared down at this little boy, my son- the child of Anastasia and me. _

_What about him? Will he feel like I'm abandoning him if I go back? I don't want to hurt him either… "Theodore?" "Yes?" "Would you…? Mommy's alone on earth; she's alone without Daddy." Teddy's eyes scrolled out into nowhere thoughtfully for a minute; he was considering the situation. "Mommy's alone? Is Mommy lonely?" "I'm afraid she might be," I answered my son honestly. He gazed back up at me with all the tenderness and kindness only a child could achieve. _

"_I think… I think you should go back to Mommy. I don't want her to be lonely….. and I don't want you to be sad, Daddy." "Oh, Daddy's not sad, Teddy! Daddy just wants us all to be together- here together," I gently patted his head. The child's eyes shown bright up at me. The next few seconds were a few of the best in all my existence. His stare preciously lowered onto mine; his pale lips parting a sliver. "Daddy…. I love you." My eyes grew in utter amazement. Just like his mother, Teddy was willing to give so much. I knew what he meant; he told me to go to her- to go to my eternal wife. He'd be waiting for us; both of us on that faithful day. And in the meantime…. "Daddy loves you too, Teddy- very much."_

_And with that, I took one last look at my son before I was transported back. I wouldn't see him again for another fifty years. _


	47. Mutual Love

"Are you sure you're alright, Anastasia?" "Me? Who cares about me? You're the one who was unconscious for two hours." "I care," Christian smiled warmly over at me. He was lying in a hospital bed with me glued to his side. It was the strangest thing. Here I was in the hospital after that whole episode with the Yellow Scarves and Christian getting stabbed, and still no word from my father or Jerome. It was thankfully just the two of us in that room together; I felt more than a little confident to hold his hand in both of mine. The first thing he asked about when he came to was about me; where I was and if I was alright. This made me break down and I cried at his bedside for I don't know how long. It was morning by now and the nurse came in every hour or so to check on him. The wound was deep but not life-threatening, thank goodness. They still gave him pain-killers, which he reluctantly took. I stayed there, sitting beside his bed and continuously holding his hand, which I think he liked; his smile told me so.

At about ten in the morning, Christian was awake and we were lightly talking; the pills were making him drowsy. Jason was on his way and Paul took the man who stabbed Christian off to the police station; he'd swing by later. Right on cue, the nurse opened the door and shut it behind her. She addressed Christian first. "How are you feeling, Mr. Grey?" "Still a bit sore, but better," he said in a very hushed tone. I was a bit surprised when the nurse nodded and then turned to face me. "And you, Miss Steele. How are you?" "Oh, I'm fine! Nothing happened to me." "Nonetheless, we need to run through some things," my eyes grew as she pulled out a fresh clipboard and pen. She began scribbling something.

"Any bleeding or bruises that you're aware of?" "No?" Why was she asking me this? I already told her nothing happened to me. Was this really necessary? "Any lacerations or concussions?" "No?" Once again, not necessary; she should be focusing on Christian- not me. She wrote down more and scanned over the sheet. "Any history of family illness or cancer?" "Uh, both my grandparents had skin cancer?" Though I don't see why she needed to know that. "Any previous illnesses or injuries that you have been hospitalized for?" My mouth shot open but hesitated… Technically yes but I wasn't sure if I wanted to say that in front of Christian. Only my father knew I got stabbed. To my utter shock and horror, when I failed to respond, Christian sat up slightly in his bed.

"Yes, she was stabbed eight years ago," he told the nurse. I blinked back at him with the largest of eyes; my heart suddenly stopped and rapidly fluttered at once. How did he…? How could he possibly know that? My jaw hung wide open. The nurse looked confused before writing this down on the sheet. I didn't hear what else she asked or when she finally left; all of my attention was locked onto Christian. When we were finally alone in the room, my bottom lip started to tremble as Christian gazed at me concerned.

"Anastasia…" "How…? How did you know…?" I couldn't formulate a coherent full sentence. Christian's eyes fixed as his lips parted a little. "Anastasia, I was there; it was me. I was the one you saved that day." I suddenly leaped backwards off my chair somehow. It clanged down onto the floor while I stood there, mouth agape. I was already on the verge of tears- a sea of tears. And I merely stared at him, desperate for answers but unable to ask for them. I couldn't even breathe in that moment.

"I'm sorry; I was going to tell you. I wanted to wait until we were back from Florence," Christian said in a pleading tone. A single tear rolled down my cheek. "How long….?" "Huh?" "How long have you known…..?" I managed to squeak out. His eyes grew then contrasted again. "During your first week of your internship. The hospital sent my lawyers your file for the court date; I requested a copy." "No… no…" I was having more than a little trouble believing it. That man I saved was invisible and far away from me; I didn't know him. I was convinced I'd never see him again. This is not possible… This cannot be possible…

"Anastasia? Are you alright?" "You can't… you can't be him… That was eight years ago…." More tears; lots more tears. Christian's eyes lowered onto me again; much gentler this time. "Can I see?" That was all he asked, but I knew what he meant. My eyes drifted off into nowhere for a second before I thoughtlessly pulled up the bottom of my shirt. Christian would be the only other one to see the scar other than the doctors and Daddy. He saw it and his eyes got huge; and not in a good way. More like he was looking at something horrifying. The long, albeit faded scar ran right up along the middle of my stomach area; I didn't like to look at it much. But Christian stared for a good minute or so, like he was seeing reality for the first time- truly comprehending what occurred eight years ago.

"Oh, Anastasia…." His own stare growing watery, it moved back up to my face. He looked so sorry, so pained by the sight. I didn't know what to say, how I could make him feel better. My head was in a very weird place at the moment. "You saved me… you really saved me that day…" Christian said more to himself than me; he was still grappling with the situation. I lowered my shirt and turned to peer off to the side, unable to watch him anymore. "You… just got stabbed instead of me, Christian," I uttered, still unable to look his way. "No… No, Anastasia; nothing will ever be worth your sacrifice," he sounded a tad panicked now, as if he didn't want me to think us even. But my gaze narrowed off into the distance. Yes, we're even now; I didn't ask for you to save me, just like how you didn't ask me. You got in between the blade and me without hesitation… Just how I did that day for you.

"Is that why….?" My hand rolled into fists. "What?" "Is that why you were so nice to me? Why you came to Florence? Because I got stabbed instead of you years ago?" Christian didn't answer right away, electing instead to gawk at me in disbelief. "No, of course not. I would have done that regardless." "Why? Why…..?" Lots and lots of tears. The corners of his mouth tightened. "Because…. I love you, Anastasia Steele. I've always loved you; there is no other. It's always been you- always."

My eyes enlarged as the tears streamed down my face. I couldn't think… I couldn't breathe. Literally no thoughts went through my mind in that moment. Instead everything I felt, everything I was was a whirlwind of contradictions. Pure joy and utter sorrow, ice cold and burning hot, eternity and a fleeting second, falling and floating…. My body physically couldn't handle it. So, I simply let my brain go into autopilot and I became an automaton. I wiped the remaining tears from my eyes and started to head towards the door. Christian bolted up in alarm.

"Anastasia?!" "I'm going to call my father," I said without looking back as I opened the door. "Anastasia…." He sounded beyond desperate. I stayed there motionless for a second before peaking at him from over I shoulder. I have no memory of smiling or what I said next, but I know it happened; I can feel it inside of me, a part of me- my essence.

"I love you too, Christian…. so much."


	48. Real Danger

Daddy's still not answering his phone; neither is Jerome. I tried both their cells from a payphone at the hospital- nothing. Now I knew something was wrong; I hadn't heard a word from either of them since I got back. The same was true of Mr. Bodyguard….. Mr. Bodyguard. I put in some more money and dialed his number- I forgot when I learned that but somehow I did. It rang a few times before he gratefully answered. "Yeah?" He sounded as gruff as ever. But I didn't care; I was just so happy he picked up. "Mr. Bodyguard?!" The relief couldn't be contained in my voice. "You?" He was obviously surprised to hear from me; I wasn't sure if it was in a good way or not. "Mr. Bodyguard! I…."

Before I could finish my sentence, a cold, lanky hand rested on my shoulder. My eyes grew gigantic as I found myself spinning around to see a familiar face, man standing close behind me. It was… Wait, I knew this man; I'd seen him somewhere before. Somewhere… Oh no, my mouth begun to drop open. Jack! Jack Hyde- the man I saw in the manor that night! The man the Yellow Scarves hired Black to kill and warn me about. He was here! Here in the hospital with me… me and Christian.

His grip tightened on me. "Hello, princess." "Hey, what going on? Where are you right now?" Mr. Bodyguard sounded increasingly concerned. "J-Jack!" I gasped a little too loudly in the hospital lobby. "Enjoy your calm before the storm?" He leaned in close to my ear, though I made sure to hold up the phone so Mr. Bodyguard could hear; it was kind of stupid that Jack didn't hang up first but good news for me. "If you want to see your father and his lacky again, you'll come quietly with me."

I had roughly five seconds to consider the situation. Jack knew he had me trapped, that I would go without a fight. But I still had Mr. Bodyguard on the line which I could use to my advantage. I'm sure Jack wouldn't let me say anything too obvious so I had to be smart; that's when my eyes rolled onto the police bracelet on my wrist- the one with an emergency call button… "Ok, I'm sure Detective Paul Clayton at the Westside police station will be too busy to notice I've come by yet." Bingo! Jack caught on right away, clicking the hanger down- but it was too late. I'm sure Mr. Bodyguard heard. Clearly annoyed, Jack escorted me out of the hospital's front entrance. To my surprise, he didn't hold onto me or anything; he didn't touch me again. I mean I was happy! But it was unusual; he didn't even say a word to me the rest of the car way. I waited until we came to a complete stop before pressing the help button discreetly on my wrist.

_I perked up at the sound of the door opening. "Anast-…..!" I was cut off at the sight of Elena entering the room; she had a bouquet in her hands. I'll admit was surprised and not all too happy to see her; the one I really wanted to come was still absent. "Hello, Christian," she greeted me, coming over to place the bouquet on my lap. "Thank you. Hello, Elena," I gave them a sniff before grinning friendly over to her. She seated herself in Anastasia's official chair beside my bed. Although she tried to seem calm, I could tell she was nervous for some reason. She actually sat on her hands to keep them from trembling._

"_How are you doing?" "Better, thank you." "That's good," her eyes moved downwards slowly, thoughtfully. "Did Jason tell you about it? He's supposed to be here any minute." "N-no…" She stuttered. No? If he didn't tell her, how could she…? My gaze widened as her met mine again._

"_Where's the Steele girl?" The Steele girl? I didn't like her tone just now. "You mean Anastasia? She's calling her dad. Why?" Surprisingly, Elena hesitated for a minute, like she was afraid to proceed the conversation. "You probably don't know…." "Know what?" My eyebrow rose up a bit. "She's not who you think she is. She's… her family's…." The words in her throat struggled to come out. Wait? What the hell is she talking about? No, she can't… It's impossible. Elena can't possibly know that Anastasia comes from a mob clan, which I only just found myself; not that it changed my feelings in the slightest. I hadn't actually thought about it at all until now…_

_Elena's pleading stare captured mine again, growing ever more concerned. "Christian, you know how I feel about you….." Whoa! That came out of left field. "Uh, I… have an idea," I grappled to answer myself. It's true that I knew she had some regard for me, but the feelings certainly weren't mutual. Wait, could she be jealous of Anastasia? No, she'd have to know about our fake relationship for that, and she has no idea. Still, I couldn't figure out why she would say this now of all times. "I'll probably lose my job for telling you this but…. I have to tell you, Christian." "Tell me what?" What the heck is she talking about? Why would she lose her job? That's when her already-poignant stare deeply sharpened._

"_Anastasia is in real danger."_


	49. Eric Lincoln

I'll never forget the first moment I saw him.

He was evil personified in human form. Immediately when he first looked at me, he could right through me; his eyes were like hooks, sinking deeper and deeper inside of me. He didn't look as I imagined he would. Much younger and actually quite handsome; his long, dark hair reached down to his shoulders. He was very slender and long, bony fingers. His crimson eyes scared me the most; they were sharp and dangerous. He was good-looking but that didn't detract from his aura of malice. I knew… from the moment he saw me, he wanted me. And not in a romantic or even lustful way. I understood right away that his intentions were possessive- that he was possessive. What terrified me the most was the hungry glint in his poisonous crimson eyes. I was not a human to him- I was an object; to own, to touch… to be kept for his amusement. To be looked at in such a way…. I'll never forget it, and it completely destroyed all confidence in me.

Jack actually disappeared very quickly; if I didn't know any better, I'd say he was afraid of this man. And I don't blame him; he was terrifying. He was just one of those people who when you meet them, you know….. you know they would do anything to harm you. Without a word, I was brought to this huge, throne-like room; there was no sign of Daddy or Jerome. Actually, there was no sign of anyone else around. I was left there in the darkness like fifteen feet away from where this man sat in a large cathedra. He didn't take his stare off me from the moment I arrived. Meanwhile, I stood there, utterly petrified to be in the presence of someone like him. I had no idea….. I had no idea.

After some time, he chuckled ever so softly and my blood curled in my veins. His laugh….. his sick, sick laugh. Seriously, I can't say enough how terrifying this guy was. Things only got worse once he started to talk.

"No, stay still; let me look at you for some time longer." Oh… oh my god. I don't think it was possible to be more afraid than I was now. "I'm glad you're here. I've been waiting for you, the youngest and sweetest mob princess in the world." I'm the youngest? He looked as if he wanted me to say something, and you don't disappoint a man like that. I used all my strength and willpower to force my trembling, tight lips open. "U-uh…. A-are….. are you….. E-Eric Lincoln?" My voice revealed how scared I was, if my body language didn't already. I felt like I was going to vomit when a frown crossed his lips. He eyes narrowed threateningly onto all of me.

"Those eyes….. those eyes of yours. Even from far away, I can see it." It? What the hell is he talking about? His hand rose up a bit to curl his long fingers. "Alike…." Then, before I had time to move or even breathe, he was over up in front of me in a flash. His hand reached over to almost caress my cheek as he swallowed me with his narrow stare. "You look like Carla."

My body went into survival mode; I was incapable of thinking or reacting in a cognisant way. The human body does very strange things when it's being attacked. I threw myself backward using my feet and desperately winced my eyes shut. "Don't touch me!" I didn't know I could scream that loud. It wasn't even in an angry or upset way either; it was more so begging, pleading. But he didn't react in the slightest. Instead, the most insidious grin began to grow across his pale face. "Prefect… you are so perfect." More steps stumbling backwards in a desperate attempt to get away from him on my part. "You will replace Carla, and let me love you."

"No! No, get away!" I tumbled onto the floor, landing with a hard thud. "Help! Somebody help me! Daddy! Daddy! Jerome! Daddy!" With tears now streaming down my face, I cried out using all my breath. No….. please god, no. It dawned on me that he intends to keep me here; to "love" me… and I'll never see my father again. "DADDY!"

"Daddy? Ah yes, Ray; I forgot you're also his daughter. Anastasia's the name he gave you…" I gave a little, horrified scream as his hand then stretched out for me on the ground. "Anastasia, you naughty little girl. Come here to me." "N-no! No, stay away! Don't touch me! Stay away!" My foot tried- and failed- to kick him away on its own accord. My vision was blurred by tears at this point. "No, my darling Carla- I've waited too long already. I will keep reaching, keep chasing…. Anywhere you wander, anywhere you go… I won't stop…..

Until I'm holding you; until I hear you sigh, here in my arms."


	50. To Gift a Kingdom

"Until I'm holding you…."

I tried to push myself away on the floor like a helpless baby; that's honestly what I felt like at the moment. His stare… oh, his possessive, greedy, dark stare. I had to shut my eyes again as his hand came down my way; he wanted to grab me, to touch me…

"I can make you submit to my will… I have the power to make you do anything I want. With that in mind, I can't help but wonder….. how long you'll resist me for? Hmmmm, Anastasia?" Oh, gross. Disgusting… The way he said my name just now; the way he savored it in his mouth. It made me want to never be called it by anyone ever again. I could never forget how it sounded when he said it; the way it slithered out of his thin lips. No… Don't call me that; don't ever call me that again. I'm not Anastasia; not anymore- not after this… after you.

"Carla…" Every cell, every fiber in my being began to physically ache as he started to wrap his strong arms around the upper half of my body. "Don't touch….!" But his eyes just then….. they were sincere… and sad. Still frightening and dangerous, but miserable. "Why am I not good enough, Carla? Why?" No! My eyes winced shut again. "What am I missing? What does Ray have that I lack? What should I do for you?" I never… I never experienced anything like that before- and most certainly not in a good way. Eric's eyes gently shut as well as he took a sniff of my hair from behind. "Why am I not enough? Even though, I…" No, stop talking; for the love of god, please stop talking. I'm begging you! "Even though I…" I don't want to know the depths of this lust.

"I love you so much, I could eat you whole, Carla."

Then, it started- it started with a bang. We both turned towards the door where a large series of raddles and thuds were coming from. Then the screaming… so much screaming- male screaming, like they were trying to escape from someone, or something. While my eyes grew even more in terror and the slightest confusion, Eric's lips curled into an annoyed frown. "Oh, what does he want?" He?! Who's "he"? How many men are there?!

More crashes and thuds. Eric didn't have enough time to get to me before the door was ripped off its hinges; I'm not joking, or exaggerating. It was physically torn off the wall. Only one person I knew could pull off that fleet…. My head spun right around to see a very familiar figure glowering in the door frame; he was huffing and had blood stained on his shirt. And I'd never been happier to see anyone in my life.

-"First my wife, and now my child!" One swift kick. Jerome and a bunch of other Dollars watched Ray continue to assault the man lying on the ground. "Where is he?! Tell me where that mother-fucker is!" James gave a little cough, some blood spattering from his lips. A vein visibly pulsed in Ray's head when the righthand lacky failed to answer.

"I've had enough. Jerome, get Odo; it's time to end this fucker," Ray shot at Jerome, who was witnessing the scene with his arms folded. "Sorry, sir; Odo took off." "What?!" The fire burned in Ray's glare. "He got a phone call and just ran out," Charles, Jason's father, explained. "A phone call?" This made Ray pause for a moment. Who would call Odo? He doesn't have any family and he never carries his personal phone.

"So what now, boss? What do we do with him?" Charles kicked at the dying man with his shoe. Ray glared daggers down him for a moment before turning to head out. "Someone take care of him; and make sure to get arid of the body. I want no trace left behind." "Yes, sir." "Come, Jerome. I haven't seen my daughter since she got home, and I've been away from her long enough."-

"Mr. Bodyguard!" My voice echoed all throughout the building. Eric simply frowned, though in the most irritated, menacing way. He didn't even look at me; Mr. Bodyguard's long stare was concreted onto Eric. Not moving his head whatsoever, he threw the whole door far down the hall, it smashing with a crash against what I assumed to be a wall. Oh man, if looks could obliterate….

"You have three seconds to get away from Anastasia! AND I'VE ALREADY STARTED COUNTING!" Unlike me, Mr. Bodyguard wasn't intimidated by Eric's terrifying aura at all; I wonder if they'd met before. Like an idiot, Eric didn't budge an inch, which was a really bad idea considering that Mr. Bodyguard just tore your door clean off its hinges. "I thought you were with Steele in the Eastside. It's nice to see you again, Odo," he said this without smiling.

Well, that was three seconds. Before I had time to realize what was happening, I was being pulled off the floor by the back of my shirt. With one swift move, I suddenly went flying across the room. And I wasn't tossed either- I was thrown. Mr. Bodyguard picked me up with one hand and threw me straight across the room away from the two. I landed against the back wall- hard. I don't think there were any broken bones, but I wouldn't be surprised if there was a hairline fracture or two. I'm sure he didn't mean to hurl me that hard but then, he still doesn't know his own strength. This clearly didn't make Eric happy.

"Hey, don't handle my little girl so roughly." "Shut up!" Mr. Bodyguard didn't hesitate to full-on charge at the mob lord; I was half-expecting Eric to die on impact alone. "Anastasia, run!" You don't have to tell me twice. It was a tad hard to stand up after crashing like that, but somehow, I managed to get to my feet. I had just made it to the door before another gigantic crash echoed from behind me. I was about to spin around when I was swept up into Mr. Bodyguard's arms. Sneaking a peak over his shoulder, I saw Eric laying on the floor with a trail of blood dripping down his mouth. I'm sure Mr. Bodyguard wanted to kill him but refrained, instead more focused on getting me the hell out of there. Eric's eyes locked onto mine as we exited; him wiping the blood off his mouth with the back of his hand. That would not be the last time we met.

Mr. Bodyguard didn't stop until we were safely outside. I knew the cops were on their way because you could hear sirens in the distance. Eric of course, made his escape before they arrived however; Jack was not so lucky. Mr. Bodyguard didn't set me down right away; I think he wasn't willing to until he knew that we were out of harm's way. But eventually, after a minute or two of no one following us, he carefully set me down onto my feet.

"You ok?" This was the first time I heard a bit of shakiness in Mr. Bodyguard's tone. I stared up at him with wide, grateful, astonished eyes. "You….. you came for me…. You really came…." He did; he came to my aid. If he hadn't shown up, I don't know what would have happened… What Eric would have done to me. "What are you talking about, stupid? Of course I came- it's you," Mr. Bodyguard turned in such a way as to face me.

My eyes grew bigger as I was struck with a sudden epiphany. What….. What am doing? What am I doing with my life? Memories unconsciously flooded my mind; I had no control over which ones came and went. _Me getting tackled to the ground that night; Christian saving me._ I see… _My internship meeting with Christian._ I see now. _My appointment with the gynecologist, and watching the happy birds play_. I've been wrong this whole time. _"Well there's always a calm before the storm."_ I thought I had no choices regarding my future, when I actually have one. _Coming home to find Mr. Bodyguard in my living room_. I can't believe I didn't see it before… _Christian and I getting into a fake relationship_. But it's there; I can't deny that I see it now. _The first time Paul hugged me_. I don't have to do this. _Me and Mr. Bodyguard going down to the Five-Way Catacomb_. I don't have to be queen….. if someone else is willing to rule in my steed. _Me sitting in the palace gardens in Florence, thinking about Christian_. Someone I trust….. The last memory was of Mr. Bodyguard bringing me to the airport; I recalled the sensation of him grabbing hold of my forearm. _"Don't die. It'd be a real inconvenience if you died, so don't." _ Yes, I found another decision for myself, and I'm going to make it- right now.

My eyes intensified onto Mr. Bodyguard's as I stood as straight as humanly possible. "Stay." "Huh?" "Stay with us and become a Dollar." He didn't say anything to this, sharpening his eyes onto mine. "I want to give it to you- everything. Be head of the Dollars in place of me; I want you to rule for me. I'm willing to give you it all; members, territory, property- all yours." "A-Anastasia…" He finally uttered. By the tone of his voice, I could tell he was considering it. I sweetened the deal with a smile- a true, heartfelt smile. "I know you'll do a good job, and I know you'd never hurt me or my family. Please consider it, Mr. Bodyguard," yes, I know I should have used his real name, but screw it! I like Mr. Bodyguard better than Odo.

He didn't even move right away; just stood there completely froze- I think this blindsided him. I waited for a second for him to react, and when he didn't, I figured he might want to think about this alone. Plus the police sirens were getting louder now. He visibly flinched as I turned to walk away. "Thank you for saving me. I'll be sure to tell my father and….."

Everyone halted when two hands suddenly grabbed hold of my shoulders. Without any control on my part, I felt myself being turned once again to face his direction. Mr. Bodyguard's eyes shown down upon me in the most genuine, most authentic way. After a few seconds of neither of us speaking, his hands moved up to cup both sides under my cheeks. His eyes shut and mine followed suit. His face leaned in and within a matter of seconds, I had my very first kiss- on the lips, that is. It wasn't romantic or lustful in the slightest; it felt much like Giordano kissing my forehead back in Florence. With both our eyes shut and him holding me there like that, he kissed me for a good solid minute. When he finally pulled back and we reopened our eyes, I saw him smile for the very first time- a kind, sincere, loyal smile.

"Dammit, guess you're my queen now."


	51. Daddy and I Have a Chat

So here's what happened yesterday. Jack kidnapped me and brought me to this place where Eric was staying for a couple of days. He sent his righthand man, James, to "distract" my father- which worked. I pressed the help button on my police bracelet and told Mr. Bodyguard Paul's full name and which police station he worked at. Mr. Bodyguard called the station demanding my location, then got there before the cops arrived. Originally Mr. Bodyguard was going to strangle or at least crush Eric to death but didn't want to kill in front of me. The Dollars killed James and incinerated the body. Eric escaped before the police arrived, which they eventually did. Paul was the first to run up to me, tightly embracing me in his arms. The place was searched, only to find a ton of thug bodies inside; most unconscious. After pulling some strings, Mr. Bodyguard was let go by the police and Paul drove me to my father's instead of back to the hospital. Oh yeah- did I mention that I handed over the entire Dollar empire to Mr. Bodyguard on a silver platter? He kissed me, which meant that he became my vassal, he pressed his loyalty to me and only me. I know that sounds weird when a man and woman do that; it's much more profound and ceremony-like when two thugs do it, trust me.

Daddy was hysterical when he found out what had happened. He got to the manor only to be told by Jason that I ran out to break up a fight with the Yellow Scarves. On the one hand, he was super proud how I handled that situation. On the other, his mind blew up at hearing that Eric had me abducted. I cried when they informed me that James was dead; I didn't want anyone to die, but Daddy reassured me that he didn't suffer. I don't know how true that was but didn't want to press it further.

Daddy ordered a man-hunt. Every Dollar was to spend the next week searching for Eric and Jack; he gave the command to kill on sight if they were spotted. He didn't care about hearing their side of the story, he just wanted them dead by now. Of course I had my problems with that, but also had mixed feelings when I heard that no traces of either men were found next week. Eric's still out there…. And I bet he was still searching, waiting for me. _"I won't stop until I'm holding you."_ I was sure he was. And I did run into Eric a couple more times in my life before Paul finally shot him- but that's another story.

Mr. Bodyguard didn't leave my side since he came to save me. I didn't even ask him to stay either; he was like this very loyal, very protective guard dog. He unofficially declared himself my bodyguard, and while he still treated it like babysitting, he was softer, kinder now. Don't get me wrong; he was still gruff and grumpy- but he did seem a lot more relaxed around me. Daddy didn't ask why this was the case when we got the manor and Mr. Bodyguard followed me into his office; I think he was actually quite pleased to see this.

I didn't get a chance to see or call Christian. Before leaving the manor, Paul assured me that he'd go visit him in the hospital; I told him to buy some red roses for him. He grinned and nodded after shaking Mr. Bodyguard's hand and thanking him again. We went straight into Daddy's office where he and Jerome already were. Daddy politely excused Jerome and Mr. Bodyguard, who went to stand outside the room in the hall. What can I say? Us Steeles know how to pick 'em. Daddy proceeded to hold me in his arms on the couch for an hour, weeping softly into my hair and trying to control his trembling.

"Are you sure you're ok, Ana? Did he touch you? You positive he didn't hurt you?" Daddy repeatedly asked as he stroked my tear-stained hair. "I'm fine, Daddy- really," I omitted that Mr. Bodyguard threw me into a wall; that still hurt everywhere. "Oh, Anastasia…. I'm so sorry," more tears. "It's not your fault, Daddy. I understand why you never told me about Eric," I rested my hand on his arm which was still coiled around me. "I tried so hard to protect you, to keep you out of his grasp… like your mother." "I know," my eyes lowered a bit. I know… "That's why I want you to succeed me; surround yourself with strong men who can protect you. You're my daughter, Ana…." "I know, Daddy…. I know the target that paints on my back," those words were familiar. Daddy's grip tightened around me a little. "If only you knew how much I love you, Anastasia….." "I love you too, Daddy- so, so much," my eyes shut tenderly.

"I know you don't want this life. I know you want to get your PhD and focus on your writing; you were born to write. But it's not that simple, sweetheart." I don't know why I thought of it just then, but I suddenly remembered that I hadn't told Daddy yet… one of my original sources of pain; what the doctor told me that day. Moving slightly, my head swirled around so I could meet his gaze. He looked a bit puzzled but didn't verbally address it, instead continuing to watch me with gentle, soft eyes.

"Daddy, I haven't told you yet but…. I'm infertile; I can't have kids." To my surprise, Daddy didn't react immediately; just kept staring down at me with wide eyes. Eventually his face visibly relaxed around the edges; a small, sad grin bloomed across his lips. "I know…" "What?!" "You don't think I called the hospital? Why else would I get you a UK visa?" "So…. you knew? This whole time?" "Well only for a couple of weeks. I had to be sure before…." Before?

Gently shuffling out of Daddy's arms, I got up to stand in front of him. He shifted on the couch so to face me again, clasping his hands and resting his elbows on his knees. "There's something else…. I want…. I want….." I stopped to take in a deep, deep breath. Well, there's no time like the present; here goes nothing. "Daddy, I want to give the succession to Odo." "Odo?" This definitely caught his attention; his back arching up a bit. I nodded firmly. "I trust him, and I believe he trusts me." "Odo isn't a Dollar." "He is now…"

Daddy stared at me for the longest time, his expression considerate and calm. "Are you sure about Odo?" I nodded. Yes- oh, yes. I knew if anyone would safeguard anything, it was him. He saved me, after all. Daddy thought for a minute. "Would you marry him?" My eyes widened though I tried to keep outwardly poised. "I-I don't want to, but if that's what it takes, then yes- I will." I knew this was coming anyway; my future was one of an arranged marriage. And I could do worse than Mr. Bodyguard. Still…. Christian's image flashed through my mind. I bit my lower lip nervously.

To my shock and delight, Daddy flashed me a brilliant smile. He put his arms out at his side and leaned back on the couch. "I don't think that is necessary." "D-Daddy!" I gasped totally dumbfounded. What was happening? "Odo's already pleaded himself to you, didn't he?" He meant if he kissed me or not. My cheeks blushed a bit, but I nodded shyly. "That's it, then; he won't betray you or the Steele clan." "Daddy, what are you….?" "I will him act as regent in your steed on one condition," his eyes glued onto mine once more. A condition? What could that be if not an arranged marriage? How much better could this get? "He'll run the Dollars here with me on one single condition on your part. You move to Europe, permanently." Freedom… That's what I saw in that moment. After all those years of wishing, hoping, dreaming, wanting, praying, fantasizing, desiring…. For the first time, real freedom was within my sight.

"I can do that."


	52. My Three Strong Men

No One's P.O.V. (only for this chapter)-

"What do you mean you don't know where he is?" You need to find him now!" "We're working on it." "Is the whole department on the case? Can you call all the departments in the city? The state?" "Believe me, I want to find him just as much as you do, Christian." Christian's eyes grew. This was the first time Paul had referred to him by his first name; he sort of liked it. The detective sat at his hospital bedside, where Christian was on the bed with the red rose bouquet in his lap. He'd been out of his mind with worry since Elena informed him about her ex-husband and his undying "love" for Ray's dead wife, Carla. Paul coming to tell him that Eric had managed to get away didn't help anything either.

"What about Elena?" "Who?" "This woman who used to work for me; she was the one who came here to tell me all about Lincoln. Can't you arrest and interrogate her?" Christian pressed. Paul's face fell downwards onto the floor sadly. "It's not a good idea. She has connections with the mob world if she knows about what's going on. I don't want to accidently incriminate Ana or Ray in the process of finding witnesses." "Paul…." Christian's lips parted a sliver. That's right; he knew as well. He was also there at the warehouse; he also heard and saw everything…

"You don't have to worry….. I've already taken the liberty to destroy all evidence pointing to Ana to the underworld," Paul uttered in a low voice; he knew he was breaking the law, but he didn't see as he had much a choice. Not if it would protect Anastasia… "Thank you, Paul; I can't tell you how grateful I am." "I could say the same…." Paul flashed Christian a soft side-grin. This whole experience slowly, slowly brought the two egoistical yet deeply caring men closer together; at least they weren't fighting all the time anymore. A little, tender laugh erupted from the detective's lips.

"It's sounds crazy, but… I wish it was me in that bed; I wish it had been me that saved Ana. I've always wanted to do something for her…. to be there for her." "Paul!" Christian did the right thing and let him continue; he looked as if he had more to say. "I guess I always wasn't this protective over her. But back when we were high school, maybe fifteen I think, she got hurt trying to help this elderly lady and kid on a staircase. I was going to meet her at the top and I saw her grab the woman just in time… Ana went tumbling down and broke her arm as a result. It was then that I knew she was different, special… I wanted to protect her, to make sure nothing like that ever happened again. She was always secretive of her family and never invited me over; we developed this weird dynamic. I treated her more like a little sister, getting mad and yelling at her a lot… Heh, she actually confessed to me in our last year of high school, but I turned her down. Now… now," Paul's hands pressed together as they were resting clasped on his kneecaps. His eyes lowered in the softest way imaginable. "I can't believe it took me this long to realize… I love her… I love Ana in the most hopeful, most helpless way."

Christian just watched the man for the longest time, not saying anything. He should have felt jealously; it would be rational for Christian to have been jealous. But he wasn't; he felt sorry for Paul- nothing but pity for the cop. It was like Paul rejected Anastasia's love in the past, and now it was too late for him, for them. Christian was certain that they'd be nothing more than dear friends going forward. Anastasia clearly adored Paul, but not in the way he loved her. It was different now. _I want him near me….. I don't care how; I just want him in my life_. Different, but maybe in a good way.

When Paul didn't speak for a minute or two, Christian felt it ok to say something to the dejected detective. "Thank you, Paul…. Thank you so much for going to her, for finding her. I trust you; I trust you to protect her," in his absence, of course. Paul's gaze met his and the two men looked at each other. "Thanks, Grey; I trust you too, obviously…." His eyes rolled down to the bandages around his waist. "Allies?" Christian smirked while sticking out his hand. Paul chuckled. "Friends too much of a stretch?" "For the time being, but I know you're on her side, and that's the most important thing to me right now." Paul eyed him for a moment before steadily shaking his hand. "Yeah, me too."

Right as their hands parted, the hospital door opened; neither man was surprised to see Odo come inside, shutting the door behind him. "Hey, Odo. Any word yet?" Paul asked first; Christian still didn't know his name. "Not yet; I've got all the Dollars out trying to sniff out the asshole." "So it's true, then? Anastasia handed the metaphorical Dollar title over to you?" Christian leaned back in his folded-up bed. Odo considered before responding, eventually nodding his head; he didn't like discussing the Dollars with non-mobsters. This whole "being in a gang" thing was new to him too.

"How is she?" Paul asked the newly appointed mob lord. "She's fine- packing. Steele's booked her a plane ticket for this weekend; he's going to destroy her American passport the moment she lands in Britain." Christian and Paul looked at each other, letting a brief pause fall over the room. "Did you want to talk to me about something, Odo?" With a very stiff lip, the detective blinked back to the mob lord. "Not you- him," Odo pointed to Christian before shoving both his hands back into his pockets. Christian seemed surprised but not too surprised to hear this.

"Steele's asked me to tell you to keep your distance from the princess until she's settled in York." Christian's mouth immediately shot to retort the request, but he carried on. "He knows you visited her in Florence. Oh yeah; you don't think he installed a monitor in her phone before she left? This is a big change for her; she's leaving America and will not be returning- ever. Even for visits; she's moving to Europe where she's going to stay. Course she needs time to digest all this," he brought his arms into a fold.

Neither man replied right away. Their stares simply wandered into nowhere for what felt like eternity, though it was only a few seconds. Then Paul wordlessly looked back at Christian. His lips parted once again, though it took a while before any words came out. "Ok." "Christian?" Paul blinked in mild astonishment; he expected the CEO to at least put up a little more fight than that. But Christian's expression was firm and truthful. "I will respect Ray's wishes, so long as he understands that I don't intend to stay away for too long." Paul peered back to Odo, who merely gave a single nod in understanding. "Got it. I'll let him know," he then turned to head back out the door.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta get back to the princess," he didn't like being away from her this long. Christian stopped him on his way out, however. "Odo!" The mob lord paused for a second, glancing back at him from over his shoulder. Christian stared in a sincere fashion, a kind yet straight smile appearing in the corners of his lips. "Thank you…. thank you." Odo didn't reply for a moment, watching Christian with wide eyes of his own. Eventually he too smiled….. he smiled at the men inside the room. "Don't thank me; she's my headache too."

The best kind of headache anyone could ever have.


	53. What a Beautiful Light

"_And I'll be with you, when you dream."_

I was packing for my big trek across the Atlantic again; only this time, Daddy booked a one-way ticket. I was overcome with a series of emotions, some conflicting. I was furious that Daddy had the audacity to transfer my PhD position to York without so much as even consulting me. Granted, it wasn't a bad trade; I was going to a better university in fact. It was the fact that I had literally no say in it all that really enraged me. But Daddy assured me that the over-protection and monitoring would stop once I was safely outside the US. For the first time in my life, I'd be truly free and unwatched in York; I'd finally be like a real adult. That made me unspeakably happy. Mr. Bodyguard and I had a ceremony with all the Dollars in the city present. I officially handed over my position as head of the mob to him; I'd still technically be "queen" in name only- he'd literally act as my regent. That was enough though. All the Dollars were thrilled by this; the misogynist jerks got what they wanted- a male leader- and those worried about my safety knew I'd be safe in Europe. It was a win for everyone. The only concession was that Mr. Bodyguard could never marry or have kids of his own, which he was perfectly fine with; he never struck me as the romantic type.

That just left Paul, Kate, and Christian….. Christian, my hands which were currently folding a shirt for my suitcase stopped. That's right, I wouldn't get to see him before I left; he was still in the hospital. I wouldn't see him…. My eyes unconsciously scrolled down to the bracelet he gave me on my wrist. _"I love you, Anastasia Steele. I've always loved you; there is no other. It's always been you- always."_ Letting go of the shirt, my hand covered the bracelet; my fingers pressed it tightly against my skin. I'm leaving….. I'm leaving him again, and I didn't even get to say good bye. My eyes slowly, agonizingly shut. I didn't get to see you again.

My eyes fluttered open when I felt when seemed to be a light breeze on my cheek, which was odd considering I was inside with the window shut. I found myself standing in the middle of a busy street outside in a strange city. Before my mind had any thoughts on the situation, I scanned all around me while not moving my feet an inch. I knew….. I knew I must be hallucinating or dreaming just then but….. I have no memory of why this might be. The last thing I remember, I was standing in my room while packing for my trip to York and… I touched Christian's bracelet.

"Ana?" My head gently rolled up to see a familiar, beautiful face staring back at me. His eyes were the first thing that caught me; his radiant, sapphire eyes. He was in casual wear and holding two ice cream cones. I just stood there, my eyes gradually beginning to grow. "I remember….." I heard my lips whisper to myself. "Huh?" His head cocked a little. "I remember everything…" "Remember what, Ana?" And that's when I knew, we were in Seattle, in a whole other universe. I remember this… I remember you.

"W-why… why now?" _"Anastasia,"_ the voice came from behind me now as the world around me began to fade; colors and figures became fuzzy. "You said… I wouldn't remember while I'm awake," my gaze lowered softly. I felt him take a step closer to me; I didn't even have to look- I could sense him near me, watching me…. What a fantastic sensation. _"You longed to see me, be close… so I came to you like this."_ "Christian…." _"I can't bear to see you suffer, Anastasia."_ Oh, the way he said that just now… I spun my feet around so I could face him. There he was, so near to me… My angel, the One Christian- the original source of all his essence.

"_Anastasia….. my sweet Anastasia,"_ his hand rose up in front of him. My lips began to tremble as the quiver ran through my whole, entire body. "Hold me…. hold me….." The angel didn't have to be asked twice. He was here within a second, wrapping both his strong, strong arms tenderly around me. I re-shut my eyes as I rested against his chest. "Please, stay with me…" I was begging while trying to steady my breath; I didn't know it was possible to be this happy. _"I am always with you."_ "No, I mean in my world; I want you to be there with me." His eyes lowered a tad while he rested the side of his face on my hair. _"You do not understand, dear wife." _"Huh?" That's when he pulled me back lightly so our eyes could meet; his entirely gentle while mine where on the verge of tears.

"_In any world, in any reality…. I came to this universe because you were here, my darling. You're like my own personal sun, shining so brightly. I'm like a moth attracted to your light. You, wherever you are… you become a radiant existence to me. The way you helped the woman when you were young, or took the knife for me… I love them all; absolutely everything about you in every single reality. And every time I find myself lost to my desires to be close, to feel the warmth shining off you. No matter where you go, I follow… I can't exist without seeing that smile radiated from the bottom of your heart. It's never enough, regardless how many times I see it. I'm attracted to your light, Anastasia….. my uncontrollable desire for it is only quenched when I'm with you,"_ his eyes shut in the most tender way imaginable as our foreheads gently pressed together.

"_What a beautiful light."_

One Month Later:

I'd lived in York for almost a month now. Life had been hectic but really good thus far. I started my PhD and began teaching at the university. I was living in student residency for postgrads right downtown across the street from the castle. It was still so new to me, but I finally had the normal, ordinary life I'd always dreamt of- and I simply adored it. I loved York, I loved my university, I loved my supervisor, I loved not constantly being monitored all the time. Life was shaping up pretty well at the moment. There was one glaring omission from my life, however.

I hadn't spoken to Christian since I left the hospital that day Jack abducted me. It felt so long now, despite only being a little over a month. I wanted to reach out to him, but inside me told me that he'd come- he'd come to me when he was ready. I can't say how I know; it's just there somewhere inside me. Deep, deep inside of me. I do recall something about a light shining but had no actual memory to go alongside it. I wonder where I got "light" from?

So, for the time being, I listened to my gut and focused on my life here. I was walking through a part of downtown called the Shambles; this really cute, cool, medieval row of whirly houses and shops. I had just popped in the tea shop for some loose-leaf white tea. Upon exiting, I was stuffing it into my bag. The zipper was just pulled up when my head lifted; I looked forward, and I saw him.

There…. right there, standing on the other side of the small, cobblestone street was him- Christian Grey. My Christian Grey. He was fully facing my direction with these large, gorgeous eyes. Neither of us reacted, even moved immediately. Like a scene out of a movie, we stood there for god knows how long staring at each other. Both of our mouths were open, like we had to remind ourselves to breathe; which was actually a lot harder than it sounds. Then, acting from a force deep within me, the most elated, most joyous smile started to blossom across my lips. He's here… he's right here. He was right; he did come for me, after all.

Like a moth attracted to light, he came to York for me.


	54. Epilogue

The female angel watched as that Anastasia ran into her Christian's arms on that York street. She smiled and turned to face her eternal husband standing close beside her.

"Another happily ever after." "It is always a "happily ever after" with you, wife." The One Anastasia smiled at him. "What universe shall we choose next?" Her arms then wrapped around his neck. The One Christian returned the gesture by snaking his arms around her waist. "I could be a vampire again? And you a human?" "Oooooh, I like it! Just don't be named "Edward" this time." The male angel chuckled, leaning in to rest his forehead against his wife's; a very familiar and beloved position. Both affectionately shut their eyes. "Alright, but only if you promise to meet me sooner. I want you close….

So close I could almost feel you." For always and ever.

The End.


	55. Thanks for Reading!

Thanks for reading!

I appreciate all my readers and sincerely hoped you enjoyed the story. Thanks for all your comments and support; it really helps inspire and motivate me to keep writing.

This is my second Fifty Shades fanfic, and while I would consider more ideas, I have run out of material for this series in particular. If you have any ideas, please let me know! I want to hear your thoughts! (Maybe something supernatural but I am down for anything).

Thanks again for reading! Really hoped you enjoyed it and will read what other stories I post! Until next time!

P.S.- Also let me if you'd like a part two of this fanfiction.


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